Anyone fancy a Christmas song/film AIBU?

[Ohwhatfuckeryitistoride]

Aibu to report my boss? Not only am I working Christmas day but he is now dragging me out in the jeffing snow to play Lord bloomin bountiful. I'm only wee, deep and crisp and even is ok for him, but it's coming up to my nose. (Oh yeah, child labour-definitely needs reporting for that)

Am I being unreasonable NOT to smile at this kid? He has tagged along with some v important visitors who have brought me some amazing presents. He, on the other hand, just wants to play a drum solo for me. Great!

AIBU to think it's bloody unfair that my colleagues only like me now that I'm useful? I mean FFS, they've ignored me for YEARS and then when the boss realises he can take advantage of my shiny nose everyone suddenly loves me.

AIBU to think that DP and I are in a deeply unhealthy relationship and I should probably LTB? We got together very young and he swept me off my feet, told me I could do or be anything I wanted. As the years have gone on though we've grown apart and things are difficult, we fall out a lot, the arguments often descending into name calling and petty squabbles. DP drinks and gambles and has been arrested more than once after having one too many, things yend to come to a head at this time of year for some reason! But every time it all gets too much he tells me he loves me still and he can't be without me and I end up staying.

Now, I like unusual gifts, but dp has totally overdone it. The amount of bloody livestock now in my backyard is crazy (sure the rspca can't manage them all) and now I have 140 people hanging about making a right racket. The only decent thing was some jewellry (but why 5 of the same thing?) Aibu to ltb and get the bling on eBay?

AIBU to not want to marry a young couple who want me to pretend I am Parson Brown? I'm sure it's not legal to impersonate a parson and I feel a bit put out that they only built me so that they could ask me to do this for them?

WIBU to go to a tribunal about this? I started working for the government in a pretty high up position, and thought I was getting on quite well with my boss (although he was a bit over-friendly, asking me about boyfriends and stuff, and I did get in hot water by swearing on my first day). But then one day out of the blue I find myself demoted to a much lower position in a different location with no explanation whatsoever. The only sense I can get from anyone is something about me being a "distraction", which seems like a totally unjustifiable reason to get rid of someone in this day and age!

Aibu to leave my DH? We have been together for 15 years and then suddenly out of the blue he announces that he has a long lost adult son. Now I am trying to be supportive but the young man has some serious mental health issues and a obsession with Christmas. I worry that his unhealthy obsession with sugar will rub off on my DS. So would I be unreasonable to Ltb??

In a total mess relationship-wise. I'm feeling really low because it's pretty much exactly a year since I had this really passionate fling- I thought it was the real thing, was totally committed. But then the very next day I caught the bastard cheating with someone else. I've been obsessing about him the whole intervening year of course, even "talking" to him even though he's not even in the room.

So now I think I've met someone new and I feel he's really special and I totally feel ready to give him my heart.