Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

mil and Christmas

81 replies

buttercup54321 · 09/10/2016 22:12

MIL rang to say she will be arriving on 21st December and staying until 4th January so she can help with new baby (due 14th December) and organise Christmas in our house! DH took the call and thanked his DM. He hasn't stopped banging on all evening about how marvellous she is!
FIL will only stay until 27th December as he has to get back to his elderly father, but of course the dog ( a jack Russell that yaps) will be staying on with her.
Apparently my family can pop over for a couple of hours on Christmas day if they like but really visitors need to be kept to a minimum with a new baby around .
I am in a massive sulk but DH cant understand why. If I speak to her I shall be very rude so I'm trying to calm down. DH is now calling her a sweetie. I feel evil.
AIBU?

OP posts:

bookgirl1982 · 10/10/2016 07:41

Last year I was due to give birth on 16th December. Baby arrived on the 30th!

I was so hormonal from due date onwards I refused to see anyone but DH.

Put your foot down now!

flapjackfairy · 10/10/2016 07:43

I also would not have a dog(esp a yappy one) around my newborn. You could use this excuse(not that you need one to say no).
By the way all the best people are born on dec 14 . Thats my bday! Ha ha

Bellyrub1980 · 10/10/2016 08:16

Yes! The dog is the get out clause here. MIL is one thing (rude to invite her self but still potentially helpful - although I'd much prefer my own mum) a DOG on the other hand?! I like dogs, as in when I see one I'll give it a pat and say hello, but I would never ever ever allow a dog to enter the house when my baby was a newborn. For so many reasons.

MIL will more than likely say you're being precious and ridiculous, but who cares! I'd rather her think that than have a dog waking my newborn.

You could fake an allergy to dogs maybe??!

TinyTear · 10/10/2016 08:33

a dog and a newborn? not happening...

Sparkletastic · 10/10/2016 08:34

Give it to DH with both barrels OP. And a polite declination to MIL through gritted teeth if he can't be trusted to do it.

AnnaT45 · 10/10/2016 08:39

I was due on the 15th Dec. Ended up having baby on 27th and coming home home 31st!
I really don't think she should be imposing herself with the dog! Tell your DH you've been thinking about it and the support would be better after baby is here and he is back at work. Then see how you feel at that time. Her intentions are good but she's too pushy. You need to be in control of that as you'll be feeling out of control in lots of other aspects! Good luck, and I hope you don't go as over as me!

Mymouthgetsmeintrouble · 10/10/2016 08:43

Yes mil i agree that visitors should be kept to a minimum so heres the details of a local hotel , not sure they accept dogs so probably best to put the dog in kennels , thankyou for your offer to cook dinner , what time shall i tell my parents that dinner is being served , thankyou so much its such a thoughtful offer and means i can rest so soon after having baby

GinIsIn · 10/10/2016 08:44

Oh god I feel your pain - my DM lives abroad and is planning on moving in with us FOR A MONTH once the baby gets here. She keeps saying it will be fine. I have pointed out to her that every time she ever comes to stay she moans that DH's snoring keeps her awake, and that our house isn't clean enough, and that we aren't vegan and a baby isn't magically going to change all that, but so far she keeps insisting she wont mind and will help.

QueenofallIsee · 10/10/2016 11:59

Get it sorted OP, you know you have to tackle it yourself if you husband won't

liquidrevolution · 10/10/2016 12:14

You will have to nip this in the bud now or she will forever be like this.

2kids2dogsnosense · 10/10/2016 13:16

Anyone who you are not comfortable with sitting in front of with your tits out should not be staying with you when you've just had a baby

This ^^^^

Totally this!

Davros · 10/10/2016 13:31

Don't use the dog as an excuse, she may be so desperate to take over that she'll agree to leave it behind. Rehearse your call and stay firm. NO!

Original poster

buttercup54321 · 10/10/2016 17:13

MIL. FIL and the dog are not coming for Christmas!!!!!
Took some of your great advice and told DH at 6.am (having been too angry to sleep much last night}that it's just not happening and if he hadnt cancelled the Christmas visit by 2pm today, he would be at home alone with them for company.
Anyway MIL rang at 4pm and said she is so sorry I am not well and that should rest as much as possible until the baby is at least 6 weeks old.. God knows what he has told her. I don't actually care!
The Christmas visit is cancelled as, given the circumstances {???}, she agrees a quiet Christmas would be better for me. She has already told her unmarried sister that they will be keeping her company, although she is a bit worried about the dog as her sister's cat is spiteful Lol.
Mil said they will visit when I feel ready, but not until! I am ecstatic and DH need not sleep on the sofa again tonight.
As I said before, she is quite nice usually, and I do understand that she is excited about the baby. They can come for a visit and stay elsewhere once the baby is here.
Now I just need to find out what is supposed to be wrong with me lol.

OP posts:

Pickled0nions · 10/10/2016 17:19

Well done! Your MIL actually sounds very reasonable and that's nice of her to apologise and see it from your point of view :)

My MIL would of turned up regardless of our feelings because she's a bossy cow like that. That's pretty much the reason we haven't spoken to her for 5 months now

Bogglechops · 10/10/2016 17:26

Result! That must be a weight off your shoulders. Very curious as to what your hubs said to her (so I can get mine to have the same convo with his mum)

girlywhirly · 10/10/2016 17:26

Raised blood pressure. (Although not pregnancy induced, MIL induced anger! But don't tell her the last bit!)

GloopyGhoul · 10/10/2016 17:28

Your husband has redeemed himself spectacularly. He could write a book and flog it to all the other husbands.

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 · 10/10/2016 17:32

Congratulations!
May you be an example to all wimp dil's on mn!!
And an early Merry Christmas!!

Star2015 · 10/10/2016 17:32

SO pleased it's sorted and a weight if your shoulders.. Hope the mystery illness clears up!!

rollonthesummer · 10/10/2016 17:36

Ha ha! Am dying to know what your DH told her-it sounds like she thinks you are on the verge of a breakdown!

Bellyrub1980 · 10/10/2016 17:51

Yay! Well done. Although I'm intrigued about what illness you e been predicted to have!

Bellyrub1980 · 10/10/2016 17:52

Oh!! Lol!

Bogglechops · 10/10/2016 17:57

Maybe it's something contagious..

justgivemeamo · 10/10/2016 18:35

so she can help with new baby (due 14th December) and organise Christmas in our house!

did you want help? I cant think of anything worse !!
how rude to tell you she is coming, its different if this is your dm but its not.

justgivemeamo · 10/10/2016 18:36

I never read the thread well done op.

Flip

1 2 3 4