Christmas with teens and tweens

[JemimaMuddledUp]

DC are 9, 11 and 13. This is the first year that none of them believe in Santa. Eldest is filled with hormones and in full on eye rolling stage.

How can I make Christmas a lovely family time?

My four children are all in their early to mid 20s. They all come for Christmas and I still get them a Christmas stocking and a pressie from Santa. Always have. The hormones, the eye rolling and the deep sighs from when they were younger teenagers always disappeared on Christmas Day as they eagerly opened their stocking. I also have foster children so most years have someone here who believes in Santa and so my adult children join in the fun. Christmas is also the only time we sit down together and play board games. And the only time they can be children again themselves.

Have a lovely Christmas.

Christmas in my house last year was horrific

The teenage eye rolling turned into a massive strop, every minute there was something different that was wrong
I sent the day wondering what I had done to produce such a massively spoilt brat

The answer was nothing, what I actually had on my hands was a teenager who was beginning to show the beginnings of a mental health disorder -Christmas was a massive source of anxiety which manifested itself in verbally aggressive outbursts

I'm obviously not saying that all teenage behaviour is something to be concerned about but please don't subject them to enforced family 'fun'

Have things available like board games (we sat on Boxing Day, once the pressure was off, and played monopoly for several hours) but have no expectations about people joining in

Its a horrible feeling mine are 9, 11, 13 and 14 and my youngest has said she my eldest she does not believe in Santa but she was told he is real so this is the last year. Only my youngest has wanted to do anything to do with the christmas tree this year. I feel really sad.

I'm so glad its not just me!

The DS2 (11) will go to midnight mass for the first time this year, so he is quite excited about that as a marker of "growing up".

Christmas Day will be spent with DH's parents, which will be a bit difficult. DS2's main present is an Xbox, but there won't be any chance to play with it until Boxing Day. Also they won't be able to watch Doctor Who as it clashes with teatime. DH's parents are in the 80s and tend to forget that the DC are growing up.

I'm hoping to make Boxing Day more about them, after a day of keeping the grandparents happy. Lie in, brunch of bacon rolls and hash browns, go to watch the local rugby derby in the afternoon, buffet food for dinner followed by a DVD. Plus plenty of time to play with the new xbox. I'd like to get the board games out too, but I won't force anything. Same goes for a walk.

Just go with the flow, Christmases won't ever be what they were when your dcs were little. We have had a few ropey hours but not yet had a full day ruined.

Don't force it, there is nothing worse to a teenager than been made to join in. I have in the past got a board game out and asked DH to play, before we have finished setting up the teens usually are asking to join in. Had I asked them if they wanted to play a board game I would have been met with an eye roll.

I remember throwing roast potatoes at my Dsis over Christmas lunch in pure rage. She also knocked my out with a commodore 64. So my perfect Christmas expectations are probably starting at a pretty low point. 😄

I'm by no means an expert (DS is 11 and an only child) but I have found it easier to have clear expectations well in advance.

So for example, I expect attendance at the local carol service (at the pub!) and church on Christmas morning. The rest of it is purely a bonus IMO. I also expect that he will be polite and make an effort to spend time with his GP's (he is an only GC as well so the festive season is quite profitable for him. The least he can do is to make the effort to be part of the family celebrations in return)

I think by setting things out in advance he knows he will have time to hole up in his room on his Xbox at some point in the proceedings.

Have had another idea - booked tickets to see Star Wars at the big, chain cinema in our nearest big town. We live in the sticks and don't have chain cinemas, only little independents. This is great, however chain cinemas are a bit more "cool" when you are a teenager. We will combine this with some shopping in big chain shops (we don't have those either) and probably lunch in a chain restaurant like Pizza Express or Frankie and Benny's (again, we don't have these). Just hoping the weather improves for the 3hr round trip!

We are in a similar position this year - our dc's are 10 and 15 and although we are at my parents for Christmas (which will be awful as 2 of my siblings are currently not talking!) this is the first year we will be spending boxing day all alone, just the 4 of us. I think we'll probably get the cards or a board game out and I'll let the kids choose what they want for dinner on that day. I find it sad that the "child" phase of Christmas is over for us (until we get grand kids - ekkkkkkk, I'm not even 35 yet!!!) but hopefully we can build some new family traditions that are more grown up.