Really REALLY want to give good presents this year!!

[BendydickCuminsnatch]

Starting to buy now because DC2 due in Nov - and I always feel I leave it too late anyway. I find it so hard buying for people and hate giving and receiving things just for the sake of it, things that clearly haven't had any thought put into them. How do you find things that will be really appreciated? It's so hard.

On DH's side it's easier as only buy for nieces, not BIL & SIL, and DH sorts his parents' presents.

But on my side, I don't know why I find it so hard! There are so many people to buy for, too. I know it's an impossible question to ask on here because none of you know who I'm going to buy for, but I'd love some tips on how to be a perfect gift giver???

If only everyone was a child, I would be sorted. Kids are so lovely and easy to buy for. Bah!

I keep a spreadsheet of what I've bought for people over the years so I remember what went down well

I try and tie into their hobbies. So sil1
Likes crochet and Star Wars so I've got her preordered the Star Wars crochet book

Another one who has a spreadsheet, I add to it during the year if someone says they're interested in something, esp if it's not obvious/something that comes up often. Eg, for some reason we were talking about flowers and one of my friends said she loved the scent of lilac but she could never get any to grow/lilac scented things so I had time to search for that. She was impressed as it was a throw away comment months before. So now I spreadsheet everything and work from that list.

I have really cut back. I give shoe vouchers to nieces and nephews. Dh - I usually buy him something for his hobby (I check what he has googled for and he loved it!!! )

Others - luxury versions of stuff. If the like gin then Hendericks etx

If they like gin, I buy hendericks sorry for typo

As you have so many people on your side. Is there any way of scaling it down? Perhaps float the idea of children only, with your DC2 due this year, it's the perfect reason. Maybe people you have not seen so much this year can agree to stop exchanging gifts. Chances are they feel under the same pressure.

I do keep a notebook of what I gave people last year but not ideas throughout the year, that would be a good idea, silly me.

I don't have that many people on my side and my kids are the only kids. Everyone always goes to my parents'. It's not really that many people, just there's literally only 4 adults on DH's side (2 of whom we're not buying for). My side is:

My grandparents x4 - did 2x hampers for last 2 years so don't feel I can do that again! All in their 80s. All like gardening but don't really do it any more.
My parents x 2
Sister
BIL
Various aunts and great aunts (can probably easily not buy for these people but I feel awkward because I know my sister will)
Then various friends who I know will get me something.

My dad just works all the time so no real hobbies and my mum is a bit easier but all she wants is Protect & Perfect anti ageing stuff and I don't want to buy JUST that for her!

I'll definintely get thinking, thanks for the suggestions. I've been trawling achica already, probably should go to some actual shops too!

We do a secret Santa for the adults in my family for this reason.
It's so much easier than trying to find something for £10/20 for every adult. Especially as my Uncle would always spend way more on everyone then pull faces about his presents!

We just set a limit of £50, draw names a couple of weeks before and just have one awkward adult to buy for.

I keep a diary (for day to day stuff and recording my weight ) and use the notes page at the back to jot down when people mention things (e.g. DH moaned about not getting to see enough rugby so am getting him a season ticket to local team, DM was admiring a scarf that her friends granddaughter had made so I'm crocheting her one).

I would also only take the time to get thoughtful gifts for people who do the same. There's nothing more disheartening than spending time picking the perfect present to just get a random bottle of perfume / toiletries set in return (yes I know you're not supposed to give to receive but it's still rubbish).

For grandparents, could you maybe cultivate an inside plant then give them that (along with a little kit) for them grow things inside somewhere they can sit comfortably?

There's nothing more disheartening than spending time picking the perfect present to just get a random bottle of perfume / toiletries set in return (yes I know you're not supposed to give to receive but it's still rubbish). Glad you said that, I feel the same way That's why we don't give to BIL & SIL.

Thanks for the tips!

I have a page on 'noted' on my phone. When I'm with someone and they say "Oh I'd love one of those!" etc I put it on the list under their name. Then when its birthdays/christmas I just go to the list and get something off it.
I put myself on the list too!
having a look at the list-my bf was over one evening and raving at mt max Benjamin candle, so she will be getting that.
Eldest DS has often spoken about an electric blanket.
My nearly 5yo has mentioned wanting the 'Little Miss' books, so they will be in his sack.
If I had to think up on the spot stuff they would get shite!!

National trust pass for the grandparents if they're still fit enough to get about?

I like use-able gifts rather than things- so for a couple I might get a cinema voucher for a film plus some sweets and a tub of popcorn (pound shop often has these tubs- 🍿 )
Or a bottle of wine and a DVD or Netflix months voucher for a few date nights.
Or hand warmers, poo bags and cosy knitwear for a dog lover.
Or garden centre vouchers in a plant pot with some new gardening gloves for a gardener.
Or a bird table or fat ball thingy for birds. Plus seed and/or fat balls.
A his n hers magazine subscription for a couple.

Just some of my previous years adult pressies. 🎅🏻

Some great ideas from @Isadora. Sounds like RSPB and National Trust websites might be useful to you for the older generation. You could go with a theme and get people similar things? Magazine subscriptions always popular here, and you can get some good deals with Clubcard vouchers.

There are all sorts of subscriptions now. I got DB a sock subscription last year and he loved it. A different pair of socks sent to him each month.

I have about 6 female friends or relatives to buy token gifts for so I'm thinking a book and Christmassy chocolate. The book might be something significant from this year, a prizewinner or something that I associate with them this year eg I went to see Sue Perkins with 2 friends this year so will get her book for themselves. The Monty Don book about the dog went down well with my mum.
I realise I am prone to buying things I like and I would much rather a book and some chocolate than toiletries.

How about a raised bed, or arranging a "man" to make one for the gardeners - so they can still potter without bending down? Or a nice windowbox that they can enjoy without much effort involved? Or vouchers for a gardener to come in and help them with spring cleanouts?

Aunts and great-aunts - I presume you are thinking something small enough for those? Maybe something like the book mentioned, or similar small hampers for each of a nice mug, favourite biscuits and a favourite hot drink (if you know them - some might be tea or coffee people but others prefer Horlicks or hot chocolate)?

Does your DF do anything to relax? Like a crossword, good book, watching certain tv programmes or going to movies/theatre?

Would he and your DM go on a weekend away together, or a night out? Could you and DSis club together on that?

Sorry, drawing a blank on ideas for DSis and DBIL without anything to go on.

But yes, a page in a notebook to jot down things people comment on that they like or don't like is a great idea.

Last Christmas we got a grandparent a bird feeder and associated paraphernalia. She loved it and really enjoys going out to refill it then sitting back and enjoying all the visitors to it.

Thanks for the ideas folks, it's been really helpful. The ideas are starting to flow now!

DH will be getting a compact umbrella (as well as other things) as he refuses to put his hood up and often walks through the door dripping wet

DDad is a bugger to buy for really, but we went to San Francisco years ago when I was 10 and found a whole shop of amazing kaleidoscopes, really stunning, and we spent ages looking at the all, and he nearly bought one but thought better of it. DH just mentioned that I was trying to find him one last year, so now I have a few months to track one down. Think it's just the kind of objet he'd be into.

I realised I gave 1 set of grandparents a hedgehog house last year, not a hamper, so maybe I'll do a hamper again. They were all genuinely delighted as they all say they don't want 'stuff' but things they can use up and enjoy, so there you go. I just feel unimaginitive!

We were watching TV recently and saw a recipe book full of recipes from movies eg Butterbeer from Harry Potter, stuff from Lord of the Rings etc, so that will fit my sister well I hope.

I definitely fall into the trap of giving things I'd like to receive! Which isn't very thoughtful really I guess.