How do you feel if your gift isn't well received

[chanie44]

I shop for Xmas throughout the year. It works well for me as I can spread the cost and take advantage of offers etc.

A couple of weeks ago, sil asked for vouchers for DN as he has enough toys and she doesn't have the room. I said I'd already bought him a gift and told her what it was. It didn't take up much space so she seemed ok.

A couple of days ago, she said she wanted to exchange it as DN isn't interested in it. I told her that my ds has ripped the packaging. I didn't tell her it was on sale, so it was inlikely she could exchange it.

Now, im normally pragmatic about giving gifts and would much prefer to get something that someone wants, even if it means giving cash. However, I'm quite annoyed at sil and I don't know why.

I told Oh that I was annoyed and he pointed out to me that im always exchanging things given to the children.

How do you feel when you give a gift that doesn't go down well?

I think your sil is very rude. My relatives aren't rude enough to complain about a gift.

Your sisters attitude misses the whole point of Christmas. In your shoes I think I would be inclined to say that next year you no longer wish to exchange gifts.

I have been hurt by getting it wrong but I've also exchanged things. I think your sil knows you got it in the sale or thinks it's re-gifted.

i think the problem with shopping ahead for children is that they can change quite quickly and what they may have liked in May isn't what they may like 6 months later.

Personally i would have said nothing to you but then just given it away after xmas if my dc didn't play with it.

What did you buy?

I once bought my niece a pink fluffy dressing gown in a slightly bigger size thinking she will grow into it and was told by my sil that 'she already has one of those, one that actually fits her so you'll have to take it back'. My niece had already put it on and whimpered as it was promptly taken away from her. What kind of person refuses clothes for their child because they are too big, surely you'd just put it away until they have grown into it?

Anyway in reply to your question I cried all the way home (this was one of many incidents rejecting our side of the family) and now I don't buy for them as it was always wrong and sil refuses to ever let any of them spend time with our side of the family.

My adoptive sister complained infront of everyone about the presents I bought her two daughters. Just another snipe really. We weren't close.

However, I took control last year when our 4th child was born and I no longer see her anymore. I'd put up with that kind of toxic belittling behaviour for too many years and wasn't having it anymore.

To lighten the thread a little (and very sorry for the rudeness some of you have endured!) my DH, who always gets things muddled up, insisted his DM loved Absolutely Fabulous, and because she was disabled and pretty much home-bound, thought it would be a perfect gift to give her the complete boxed set a few years ago.

DH and I were looking at her with anticipation whilst she unwrapped it, silently congratulating ourselves on our efforts, just to see her face wrinkle up in disappointment. "Ab-Fab?? I HATE this show!" Turns out it was Vicar of Dibley she loved and Absolutely Fabulous she hated, and DH had mixed them up. She had a wonderful sense of humour though, so we all had a big laugh over the mix-up.

And of course, we exchanged it for Vicar of Dibley!

Sorry, actually answering your question.. I think your reaction is correct and your OH's reaction. Exchanging unwanted gifts after Christmas cannot be compared with your SIL's incredibly rude manners for telling you her child isn't 'interested' in it!!!

She sounds like an extremely controlling and rude mannered woman.

I think you're completely correct in your feeling cross about it! She was bloody rude.
Quite honestly, I would tell your OP to sort the present buying with his family in the future!!!