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Original poster

Is a meaningful present no good if you have to explain it?

20 replies

StealingSleep · 11/12/2015 14:23

So, they open the present, and say wtf? Then you explain and hopefully they then say, awww, how sweet...

Or does it only work if they open it up and know exactly why it's meaningful straight away?

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MarkRuffaloCrumble · 11/12/2015 14:51

I'd thoughtfulness needs to be obvious or it kind of misses the point! What is it?

I made DP a scrapbook with lots of references to things we both loved, our first date etc. When he opened it he thought it was just a notebook and made a mental note to regift it to his grandad. It was only when he opened it that he realised what it was, but I think if I'd had to explain what all the pages meant it would have lost some of its appeal!

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 11/12/2015 14:52

I'd say

Original poster
StealingSleep · 11/12/2015 16:17

It's a print inspired by a song that was around at the time we got engaged, we both liked the song, though it's possible it means more to me than him.

So it would have to go, 'you know, like [that song], it made me cry that time because I was so happy to be getting married to you...'

(I don't think he'd actually say the words 'aww, that's sweet', that was more for the purposes of explaining what I meant in the OP.)

Sounds a bit rubbish now I write about it on here. It's a nice print, if that makes a difference.

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MarkRuffaloCrumble · 11/12/2015 17:13

ah that sounds lovely. Will it say what the song is on it, or is it just the lyrics? I have songs like that, ones which I noticed playing at certain times but DP probably didn't. I think in this case as it's a nice print anyway, not some random object that requires an explanation, then it will be fine!

expatbaby · 11/12/2015 17:25

Depends on whether he's the type of person who would like something sentimental like that. I do think though, if your not sure he'll get it and if he asks what you would like, then suggest it for yourself.

expatbaby · 11/12/2015 17:26

*you're (shouldn't be typing and watching TV at the same time)

Optimist1 · 11/12/2015 17:36

Surely you can write something on the gift tag (Apparently this is inspired by which always makes me think of you) to point him in the right direction? It sounds like a lovely gift, BTW!

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 11/12/2015 17:46

My gut feeling is that this is a present for you, not him. You'll like it because it has sentimental value, but the song means more to you than him.

I'd buy the print and hang it anyway, and tell him why it's special, but get a present that he'll actually appreciate for himself for Christmas.

missmargot · 11/12/2015 17:58

My first thought was the same as Anchor, it's a lovely idea but probably for you as a couple rather than a present for him.

Original poster
StealingSleep · 11/12/2015 18:57

I'm sorted for Christmas, it's just him that's bloomin' impossible to buy for. But you're right, it's more for me than for him. I'll keep looking.

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missmargot · 11/12/2015 19:49

You have my sympathies, I whooped for joy this year when I noticed that DH's wallet was looking frayed as it meant I had something to buy him.

What are his likes and dislikes and how much are you looking to spend?

MooseAndSquirrel · 11/12/2015 20:30

No sometime I have to explain my random thinking, best mates last present seemed very random. I started my thought process and she got it and loved it (the present and the thought)
Now and again it'll get mentioned that she's using it and how lovely I am stealth boast on my awesome present buying
So I dont think it means less if explained

TheTigerIsOut · 11/12/2015 21:03

I don't know... Without trying to do generalisations, men are incomprehensible beings: Last year I wanted a meaningful gift, so I told him I wanted something that I couldn't wear, I couldn't eat and I didn't need... He got me a glider flight.

This year I insisted but now spelled it, M E A N I N G F U L, I think I really put the poor soul in difficulties, after 2 weeks racking his brain trying to think of something meaningful he may like, he embarrasedly accepted that he wanted... a pair of riding boots. Hmm

CakeNinja · 11/12/2015 21:03

I don't necessarily think it's meaningless if it needs explaining but I agree, it's sentimental and probably means more to you than to him.
Would be nice to have it though as it holds such a special meaning to you, so get it anyway but as a household purchase?

janaus · 11/12/2015 23:19

I have made my DH a Date Night box. One date says ... Go back to the place we got engaged .... Another says ... Our favourite restaurant when we were dating. .. Can't wait to see if he remembers. Other things I included were movie vouchers, etc.

Fizrim · 11/12/2015 23:28

Janaus how will you feel if he doesn't remember? I am far more sentimental than my DH so would be unlikely to do something like this that was based on shared experiences. Now if I did one based around a motorbike that he'd owned I'm sure he could get nostalgic about that Xmas Hmm

I do agree that men can be tricky to buy for. I was determined to get stocking fillers for me and DH this year, my pile is large but his is still a work in progress Xmas Blush

CakeNinja · 11/12/2015 23:50

janaus what if he doesn't remember? It's either going to go swimmingly (obviously good) or it won't and it will be awkward. It seems like a test. Why not just suggest a meal where you got engaged without making him jump through hoops to get there?
So much scope for it to go wrong and for you to feel let down.
Obviously I hope it goes well, just seems risky!

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 14/12/2015 11:34

This is a good advert for my scrapbook idea - if you fill it in with pages about all the places you've been and the dates of special events etc he's got no excuse for forgetting later on!

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 14/12/2015 11:46

Just flipping through it now, it has a couple of pages about our first date, one about a new favourite chocolate bar he discovered with lots of quotes about chocolate, song lyrics (by The XX) from the night he says he properly fell for me, photos and bits from theatre programmes from when he first took me away for the weekend, in-jokes about films we watched, some horoscope guff about how well matched we are, valentines cards, recipes that I made for him, a joke from a TV show he loves, some holiday snaps, a menu from one of his fave restaurants with his every fucking time usual order, a joke alluding to a big argument we had (it's not all sweetness! But we both find it funny)

He loves his book and every birthday when he can't think of anything else he wants, he just asks me to put a couple of pages in the book for him. It takes a bit of time, but costs nothing.

Is a meaningful present no good if you have to explain it?
Original poster
StealingSleep · 20/12/2015 14:05

Thought I'd update this thread. DH came up with something he wanted so I've got him that. But earlier today he put on an album by the band in question so I mentioned my idea to him. He immediately got the significance of the song and likes the print so we're getting it for ourselves anyway Grin

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