Poncetastic Christmas 2014

[HopeAndStories]

(Posting FellatioNelson's OP from previous years )
_

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.

I know - it is ridiculous. I have just gone back to work after mat leave as well! No idea why I only just learned to crochet!

Not mohair its double knit with a sparkly thread through, I'm tempted to get the red too and do pompon garlands

Just ordered some amazing fabric to make dd's stocking and a Christmas dress there will be leftovers too so I'll have to think of more things to make.

Umlauf is crochet easy? My Mum bought me a book and a little kit to learn how to do it for my birthday but I've not really had time to sit down and have a go yet. Do you reckon I can learn in time to make some small bits for Christmas?

today I made a little wreath,it was actually from a kit I got free in a magazine but it was so easy I'm going to do my own big one.it was just a foam ring,strips of felt and a glue gun! not sure how to put a photo on.I'm going to do sloe gin and mince meat this weakened and possibly some felt bunting,and iron on the letters on the stockings.after that I'm going to focus on Halloween.

DP and I are buying a flat. The other day it suddenly occurred to me that the living room DOESN'T have a fireplace! >shock horror!<

I rang some friends and told them that we're not going to buy the flat because we have no place to put our stockings. They nearly believed me.

NB the two BRs have chimney breasts, and we'll be reinstating the fireplaces, probably in time for Poncetastic Christmas 2015.

5toocool I have that kit too, I stocked up on Christmassy mags especiallyiftheyhadkits and the plan was to spend Friday afternoon/evening reading and crafting whilst DS was at his grandparents and DH was at work. But MIL has decided she has far more important things to do despite the fact that she told me when she was having him fingers crossed DS wants to go to bed early

MeDented
It's not an exact thing at all. I am rubbish at growing anything but these are foolproof.
Water to base of bulbs to encourage them to root. It doesn't seem to matter too much. I gave some to a friend and she virtually submerged her bulbs and they still survived.
It is worthwhile doing the alcohol solution as it stops them being too leggy and needing tiding up. The link to the solution is in my original post of Tuesday 14th October.
Sorry for delay but am on holiday with patchy wifi.

cheese they are gorgeous! Here are mine.

felixyou absolutely MUST learn to crochet. At the end of August, I was perusing the poncetastic threads of yesteryear and I saw a link to this snowflake tutorial and a mumsnetter claiming it was very easy. You need to know how to do two stitches - chain stitch and US Double crochet (which is called single crochet in the UK). So I found two youtube tutorials for both stitches and that was IT! After the snowflakes, I learned a couple of other simple stitches so I could do a few more things on the Attic 24 blog. So I've been crocheting for just over a month and have made all those things - and I'm working part time and have a 1yo. It is addictive!

The other picture is my practice wreath - I'm doing one twice the size in Christmassy colours with crochet holly, mistletoe, roses, ivy, snowballs and hopefully a robin on! It is very time consuming though so I hope I finish in time for this Christmas....

trumpton I'm going to try those narcissi. I'm so jealous of the Christmassy mags. When does the Christmas goodhousekeeping come out? I'm restricted to ipad editions unfortunately so no scrapbooking, but thank goodness for ipad editions - I couldn't be an expat without them!

Wow umlauf I thought you'd been at it for ages! I'm going to get my book and kit out today and have a go. Thanks for the snowflake link

Can anyone tell me where the cheapest place is to buy a glue gun?

Just logged on the mobile site to look at the pics. Umlauf your wreath is BEAUTIFUL!!! I am so impressed!

Ok turns out crochet just really isn't for me. It made me angry I'll stick to my sewing machine

If anyone has a HomeSense/TKMaxx near them take a look at the baking section. I just bought a silicon mould of gingerbread cottages. I'm going to make individual sticky gingerbread cakes to arrange as a little village with gingerbread biscuit trees, dusting the lot with icing sugar.

trumpton I've just been round four garden centers trying and failing to locate paperwhite narcissi, I might have to order on eBay, ridiculous as they're supposed to be native to Spain! There is winston Churchill and cheerfulness but I'm not sure they would be as successful? We're only at home up until mid December have I left it too late to do the paperwhite, considering it probably couldn't plant them until next weekend at the earliest?

Went to the range today but didn't see anything crafty I wanted. They had loads of lovely wooden decorations though! I bought a garland thing (not sure if that's the right word?) to hang on the front of the mantelpiece in my new house. It's a gingham ribbon with wooden hearts hanging from it, and little wooden pegs for cards. £2.60! Lovely for the price.

This is a weird question but how do I hang stockings from my mantelpiece?

I'm thinking of a felt gingerbread man garland for the kitchen. There was a free kit with one of the magazines for one gingerbread man, so just more supplies to copy it, and red gingham ribbon to string it together.
Also I saw these lovely glittery initial decorations in m&s, but they didn't have all the letters I needed, so I'm going to make our own, definitely one of the easiest crafts I have planned! Bought glitter paint today

Holy cow, Umlauf [gobsmacked]. Your snowflakes and wreath are gorgeous!!

I have five small stockings in red with white trim, each about 6" long and with a little loop. I use thumbtacks to stick them to the mantelpiece. I only put chocolate coins and santas from Aldi in the stockings (one for each DC) so the small size is fine and the thumbtacks hold them up nicely.

If your mantel has an overhanging lip and you want to put something heavy into your stockings, you could try to use cup hooks screwed into the under side of the lip where the little hole wouldn't be visible afterwards.

Or you could try those 3M adhesive hooks that can be pulled off and claim not to leave a mark. Maybe if you put some of them horizontally on top of the mantelpiece, hooks facing up, you could loop a tag from the stocking over the hook. You could hide the hook(s) with greenery.
*I have never tried this and have no idea if these sticky hooks work as advertised, or if they can really be peeled off without any damage, so maybe test first.

Wow it has taken me weeks to work my way through this thread!

Not sure how much poncing I'm going to get done this year as have a 4 mth old and not getting much sleep (as well as a 7yr old and 4yr old & having lots of work done in the house!), but learnt to crochet earlier this year so want to crochet some presents and decs.

Felixfelix definitely try and persevere with the crochet. It made me MAD for a good few days but then suddenly clicked & now I am totally addicted!

We've got special stocking hooks for the mantelpiece - solid metal snowflakes which sit on the mantel & have a hook on the front to hold the stocking. I saw some lovely reindeer shaped ones in TKMaxx yesterday.

Oh meant to add that I've made some sloe gin and damson gin from fruit I had in the freezer from last year, and also got a couple of jars of homemade mincemeat left from last year too so won't need to make any this year. My favorite mince pie recipe is a Mary Berry one with a frangipani topping - totally lush!

Previous years I have made hampers full of homemade jams, chutneys and flavored booze but after finding most of it in the back of a cupboard unopened when at my mum's in the summer, I'm just going to put myself to all they bother if it's not really appreciated

Late to the party but i am finally here.

Thank you all for helping babe me excited about Christmas been having a crazy time topped off by moving house and Christmas just wasn't hitting its usual buttons

I have now joined you all in pintrest and started my Christmas planning book.

Lingonberry vodka is infusing.

And I'm starting to think about food. I've done goose the last few years but I happen to have a catering sized roll of filo pastry so in thinking maybe beef Wellington this year.

What's your best Christmas roasts?

I've been busy making bunting today. Just need to sew the backs onto each triangle. Will catch up with the thread properly tomorrow :)

umlauf
If you plant them soon you should be ok. I generally start mine 10th nov for Christmas so you should be ok now for mid December , if too tight for you put it in the planner for next year!

HopeAndStories that is flipping lovely!! Looks really professional!!

Thank you trumpton - I ordered some paperwhite on ebay. I'll plant them as soon as they arrive! Maybe the warmer climate will help them along!!

I finished off my red wool today making this for DS (13 months!) It is very messy and I didn't use a pattern, just made it up as I went, but it looks adorable on (helps having such a scrummy model!)

And not Christmassy, but I suppose poncetastic. We spent the weekend whitewashing the walls. I try and repaint the apartment annually, to hide all the grub. So it looks lovely and clean now.

I am loving this thread! I would love to be crafty and often try but the final result never quite looks like I thought it would!! I have stolen the Christmas pudding garland idea (hoping to do Christmas pudding, tree and stocking on repeat), showed my mum the first shape and she asked if my dd (4) had helped- ouch!
Mil announced yesterday that they are coming for Christmas (after initially getting my hopes up that they wouldn't come), she buys Christmas and hates that I try and do things from scratch so won't appreciate my efforts at all (she seems to take it as a personal insult that I do things differently to her ).

donthack you must have an extremely gifted 4yo! They look really lovely. I'm loving the idea of strolling down an avenue somewhere in the United Kingdom in December, peering through the front windows and seeing reams of Christmas Pudding bunting in each one!!

I'm frantically crocheting because my Mum is staying with me as of tomorrow and she can't know of my new skill! (That way its more of a surprise when everyone receives crochet presents). I've finally got the base of my Christmas wreath done, so now have to make a start on the million holly leaves to go on it. It is very satisfying as it is though!

Unfortunately my Mum has been unable to locate pectin sachets and so I am going to have to be as poncetastic as they come and make my chili jam the olde fashioned way - using apples for pectin. This will not work! Wish me luck!