Poncetastic Christmas 2014

[HopeAndStories]

(Posting FellatioNelson's OP from previous years )
_

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.

Umlauf, the wreath is looking fab.

With regards to a hanging tree I made a 4ft wooden tree frame a few years ago out of leftover skirting board, a nail gun and some grey emulsion. I put little decorations and fairy lights on it and used it against Window display. It could have been hung but would have needed a very strong hook. Can't find a pic but will look for something similar.

TREE INSPIRATION - I put a 'star' on top by nailing two triangles together (one right way up and one upside down).

The table looks fab Fell. I really want to try and turn out something as polished this year. Where should I look for plate chargers and runners? Any good stockists you could recommend?
I'm joining this thread excitedly. I'm preparing to make my first ever Christmas cake ( delia, obvs) and mincemeat this weekend. I may even make a Christmas cake for my mother .... But I may run out of steam!

A lovely table, Fell.

One of these years I will take 'before' and 'after' photos of mine, and have a spot the 62 differences contest .

No good asking me for stockists I'm afraid - I am in the Middle East now, so no help! Thank you for all your compliments.

i try to keep things as Christmassy as possible but the stuff I can buy here is limited so I can't go very trad, or rustic or Scandi-Chic. I have to have a fake tree for example, which pains me no end although I did spy a real tree in a florist's last year at a ludicrous amount of money but even I am not that poncetastic.

Aah.. Well it's looking exceptionally good considering you are in the ME if supplies are hard to come by. Google here I come.

Halloween decorations coming down tomorrow and the great pre Christmas toy purge and charity shop drop off will happen on Monday.

I am on the look out for a large wreath ring if anyone has seen one?

Hello. It is next month !!

Just coming on to show you the finished crochet wreath article, and gently ask the person who put the unfinished one on pinterest to maybe consider deleting it and using this one instead? Been a bit naive about what I put on the internet and feel a bit embarrassed about having the shoddy, unfinished on "out there" properly.

Off on another pinecone hunt today! Bought my white spray paint yesterday. My Paperwhite bulbs have finally arrived but the kilner jar I was going to use is much smaller than I thought and full of mincemeat so I'm not sure what to do with them!

Umlauf that is absolutely beautiful, you are vv talented.

Fell - your table is lovely. Very elegant. Will put a pic of ours up. It was very red! Planning on breaking up the red this year. I might have to have a table rehearsal!

Toots - Matalan had charger plates and table runners etc. I think Wilkos do too. And I think most of the supermarkets do some xmas table stuff.

Umlauf - wow. That is just stunning. Absolutely stunning. I'm in awe. I'm trying to knit a Santa cushion for my niece and am stuck on joining the colours. Need to look it up. And then I have a crochet hook and a ball of white wool to attempt to learn to do snowflakes. Did you have a kit or instructions for your wreath? I would love to do something like that. Maybe for next year.

Wow Umlauf that is amazing. I feel like an amateur on my own thread now.

I admit to being crap at anything involving sewing/knitting. I'm more of your creative director kind of woman - I leave all the actual skilled work to everyone else.

(except with the cooking.)

Love the dinner table, Fell. It's just what I would've imagined.

So many great ideas this year -- as always. It has taken me hours to catch up!

Umlauf, what a stunning wreath [amazed]

I am more of a 'creative director' too, and hence my decor features the ham fisted 'rustic', spare and vaguely Scandinavian look.

fabulous are these crackers?!

I'm having 13 for Xmas dinner, and these have inspired me to have a nutcracker theme. My gran used to take the whole family to the ballet every year, so it's quite special to my family.

Has anyone seen any cheap nutcracker decorations?

Oh Umlauf you just made me laugh into my wine.
Glad your bulbs have arrived. Any container will do , have you got a vase at all ?
Get them started on pebbles , as you are short of time I would skip the " in the dark "phase and just grow them in the light.
Come back and tell me what you decide to grow them in. I feel a strange spence of responsibility ! [ grin]

PS your wreath is ast-on-ish-ing !!

Ok. Done my paperwhites. Mincemeat soaking. Cake mix all prepped for tomorrow. BAKERS TWINE bought fucking hell it's lovely and scented tealights in drawer.

AM EXCITED

Umlauf that wreath is stunning. I can't believe you have only just learnt to crochet, you are a natural!

Trixy not sure if these count as cheap

www.notonthehighstreet.com/littlebabycompany/product/nutcracker-garland-83-piece-decorations-kit

I've only just found you, my spiritual home! I don't normally allow myself to consider Christmas until post Halloween, so excuse my absence.
I'm in awe of Umlauf, and now MUST learn to crochet. However, I am a dab hand at felt decorations and made Christmas puddings, reindeer heads, penguins, Christmas trees, and Gingerbread men around 5 years ago before I had DD1 and had time to indulge my creative side! Will go dig them out of decorations box and take pics to provide inspiration... (They do look like a slightly incompetent child has made them but I think they're cute).
Also, can recommend the £3 fleeced throws from ikea in red and white for stockings/cushion projects!

You're all very kind! I am pleased with it and it is hanging up.. I suppose I had ought to take it down for a few weeks... Also on the go is a pinecone wreath with the pinecones I collected in Les Landes recently. I had planned to wire them together but they just aren't staying in place. I've tried no more nails (as its the only glue I had in the house!) but that also won't hold them. I've bitten the bullet and ordered a hot glue gun now, so we will see if that makes a difference. I'm obviously not going to hang the crochet one outside so wanted a less valuable one for the front door.

trumpton you will be so ashamed of me... they are in a plastic plant pot I bought in the £ store. It is the colour of terracotta but shiny and plastic! As unponcetastic as you go. I need to think of a way to ponce it up, but want to see if the bulbs actually get going first. Maybe I'll wrap the pot in brown paper and tie with Christmas ribbon so it looks like a present!

Umlauf - do you have instructions for the wreath? I would love to attempt it. Maybe for next year! I concentrate on snowflakes this year.

Ah sorry Cider, I typed out a reply to you but it obviously hasn't posted!! Not really.. I used this tutorial but changed the colours and things I put on it. I used the holly, little white balls and flower tutorials on that site but the mistletoe and ivy I made up. The bird I bought last year in the January sales as a tree decoration.

(warning: that website is addictive!)

Thanks Umlauf. Will have a look.

Oh Umlauf not ashamed at all !
Next year you will be able to source all the bits in advance.
And just think how lovely they will smell.