Poncetastic 2017

[Annwithnoe]

Since there doesn't seem to be a poncetastic thread, and to avoid confusion with thread titles, would I be out of order to start this one?

First order of business, a toast to our dearly missed Fellatio Nelson, wherever she may be and a quote from her original thread:

^
"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

^

FOr cleaning the pinecones and greenery - I look for the cleanest fronds/branches I can find, but the cones still need some work.

I clean off any resin with a q-tip dipped in rubbing alcohol, then soak the cones in a mix of white vinegar and water (1:1) for about half an hour. They may close up. Rinse and drain. Then line a baking tray with tin foil and bake in a low oven until they open up again.

The vinegar and heat kill off insects and mould afaik. If there are still seeds, they should be dry enough to shake out after the spell in the oven, or you could pull them out before you soak them too.

For the fronds - a good rinse usually does.

How does the greenery last til Xmas? Does it not die?

I wouldn't freeze Florentines. There's some alchemy there that I wouldn't want to fuck up. Dead easy though. Will post recipe in the morning.

I gather mine very late in the season. I have a nice holly a few feet from my back gate, and that lasts ages in water - I have a holly centrepiece every year. The other greenery lasts about a week. I put it up the day before Christmas Eve and it's gone by NY eve.

Gosh, everyone's so busy! Poor DH has been in hospital so there's been no poncing (just buying presents)....please don't expel me just yet!

Mmmm tablet, we're from Aberdeen originally and I freakin love the stuff! mine went down quite well at last years WI Christmas fair, lots of tartan ribbon and going back to my strong accent helped to sell its charm! Well, who doesn't like to feel their teeth dissolve as they nibble!?

DH's favourite memory of a particular place is when a group was selling tablet in aid of Diabetes UK He suspects they were drumming up business.

Hope MrBadger is feeling a little bit better. Have you told him the details of the planned poncing?

That is utterly hilarious and deliciously ironic, MrsH!

Patronus, I hope your DH will be home with you soon. So hard on both of you. 😢

Thanks @mathanxiety

Next question from me is how all those amazing Pinterest decorations suspended from the ceiling are attached to the ceiling?!

Ohhhh waiting for the Florentines recipe!

Preheat oven to 190°C.

Melt 25g butter with 75g caster sugar and 10g plain flour or cornflour. Slowly add 65ml double cream. Fold in 100g flaked/sliced almonds, 50g candied peel, 25g chopped glacé cherries and 25g angelica.

Remove from heat and allow to cool slightly while you line at least two baking sheets with good baking paper or silicon paper/liners.

Drop the mixture on to the baking sheets a heaped teaspoon at a time, flattening slightly and leaving a clear inch between.

Bake on a high shelf for 12-15 minutes until mixture is bubbling and has darkened.

Remove and allow to set for a few minutes before cooling on a wire rack.

If desired, melt 150g dark chocolate and paint on to the smooth side of the cooled Florentines. Brush with a fork to get the distinctive pattern.

Austentatious

I use command hooks and fishing line. This year I'm making a sort of frame from willow branches that I will suspend using hooks and fishing line. Then I'm going to hang glass baubles from the branches. Hopefully it will camouflage the fixings a little better.

I've just pre-ordered Nigel Slater's The Christmas Chronicles to start things rolling. Though not sure what we are doing for Christmas this year. Normally am very firm about spending it at home but due to a bereavement in dh's family we may go to see them. We may rent a house near them & host Christmas Day but I can't even bear to think about the logistics right now.

Ah, this is good. 💐to badger, hope Me Badger is coping ok.

I'm popping my poncing cherry this year & found lots on this thread already, have also bought the Sarah raven book for £3.05 on eBay!

I do an advent activity every day with dc & very excited to do the pot snowman & fridge.

I went out yest to find any old cashmere jumper to make wristwarmers from, possibly for mil & found a lovely autograph one in the first charity shop I went in for £1.99-delighted!

Also delighted to get info on home made beeswax wrap-really wanted some for my bday but didn't get it & much better to be homemade-will do a trial and then may make as pressies if successful-it is on!

Lots to go back & look at Now on Pinterest.

Any other easy made presents/decs also good at this end. Usually not much time but I've 3 more weeks off sick so a little time to get organised 😀

I’ve just used some Jus Rol that I’d had languishing in the freezer to use up the mincemeat which didn’t fill a full jar. I shall report back later on taste.

There was enough pastry for 8 mince pies. 4 are my mincemeat and 4 are Sainsbury’s TTD. Hopefully I can tell the difference! 😂

Those mittens and socks are gorgeous. I crocheted some mini stockings last year and embroidered initials on the front of them to send as little tree decorations to a couple of my uni flatmates who I have a tradition with of sending each other a new tree decoration every year.

Mrs H that's so funny!

Buckeejit that's an amazing cashmere bargain! Those wrist warmers will be lovely.

I'm looking out my candle making kit later, DH is watching a film and I'm going to be very chilled AND productive!

I've scroll thru and can't see link to Dec's hanging from Beijing

Third? Fourth? Poncetastic Christmas thread stalking for me!

I like the idea of a ponce. I plan for a ponce. I may even pre-ponce in august/September time. Then the reality of teaching and working 50+ hours a week takes over and we are left with the same Christmas we always have.

It's always lovely at least, and I enjoy these threads immensely.

Ponce on!

I am the same moo, I always plan to. I always buy the magazine and choose which couple of things I'm going to do, but then life gets in the way! Starting early this year though, which hopefully does mean I'll do some. I've made cards with my little ds, and today have begun making my grown ups cards. I'll need to do another batch. I've half done some tree decs but they need hooks glued to them. I'm also saving jars ( have a dowe egburts? Coffee jar plus others) because I would like to do those snow scenes using white paper and led tea lights in a big cluster outside my front door, it in the hall. I'd like to use up all my craft materials rather than buy new as well, I have so many bits. A lot was bought in my old house though so doesn't match my new colours so I might end up getting rid.

I have a traditional wooden sledge which I pulled from a skip, which next week is my project- I'm going to sand it all back and stain it, although not sure what colour yet, or what I'll eventually do with it. Suggestions welcome!

So have started to crochet stars to make a christmas bunting (can do a star in about an hour), have decided on green/red/glittery white.

Need to get back to cross stitch but work keeps getting in the way!

How have I not found you all before now!???!!!?????

I will sit and peruse the full thread at lunch. Making a list as I go!

Sigh- I had really hoped to do better at the poncing this year as I finally have the children down earlyish at night. But I am about 7 weeks pregnant with DC3 and have that totally crushing tiredness that means come 7.30 I need my bed too! I know it will pass in a few weeks, but this is the best time for poncing really.

Still today I am going to sort out little crafty room out so we can start making Christmas cards and gift bags in the afternoon. Though where the children are involved nothing is really Pinterest worthy, but we will have fun and people enjoy receiving things. the house will be covered in glitter by this time next week

I am also glad a couple of you like the beeswax cling film idea. I pinned a while ago with the idea of giving as Christmas gifts. If anyone does try it can you show me pictures? I must get around to ordering supplies.