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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

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Original poster

Someone please calm me down, because I am in danger of not speaking to DH over Christmas. Seriously.

35 replies

SirChenjin · 24/12/2013 17:16

After my light hearted earlier thread, DH has royally fucked up. I am beyond livid. I asked him for 2 things for Christmas. A music CD and for my ring (which I absolutely adore) to be fixed. It's a lovely 1930s ring which have been wearing with my wedding ring, but the middle stone fell out a couple of months ago. Instead of taking it to a jeweller, he decided about 30 mins ago to fix it - with superglue. And guess what - he's botched it up. Majorly botched it up.

The one fucking thing I really, really wanted him to do. I don't know whether to slam doors or cry.

OP posts:

FunkyBoldRibena · 24/12/2013 17:19

Calm down and tell him to get it sorted once the shops are open again.

Butterytoast · 24/12/2013 17:21

There is special stuff which gets superglue off so it's not beyond repair. Take it to a jewellers yourself in the new year and tell him he's stumping up for it!!

In the meantime get a bottle of wine and a mince pie and relax

SnakeyMcBadass · 24/12/2013 17:21

I'd probably chuck a bit of a wobbly, then get over it by tomorrow. Sorry he's bodged it :(

Original poster

SirChenjin · 24/12/2013 17:25

It's the fact that he's had weeks to take it to the jewellers and he decides to leave it til the last minute and then decides to do it himself. If he was Mr Fixit who could fix anything then fair enough, but he's not. I actually feel really hurt that he couldn't even do this one this that was really important to me - and believe me, I'm not usually one for getting her knickers in a twist about Christmas. If it was going to be an issue then he should have said and I would have taken it to the jewellers myself, but he assured me he would get it fixed for me.

OP posts:

ToffeeOwnsTheSausage · 24/12/2013 17:26

Ask him why he did what he did as he has made you feel like he doesn't care enough to make a special effort. His job is to make you feel like he did it because he cares hugely about you having the ring fixed and was too busy sorting out other amazing presents to visit the jewellers.

TotallyBursarforHogswatch · 24/12/2013 17:44

I can completely understand where you're coming from. There was similar here one year and it was the end of a run of just stupid thoughtlessness. I cried & I'm not a crier. I also called him a fucking thoughtless bastard and I'm not given to insulting him either.

I would tell him exactly how it made you feel and just get it out. Although I'm coming from the angle that we argue until it's resolved then it's done so I would feel like shit tonight but feel better for Christmas day. I think bursting into tears because I was much more hurt than angry actually made him hear what I was saying & realise how much he'd fucked up. Nothing wrong with going and giving the shed/wall/whatever isn't him a good kicking, possibly crying as well. Tip the balance back to composed.

I'm really sorry, it will get sorted though. Would you like me to say LTB? I can call him a knob too, if you want?

Davros · 24/12/2013 17:48

He's been a fuckwit. Do you think he feels bad about it? I would give him a hard time for half an hour and then deign to make things OK as it's Xmas. Then extract retribution big time after Xmas. One year DH got me nothing for my birthday. I didn't want anything much but nothing was unacceptable. He's never done it again because I was genuinely hurt.

Original poster

SirChenjin · 24/12/2013 17:53

I really can't bring myself to say anything at the moment as I suspect it will just descend into an argument. I won't LTB (not after 20 years!) but he will be left in no doubt how hurt and upset I am by this once Christmas is over.

OP posts:

BunnyMama · 24/12/2013 18:07

But, did you get the CD??? That's the real question

C'maaaan... you've every right to be super annoyed... superglue... the clown... but it's Christmas. Get yourself a glass of sherry. You'll look back and laugh in 55 years or so

edamsavestheday · 24/12/2013 18:11

You'll look back and laugh in about 12 years when you get released from your life sentence on licence... because of course you have to kill him. Thoughtless, selfish, idle bugger.

Although that's reminded me, I picked up dh's wedding ring that I've had resized for him the other day. WHERE did I put the bugger? Off to search!

ToffeeOwnsTheSausage · 24/12/2013 18:11

She is hurt. Of course she won't laugh. Funny is asking for a classical music CD and getting a 1D one.

edamsavestheday · 24/12/2013 18:12

oops sorry for swearing and repetition, I blame the panic of suddenly realising I'm not entirely sure where I put dh's ring...

TotallyBursarforHogswatch · 24/12/2013 18:13

I don't think it's a LTB offense, but thought I'd offer! If that works for you, there's nowt wrong with not opening the can.
Or just quietly supergluing his hand to his leg in the night
It was a rubbish thing to do, but he can make amends for this fuck up and I hope he makes you feel better. It's horrible though. Fingers crossed tomorrow is a happier one.

Original poster

SirChenjin · 24/12/2013 21:23

Thanks all. Between these posts and the copious amounts of mulled wine I'm feeling a little bit better - but still feel incredibly hurt by the lack of care and thought. Ah well, not the end of the world I suppose.

OP posts:

TheDoctrineOfSanta · 24/12/2013 21:32

Superglue?

What a poo poo head.

Davros · 24/12/2013 21:56

Well, you don't want to be a prima Donna but you shouldn't get overlooked either. I bet you make sure everyone else's Xmas happens, it's not much to ask but best to let it go for now

Davros · 24/12/2013 21:58

Well, you don't want to be a prima Donna but you shouldn't get overlooked either. I bet you make sure everyone else's Xmas happens, it's not much to ask but best to let it go for now

condaleeza · 24/12/2013 21:59

YANBU.

Mollydoggerson · 24/12/2013 22:09

There is a woman on another thread upset because she could not tend to her daughter's grave as she wanted to today due to the weather.

This time last year my father was being worked on by a cardiac team, pumping on his chest and forcing him back to life, he lived for 5 more days.

You are seriously lacking perspective.

Davros · 24/12/2013 22:14

I think you are being needlessly harsh. There is always tragedy in the world, it doesn't mean someone shouldn't expect a bit of consideration from their OH

edamsavestheday · 24/12/2013 22:18

And Merry Christmas to you too, Molly. There's always someone worse off - doesn't make unkindness irrelevant. I'm sorry your father died but I bet you still moan about other stuff occasionally. We all do!

CantaSlaus · 24/12/2013 22:23

Oh ffs, why does the 'there are people worse off than you' brigade always come marching in? People are allowed to get upset over things other than world disasters you know!

TotallyBursarforHogswatch · 24/12/2013 22:32

Molly - I'm very sorry for your loss and that this time of year is hard for your family.
But having that pain doesn't mean no one else is allowed to be upset about anything unless it 'worse'. I'm sure Sir feels grateful for the things she has, that doesn't mean she can't be hurt by something hurtful. She is not hysterical, not woe is me or threatening to implode the family Christmas, she's getting it off her chest and that is absolutely ok and her reaction is not a loss of perspective.

My son should be here, my brother should be here, both lost as children, and my mum is battling cancer. It's a tender grief. But I was still upset that I will miss Christmas due to a bug. Big or little it's all valid.
I hope you are comforted by good memories and it takes the edge off, have a peaceful Christmas

Mollydoggerson · 24/12/2013 22:39

Hi Totally, thanks for your kind words and sorry for your losses.

I disagree, I think the OP being 'beyond livid' is an overreaction.

We are all entitled to an opinion. The title of this thread is an appeal to calm the OP down, there are lots of nice soothing noises and my opinion of thinking her reaction is OTT.

TotallyBursarforHogswatch · 24/12/2013 23:16

Thank you.
I think it's easy to slip into hyperbole when upset and if if this was a week after the event for sure that would be OTT, but I am happy to agree to disagree
As long as there is no malice all opinions are equal.

Sometimes things just accumulate into a big crap fest & it doesn't take much to open the floodgates and make the focal point a bit of a bigger deal than it maybe otherwise would be. We have all been there, sometimes you benefit from a bit of sympathy so you can get back on track, sometimes you need to be told to give your head a wobble. I think this was a hurtful thing and deserved a bit of sympathy. If Sir does actually glue his hand to his leg, not so much!
You didn't think the same so there's a bit of everything to look at when it's all less fresh.
Which is why I never get 'MN is a hivemind' threads but that's by the by.
I'm going to crawl into bed and wait for DH to get home from work. Sleep well.

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