Present buying etiquette for the newly separated...

[shouldIjustputupwithit]

DH and I are separately (wahay!) he hasn't left yet but should be in two weeks. I have said he can spend Christmas Day here (we have two children). What is present buying etiquette? Do I get him a small gift from me? Part of me things no you are an arse and you don't deserve a bloody gift from me. But the other part of me thinks it would be nice for the children to see I'm not bitter (I am but that is another story) and give a small gift?

I was just going to buy him something from the children but mine are so young they won't clock

Don't waste your money is my advice my dear get him a photo of the children in a nice frame and wrap it up , 2 reasons nothing better to give him and what a kick in the guts just saying (didn't realise l was so nasty ) he's a lucky man for you to have him on Xmas day you have a good heart my dear x

No don't buy him a present from you. It's nothing to do with being bitter - you are no longer a couple and it would be inappropriate. Buy him something small on behalf of the DCs and give him that.

I'm recently separated, we won't be spending Christmas together but I will buy him a small gift from the children. I would feel uncomfortable buying something from me but that might just be our situation.

Just something from the children definitely

I'd buy him something fairly unsentimental and impersonal from the childrn. You don't want any weeping and wailing and cries of we've-made-a-dreadful-mistake, because he's been so touched by your perfect and thoughtful gift.

I think anyone you see on Christmas Day should have something to open. Photo from the children and box of chocs from you.

If you are undecided, you could have a box of roses stashed upstairs and only bring it out if he's brought a gift for you.

We were in this position this time last year. I 'enabled 'the children to get him something. He didn't do the same for me, which I knew he wouldn't, so I had sorted that too. He did, however, give me some trendily flavoured chocolate, which if he knew me at all he would have known I'd have hated. Says it all, really. I said thanks and binned it later.

This will be the first Christmas we've been officially apart, but for his birthday I gave ds more £ than I usually would, so he could take him out for lunch.