Poncetastic 2017

[Annwithnoe]

Since there doesn't seem to be a poncetastic thread, and to avoid confusion with thread titles, would I be out of order to start this one?

First order of business, a toast to our dearly missed Fellatio Nelson, wherever she may be and a quote from her original thread:

^
"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

^

I'm also after an idiots guide and pictures to that fab sounding idea trumpton!

Everyday I've just made the Delia mincemeat. I've subbed cranberries for candied peel (nobody likes that in our house) and glacé cherries for almonds (so the pies can go in lunch boxes in December) and I'm not too worried about it. I think it will be fab and probably taste a little different but not hugely. Hth

TU at sainsburys have a set of those mug hugger cookie cutters, mini ones 3 for £3. Also a whole new range of Christmas China and other bits and bobs

@sjd Also from Nigella - I linked to her pistachio fudge upthread. Sub the pistachios for your cranberries www.nigella.com/recipes/chocolate-pistachio-fudge

@minster2012
@buckeejit

I usually put 3 or 4 inches of pebbles into a hurricane lamp or wide vase and set the bulbs 4 or 5 per pot on them. Add water to base of bulbs and leave in cool place until shoots are 6 inches tall. Then bring into the warm.
I generally start mine around bonfire night to give 6 weeks before Christmas .
The report on stunting the green leaves without diminishing the flowers is HERE It's called Pickling Your Paperwhites !

Oh I love it Trumpton thank you, must add investigate hurricane vases and general cases to tomorrow's to do list!

Thanks Claire

Anyone else obsessed with Christmas baking?

I tried Mary Berry's Christmas cake after years of making Delia's and I think it has the edge.

Mary Berry uses sherry to soak her fruit, but I use COINTREAU.

Rachel Allen does a nice Christmas cake which has no treacle so a bit lighter- my family seem to enjoy it. Think she also suggests adding candied ginger if you like it, which is a little twist.

I like ginger in a Christmas cake. I'm allergic to nuts and ginger seems to cut through the excessive raisininess of a nut-free cake.

Miles, my mum had a bottle of Cointreau on top of one of the kitchen cupboards for years. Might even still be there for all I know! 😂 It's one of those things that reminds me of childhood!

I have a friend who soaks her fruit in amaretto.

I don't make one as DF makes a huge one and we would never eat it all! He uses Delias, not sure if he makes and adjustments to the recipe though.

Delurking to to all my fellow Christmas ponces!

This week I tallied up the cost difference between making Christmas gifts (more on that in a minute) as opposed to buying them, and I've worked out I'll save £250. That includes all the jars (kilner), bottles, wrapping and ingredients. I am making:
[fhappy] Cranberry gin
[fhappy] Chilli jam
[fhappy] Nigella's Christmas puddini bonbons
And dammit; I'm feeling pretty bloody smug right now. I'm actually basking in festive poncery simply planning it. It's marvellous.

I work quite a busy job so I felt that the nicest thing I can give my loved ones this Christmas, is my time. I'm also making my mother a framed cross stitch that says 'Go Fuck Yourself' for her to hang in her hallway. I got started last night, and finished the centre flowers and also the 'fuck'.

Not sure what happened to my festive smiley faces, i think I've out ponced myself ;)

Ziggie I think I spend more if you count all the false starts, Pinterest fails and taste tests

I might need to learn cross stitch ....

I have a single shot of Gran Marnier left in the bottle after about 8 years - I only ever use it for Christmas baking and mincemeat making, and this year, using the Hairy Biker's recipe, added my 100ml sherry and 100ml brandy but also 100ml Gran Marnier as I was making a 1.5times batch of fruit and fancied a bit more citrus in it.

Ziggie you are fantastic.

I love the idea of soaking fruit in amaretto. Do Lidll do cheap amaretto copy?

Aldi sell cheap amaretto for about £5 a bottle

Today I've made my Christmas table cloth- I'm way out of my league in here with poncing by the way- but I am pretty pleased anyway with the way it turned out. I'm terrible for starting projects so my promise to myself has been to only buy what I can realistically make, before moving on. So I've made a huge blue sheet tablecloth and a blue chiffon with gold stars printed on it top layer for special occasions. Job well done. Although largely unskilled as the fabric was measured and therefore cut to size for me.

I've also soaked and baked all my pine cones now ready for making some sort of wreath. I loved that pine cone tree up thread, but I can't see how to actually assemble it so I think long ribbons with pine cones as a door hanger is the way to go.

Lol @ ziggiestardust. Excellent, filthy poncing.

No-one, you want to be nick get that ancient vintage bottle of Cointreau for Cosmopolitan-making purposes.

Yum.

Am currently in heaven. Tucked away upstairs reading my Ideal Christmas magazine, listening to John Rutter carols, drinking a cinnamon latte & eating coffee-Apple-cinnamon cake ( which I made from a Poncey Pinterest recipe).

Happy sigh.

Sorry, that second reply was to nowordforfluffy.

I'm there next weekend, Miles, I'll liberate it! 😂

Good work.

Set it free to fulfil it's Poncey destiny!

Definitely need to see some pics of your Christmas craft poncery Ziggie & Averagebear

I have completed my first pompom wreath (which was going to be for SIL but I'm keeping it now & also half way through knitting MIL scarf.

Going to start pumpkin chutney tomorrow - anyone recommend a good recipe?

I'll set the kids off to distract the parents and have a good old rummage to see if I can locate the bugger! (They've had a new kitchen since I last recall seeing it!)