If Father Christmas made 'Tesco delivery stylee' substitutions- what (possibly inappropriate)things would he leave?

[Raahh]

Inspired by a comment I left on the thread about dcs asking for random things- what do we think FC would leave, if he got caught out Christmas Eve?Or the elves got bored?

DD2, for example, has asked for a mermaid tail. A real one may prove tricky- I'm thinking half a salmon might suffice?

DD1 has asked for a watermelon. It's proving tricky to find. Water melon flavoured bacardi breezer would be totally inappropriate for an 8 year old, wouldn't it? mummy wouldn't mind

What else might Santa substitute?

(Lighthearted as of course we know Father Christmas doesn't make mistakes)

DS wants a Peppa Pig- could end up with a pack of bacon!

DD very sweetly asked for nothing but a hula hoop one Christmas.

I bet Santa would have left Frazzles or Wotsits

I love the idea of bacon fruit!

Trousers- that would be a very 'Tesco' substitution!

A lot of DD2's requests are Frozen related- I'm tempted to go to Iceland (the shop, of course, not the country).