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Original poster

Are we being stingy?

355 replies

Lones80 · 04/11/2014 17:18

DS will be 3 in a couple of weeks, DD is 1 shortly after and then there are only three weeks until Christmas. We expect that between them they will get a mountain of toys from family and friends.

We're planning on getting DS a Knights' castle for his birthday and a balance bike plus stocking filler for Christmas and DD a Fisher Price door for her birthday and a trike plus stocking fillers for Christmas. Both will get PJs for Christmas Eve.

However, I've been to the other parenting website for the first time today. There's a thread where people have taken photos of all the gifts for their DC and the number of gifts some people have bought is staggering to me.

As they both have winter birthdays we buy small toys and gifts throughout the year. We are trying not to spoil them, but are we being too stingy?

OP posts:
Grumpyoldblonde · 07/11/2014 13:09

Amen to that theposterformallyknownas plenty of people will not be enjoying Christmas this year for many reasons - lets not begrudge the people who can and who will have a great time.

ByTheWishingWell · 07/11/2014 13:11

My daughter is fully recovered now Laura, thank you. Looking at her now I can't believe she was ever so ill! At the moment she's toddling about giggling like maniac, it's lovely to see. I can't wait to see her playing with her new toys (or the boxes they came in!).

I can very vividly remember the feeling of sitting by her bed in the hospital though, trying to be brave for her. I'm sorry you're going through such an awful time, and sorry that you have the added stress of feeling attacked by strangers.

lauraR1989 · 07/11/2014 13:18

Awww bless her ByTheWishingWell, I am glad to hear she is fully recovered, It's horrible seeing little one's so poorly when you cant do anything to help.

Thank you again!! x

slithytove · 07/11/2014 13:39

I have a 19mo old and a newborn.

Last year when ds was 9 mo, we spent about £70 on ten or so gifts plus a stocking. Add that to presents from family, and it was far too much. We were still opening things in the new year.

This year we have spent around £40 on 4/5 gifts each. I suspect it will still be too much when other presents are included. Any spare cash we have will go into their bank accounts.

I see no need to spend loads at this age, it won't be long before they are wanting consoles and tablets and I'd rather keep the money for then.

slithytove · 07/11/2014 13:44

Just clicked that link. I don't like being judgemental, I don't care what other people do with their money, and I need to keep my nose out. But god I'm having to sit on my hands to stop myself typing something vile about the op of that thread.

Blush quite ashamed.

lauraR1989 · 07/11/2014 14:03

Op as in Dot?

Quite a few have said vile things already x

FullOfChoc · 07/11/2014 14:11

When my DC were that age lots of their presents were secondhand. Did they care? Of course not.

One of mine has a birthday just before Christmas so he has a "royal" birthday in the middle of the year to spread the gifts and so they don't have to wait a whole year if there is something they really want.

What you've got sounds very sensible.

MsAnndrist · 07/11/2014 14:11

I had a look at the NM thread. Yes it's a bit vulgar but hey it isn't harming anyone and if that's what they want to do then fine. I do wish they'd stop referring to their "piles" though as it just makes me cackle - "your piles are lovely", "look at her amazing piles" and best of all "let's compare the size of our piles"!! Don't want to be around when they do that... ;)

Grumpyoldblonde · 07/11/2014 14:12

Oh Lordy, my oven is now gleaming - Laura that's a wink for you!

lauraR1989 · 07/11/2014 14:16

MsAnndrist that has made me chuckle, thank you!

haha, glad your oven is Clean! Not surprised it's gleaming after this thread! x

Biffabin · 07/11/2014 14:17

OP your lists sound similar to how I do it, one main present each and stockings. Stockings do include a main present though, this year heelies as the dc have been asking for them for about 18 months and I keep saying no. Everything else in the stocking is under £2, most of it under £1 and it includes things like toothbrushes and bubble bath that I'd be buying anyway.

Anything over £100 would have to be a joint present from me and other family members, I probably could scrape together a bit more if I really saved hard but I want the dc to understand the value of things and that big/expensive presents aren't easily come by. If they wanted an ipad or a console for example that would probably be between me, my parents, and their aunties and uncles so they know that something expensive has to come at the expense of four or five smaller presents.

(yes I have read the thread and understand why Laura's dc are getting ipads but it still remains that if my dc were to get an ipad that would be all that they got apart from a few stocking fillers, regardless of circumstances. That's not me having a go, just saying how I do things.)

lauraR1989 · 07/11/2014 14:22

Understood Biffabin, but obviously just buying the ipads and nothing else then my children would have nothing at home (limited family as said above so its different if they receive from various other family members), and children obviously need more than technology x

enormouse · 07/11/2014 14:24

slithy I did the same thing with DS1 (3) and he was overwhelmed by it so I've really scaled it back this year, for both DSes. I've asked grandparents for Clark's vouchers and more practical presents - grobags, clothes etc and fewer toys.

laura I did judge you and I'm really sorry about that.
I hope your DS continues to improve and that you and your family have a lovely Christmas and New year.

Biffabin · 07/11/2014 14:28

My children also have no contact with their dad or his side of the family so I do understand where you're coming from with that, it's certainly not easy. My children are also a couple of years older than yours, so I suppose they already have plenty of toys to play with without needing new each Christmas-our lego collection is already quite sizable just from adding a small set or two each year for example. That's probably why I don't think they'd need new toys as well as a console, they already have plenty.

lauraR1989 · 07/11/2014 14:28

Enormouse, thank you for taking the time to come back to the thread to apologise, I really do appreciate that.

Thank you also for your well wishes, I do Hope you and your family have a fantastic Christmas x

lauraR1989 · 07/11/2014 14:32

Its sad isn't it, but hey that's the way life goes I guess.

We used to keep toy's but obviously they grow out of some and DS1 (5 & a half) always give his toys away to the next door neighbours little boy as when he went round there just before last Christmas the little boy had no toys, while boxing DS1's old toys up (some to sell on and some for the charity shop) he asked to give them to the little boy next door, so we did that last year and will do so again this year (some coming here to the hospital we are at). The boys birthday's are also close to Christmas (DS2 next week and DS1 1st week of March) so they don't really get stuff through the year except arts and crafts x

Netmumsdot · 07/11/2014 14:37

Slithytove which op are you on about???

TimeForAnotherNameChange · 07/11/2014 14:39

It's far from being just the other site tbh, there are plenty of 'vulgar' threads on here at christmas time too, lets not kid ourselves! I'm constantly amazed at the number and value of presents some Mumsnetters buy for their families - their 'stocking fillers' are usually my children's entire presents!

Netmumsdot · 07/11/2014 14:44

I am the person who stated that thread so if you have something to say then say it!!!!

ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks · 07/11/2014 14:48

Dot I think it's already been said love Grin

Grumpyoldblonde · 07/11/2014 14:51

Oh, good God, what can I clean to a gleam now? Hi Dot I enjoy your thread, and I also love Christmas (normally, not this year sadly) so ignore the bitchy comments on here.

pussinwellyboots · 07/11/2014 14:51

I think it sounds fine. Kids don't NEED lots of Christmas presents. My kids are 6 and 4 and we're pretty tight about what we give them but our house is still absolutely full of toys and I'm struggling for ideas For Christmas gifts. My aunt lives in a very poor African country and we are well aware that a massive Christmas presnt for the grandparents raising their orphaned grandchildren contains soap, sugar, fertiliser and other basics and costs us £5. The children don't have toys in the way we do here. With this in mind I would struggle to spend large sums of money on toys that they don't need.

lauraR1989 · 07/11/2014 14:51

Actually she just said that she was stopping herself saying something vile about the OP......why the bloody hell would you want to say something vile about someone for starting a thread you didn't agree with when it has no effect on you what so ever?

Grumpyoldblonde · 07/11/2014 14:56

Actually she just said that she was stopping herself saying something vile about the OP......why the bloody hell would you want to say something vile about someone for starting a thread you didn't agree with when it has no effect on you what so ever

Its the "I don't like to be nosey" and "don't like to be judgemental" that makes me laugh/sigh, when the person goes right ahead for a nose and wants to post a vile comment, playground stuff no, like when teenagers say "I'm not being horrible" then proceed to tell you that you smell or something!

ByTheWishingWell · 07/11/2014 15:00

I don't think the OP of the NM thread has done anything wrong at all. Confused

There's plenty of threads on here that I might find silly or that don't interest me (e.g. X-factor/BGT threads, celebrity gossip, etc), but I certainly don't blame people for starting them. Surely to be part of a forum this size we just need to accept that not everyone has the same interests/parenting style/outlook on life, and stick to the threads that interest us?

Some of these comments just feel like bullying for the sake of it- people who have spent loads are spoiling their children, people who haven't spent much have bought tat. I doubt the responses would have been quite so harsh had the the thread been on MN instead of NM.