Can't be arsed with Christmas

[hairymuffet]

Is it just me?
As I get older I can't be bothered
I used to love it all
The excitement, shopping, wrapping
Putting up the tree
I'm putting the tree up today and I can't be arsed with any of it

does anybody feel this forced sparkly magic time thing actually accentuates their misery. Perhaps if we were just ledy to quietly go about our business we might all have better MH

left

'does anybody feel this forced sparkly magic time thing actually accentuates their misery'

Yes Could not agree more. Its all so pukey. I know some people genuinely love it, but why do we all have to get excited about the same stuff FFS? If you say you can't bear Christmas, some people look at you like you just said you enjoy stomping on kittens. Particularly tough if you're skint, grieving, depressed, fed up or similarly struggling

Oh god yes to accentuating misery and indeed increasing it.

I cycled through central London early evening last week, and felt utterly dismal at the number of shoppers literally tripping over people on the streets or begging so that they could buy overpriced shite. Which is probably made by children somewhere in another part of the world or, best case scenario, adults who are being ruthlessly exploited.

Really, really can't feel the magic of this!

I can understand mixed emotions around this time of year. Loss, bad health, family issues etc which are brought into focus.

However, as a child who grew up with a miserable bastard of a father at Christmas, I'll be damned if my children will suffer the same.

It doesn't have to be over the top consumerism. You don't have to 'do' newer traditions. I don't do Elf on the Shelf or Christmas Eve hampers. It's about mood, some chosen traditions which your family enjoy - it's about the children when they are young.

My father hated Christmas, and he didn't hide it. Ruined it with angry sulks and rows. Made me feel guilty about my presents. Huffed at anything he was bought. Was disdainful of any kind of indulgence.

Don't get me wrong, there are parts of it, I'm not keen on. But I've just focused on what counts.

I'm estranged from my father now and I refuse to traipse round visiting anyone I don't want to. Christmas presents are budgeted but quality and thoughtful. I also dislike behavior bribery which winds children up. Mine have always been reassured that there will be a filled stocking under the tree. They don't need to 'be good' because they are inherently good.

random "does anybody feel this forced sparkly magic time thing actually accentuates their misery"

yup.

I really enjoy stomping on kittens....just off to look for a few now. Bah Humbug.

I think the news this year has been particulary gruelling and yet we are all supposed to morph into sparkly jolly folk for 24 hours.
Its 2. 30 and dark here. I was thinking of going to see something light weight at the theatre but I don't know if I can bring myself to step over people en route to the show.

randomer, yes, I have that problem as well. I find the time goes a lot faster if you can stay home and watch box sets and I always want December to go as fast as possible.

shortest day in 2 weeks ish. Then in January snowdrops will come out.

I will put a happy face on this year because as I said upthread, pretty sure it will be the last one Xmas for the olds and it's important to them, though I still don't know why, I will indulge them. But I hope to be home by Boxing Day night at which point I will sit under my sofa blanket and think of spring

Randomer

Absolutely grim weather in London too. Dull, damp and cold. Totally grey. Yuck

x post lotta - yes, major dreich here.

shal we do a virtual Pagan thing on the 21st?

Just a word in favour of the Elf which we've done for the first time this year. It's actually taken a great deal of planning to come up with inventive things for it to do every day (I am definitely not lazy!), and DD has loved looking for it every morning. We certainly don't do it to keep a check on her usually excellent behaviour, but it's a nice run-up to Christmas.

Hugs to everyone not enjoying this time of year. I love it, but others in my family don't and never have, and I can see and sympathise with both sides of the argument.

I've been really struggling this year with the idea of Christmas. Perversely the less festive I've felt the more angry and uptight I've become because I want to feel it. I have found though that since putting our tree up on Saturday I've felt much more upbeat and festive.

I still love it but I could do without it starting in October
I don't like some of the new stuff. WTAF are christmas eve boxes? More stuff people need to buy. Also don't like the elf thing.

random "shal we do a virtual Pagan thing on the 21st?"

I'm in! I normally have a glass of bubbly to celebrate that, just me, desperately waiting for the days to get longer while others faff with Xmas things and I wonder what the heck they're on about.

I just spoke to my best mate who I saw on Sat. I joked I was missing her already but honestly the days are just crawling at this time so I feel like it was too long ago (also tbh stress over my mum's health isn't helping). But yes, it's weird, June goes by quicker than a flash and I spend the whole of December dragging along thinking "are we out of the woods yet....are we in the clear yet..."!!!

It helps me to try to just pick the bits I like. We have gnomes rather than elves, couldn't find elves last year. They just have fun around the house at night, kids love them. occasionally we forget about them and have to jump up in the night and sort them out! They aren't tied into behaviour at all.
That said the shops and crazy piles of stuff are rather shocking after a few years living abroad in a much less commercial country. I am pleased to get back to mince pies tho!

I don't like any bits. Being forced to use annual leave pisses me off too but increasingly offices close.

Ooh this thread is therapeutic.

I agree. It is a lot of work and we only spend it with adults. I feel it is more for kids. Bah humbug.

Spring, I only spend mine with adults but thank fuck for that, squeeing kids would send me over the edge any day, but on Xmas Day, blimey, I'd lose my rag.

Another day of foul grey weather here in London. yesterday I went a bit blank and couldn't tell the difference between the day time and the sun setting!!

'does anybody feel this forced sparkly magic time thing actually accentuates their misery'

Yup yup and triple yup! I'm resigned to the unbearable torment of Christmas Day onwards. But I've also realised I love December and the build up anyway. I used to get upset about the lie of the build up which made the awfulness even worse by comparison... but now I'm trying to be more sanguine about the whole thing.

The emphasis being on 'trying'

Trying to be ok and accepting of the reality, that advent belongs to me and I can get joy and love out of those days. And Christmas Day onwards is my personal hell and I need to focus on respiring and other very basic survival needs. Get through it for DS. That's it really. Through the hell of my 'mother' visiting. And the physical, mental, emotional strain having that woman near me, whilst trying to give DS ok memories of Christmas when I have Her to deal with, and no carers, and loads to do like Christmas dinner which is way beyond my physical abilities but I do anyway. And eventually it will pass and I can look forwards to the anniversary of my fathers death, the anniversary of my sisters death and my sisters birth day all within days of each other. It's the time of year when the balance of having things to live for and wanting to end this hell tips and I have to try and get to the other side of this awful annual hell which feels like it will never end. Keep reminding myself that it will end, and that at some point I will be able to start healing again. Bleugh.

It's like some cruel ritual where we anticipate with growing excitement the sheer hell that follows. Thinking about it this would be much more suited to Easter! Definitely a death ritual not a birth one...

Lorelei, I agree about the kids - I'm very glad that I spend Xmas day with adults too. At least you have some chance of having peace and quiet at some point

And yes, the weather is absolutely foul in London again today. Today and yesterday have been the greyest days I can remember for a long time. Forecast says that the sun will be out tomorrow though

anybody obsessing about extra light after the 21st??? I think its 4 seconds.

oh randomer, I feel your pain.

tbh I don't tend to obsess but at the end of Jan I start pointing it out to everyone who will listen!

Misc, my parents didn't really fuss about Xmas dinner till I was a teen. Frankly I preferred the days where there was no fuss. Please don't make yourself ill, I think there's no way to guarantee happy memories of Xmas anyway. If you are religious then it's about something else totally and if you are just thinking of the fuss that people make for kids - well how long does that last? Def not worth wearing yourself out over this

also i have just been helping out at a project and gave somebody a tin opener so they can open and eat tins of cold food before they " sleep" in a disused factory.

A BLOODY TIN OPENER

My colleague was whinging today because she spent all weekend baking for Christmas.

I just said "WHY?"

I've ordered everyone a small present off Amazon, wrapped it as it's arrived and we're going to the pub for Christmas dinner.

Job done.

I think people put too much stress on themselves. It's just one day.