Poncetastic 2017

[Annwithnoe]

Since there doesn't seem to be a poncetastic thread, and to avoid confusion with thread titles, would I be out of order to start this one?

First order of business, a toast to our dearly missed Fellatio Nelson, wherever she may be and a quote from her original thread:

^
"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

^

Ahhh hello all :) Name changer but have been around previously.

My fruit is steeping for my christmas puddings, Ocado delivered my 1pint basins with no bloody lids do hopefully the ones I bought elsewhere will arrive tomorrow.

My mincemeat is made, same recipe as NoWordForFluffy :) Looks great!

This year I am making my own wrapping paper, my skull and cross buns gorgeous stamps have arrived and I have stickles glitter glue for some accents. DS1 and I are also making tags and his cards using my vast array of stamps. He is 4 so nice and easy to make some lovely ones. www.skullandcrossbuns.com/products/cat_901228-christmas.html

Oh wow fridge that link is dangerous.

fridge
I bought the polar bear last year for my cards and went over all the lines with either gold or silver Stickles . They were very beautiful .
Can't fault the quality of those stamps.

fluffy shoots are great fun (though I'm a fair weather shooter, otherwise it's a lot of hours standing in fields getting very cold & wet in the winter months!) but can be a very expensive hobby for those that do it more than we do!

Yeah, cold and wet isn't appealing! Nice autumn day though? Bring it on!

Yeah that's what I like about it, bracing and lots of walking with it too!

Made some christmas cards at the weekend with DM have a few days in half term booked off to make the rest of my hamper preserves.

Funds are tighter this year so we won't be doing as much booze!

I'm low carbing this year so that cuts out a lot of the cooking poncery, which is my favourite sort, but I did make a few jars of mincemeat from our own apples, and on saturday I sliced and dried a load of them to use as decorations. I'm going to get some oranges and do them next weekend. I have tonnes of ivy and a big holly tree in our new garden so the place will be awash with badly put together natural decorations this year : )

Quite quiet on the ponce front, isn't it?

Feeling smug, as my cake, pudding and mincemeat are all tucked away in the top of the pantry.

Dd's birthday is in November, so I always feel better knowing that I'm ahead. (Obviously I have to ponce for the kids' birthdays, too).

My cinnamon essential oil arrived today, ready to scent my pine cones.

We have two big pine trees at the end of the garden, so the kids and I collects loads and cleaned them a month or so back.

I see this as excellent scrimping, as I have been known to spend a tenner on a small bag of ready-scented pinecones .

Notapuffin: I, too, am low-carbing, but Christmas doesn't count, does it?

We've got lots of garden foliage as well, but I just don't have the knack.

It just tends to look like someone's pulled some stuff out of the garden waste bin and tied some string round it.

Miles, I'd like to think christmas doesn't count but I still have 6 stone to lose and I'm diabetic so carbs mess me up royally, so I don't want to make a whole christmas cake and pudding when I'm the only one in the house who eats them. I will definitely have carby christmas treats but on a smaller scale than that!

My natural stuff will look like shite too, I've never done it before and everything poncey I try looks like shite. But I'm enjoying the fantasy : )

this is definitely not the thread for me (how did I stumble onto it) but my husband was regaling me with his secret location of sloe bushes - apparently they grow up a wall sheltered by other trees/bushes and so no thorns...

Most of my poncing is planned but they are December activities! I'd love to do a gingerbread wreath using star shape or tree shape cookies (rather than a house as in previous years) so will have to time that for some social event so they don't all get wasted eaten by me.

I'm seriously contemplating some homemade gifts this year- I bought some little daffodil bulbs yesterday in b&q, inspired by the poster who does miniatures in vases, but not sure if I'm brave enough. I'd also love to make some mixed sweets- I remember making them with my DM for all our teachers one year - but again they don't keep well.

I love Christmas cake but it is expensive to make and I often waste lots as once the diet starts in January it has to go. So I have bought one the last few years and let the dc ice it. As they are forbidden from touching the Christmas tree I feel i should let them at least have the cake.....

These are my cards though, they are simple but I think quite cute.

IKEA have all their Christmas poncing in stock and in store now (link here).

I spent £150 today but lots is reusable eg LED candles (cats plus preschooler), place mats, cake/biscuit tins etc, plus tree decorations and wrapping. I expect several of you were on the wrapping thread, so you'll appreciate this. I'm going for shades of brown paper with red accents, to be accessorised with red/white/silver baubles, bells, ribbons, and hand-crocheted tree decorations.

Glad I am nowhere near IKEA mrshathaway as I'm trying to be budget minded this year!! That sounds like a fab haul, love the wrapping paper.

I did my rhubarb jam & Nigella chocolate fudge today. The fudge is lovely, but too expensive for the masses (MIL's friends/Rainbow leaders etc) so doing a mince pie fudge tomorrow too!

I was thinking of going for textile wrapping this year as it seems dreadfully wasteful to just chuck all that paper away after one use (I've been told off in the past for telling DCs to open their presents carefully so I can save the paper for another time )

I ponced, I ponced! But now I need your help fellow poncers. I have Delia's mincemeat resting in the kitchen. I've done double the recipe so I can do half brandy, half amaretto when I put it in jars. Will it still just need 3 hours in the oven or should I be giving it longer? I'm not a fan of mince pies personally (sacrilege I know!) so I've never made mincemeat before and I'm not sure i'll know when it's ready. As per the fellow low carbers above, plan is to embrace the Christmas poncey cooking but with things I don't eat so I don't put all the weight lost before holiday season back on!

I'm waiting for my scotch bonnet and scorpion chillies to ripen so I can do another batch of chilli jam. The blow-your-socks-off edition! 😂🌶🔥🌶🔥

Then I won't be doing much until I make a load of the Christmas food nearer the time.

I'd be utterly useless with foliage etc; I'm just completely devoid of artistic talent! 😂

Did people say about Aldi doing an online buying thing with £10 off? Does anyone know about this so I can buy the gin to go with my sloes that are in the freezer?!

Does anyone have a link to how to force paperwhites? Just ordered some bulbs
Defrosted my freezer yesterday ready for Christmas prep, and made my mincemeat.

It's trumpton who did the paper whites, these a link upthread, I bought mine the other day, need to check out my hurricanes that reminds me!

Ooh I like the idea of making my own wrapping paper! Scull and cross bones do personalised ones, would make it really easy with four boys to tell whose is whose on Christmas Day. Can I ask, what paper do you use? I thought they would sell it on the website, but they don't!

I either buy brown paper from IKEA or Amazon.

Ok, good idea. I'm excited!