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Anyone's child receive a "naughty list" PNP or letter? Would you send one?

86 replies

OLittleTownOfBarflehem · 02/12/2013 21:53

How did it go?

DS has been a nightmare this last month. He's had days when he has been an angel, but on the whole his behaviour hasn't been good. We have confiscated games etc and today I considered sending a "naughty list" PNP. Instead I did one of those in between ones, and I bloody wished I hadn't, he was inconsolable. I felt like the shittiest mum in the world and felt so bad for him. Especially when he told me that he'd got three housepoints today for good behaviour and homework.

So, we had a chat about his behaviour, and how he struggles sometimes, and it ended really quite well. I have done another one for the "nice list" for tomorrow.

Would you ever do a "naughty" message?

OP posts:
intitgrand · 03/12/2013 20:38

'Emotional abuse, said one poster? No. Rubbish. I can't accept it is emotional abuse.'

It is.It's on a par with telling them you are going to kill their pet.That bad I think.

OLittleTownOfBarflehem · 03/12/2013 20:45

Oh, I get it! You're pulling our leg.

Phew.

Smile
OP posts:
Taffeta · 03/12/2013 20:52

WTF?

OutragedFromLeeds · 03/12/2013 21:00

Don't be ridiculous init. Of course it's ok to threaten to kill their pets, as long as you don't actually do it. Next you'll be telling me I shouldn't have put DS's favourite teddy in a blender! Or sent DD to the workhouse. Hmm

MmeLindor · 03/12/2013 21:00

Outraged
I watched the 'naughty' one, not the one that the OP sent. I realised after I posted the first reply that I know the OP (sorry, love - I forgot your namechange!) but it wouldn't have changed my response.

I think that combining a behaviour message with Santa is troubling.

Barf
until a few years ago, I would have said that my mum was great while we were growing up, but have come to realise some of the things she did were crap. Not proper abusive, but discouraging and bad for self-confidence. I didn't suffer so badly from it, but my brother did. He was always more sensitive.

I now notice when I react like my mum would, and 'correct' myself. I have a decent relationship with my mum, but my brother doesn't, and she doesn't understand why he is sometimes cold and distant with her. She would be devastated if I were to tell her. I would hate to think that my kids would grow up to feel about me the way my brother feels about my mother.

One thing that she told me that fits well with this situation was 'never send a child to bed as a punishment as bedtime should be comforting and nice'.

This is how I feel about this video. It is using a pleasant and fun childhood event and it is being used to discipline a child. Whether it is the 'naughty' or the 'you could do better' version, it has the potential to be very upsetting.

I am glad that today was better, and I think that keeping talking, keeping that trust is more important. You are a great mum, and you just need to believe in yourself, and do what you think is right.

OutragedFromLeeds · 03/12/2013 21:04

I don't have a problem with your opinion Mme, we can agree to disagree.

My point was just watch first, judge second.

moldingsunbeams · 03/12/2013 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OLittleTownOfBarflehem · 03/12/2013 21:16

Thank you mme, that means a lot. DS was so chuffed when his email "came through" and it was good. We had another chat today and he feels like he is making progress, and knew that he couldn't continue as he would. Like I've said, I regret it and would never do it again. I did something stupid, lesson learnt. I'm not perfect and always hold my hand up when I screw up. DS knows that I always admit when I get things wrong, because otherwise how do you fix it?

We've had a wonderful evening though, and lots more planned. No lasting trauma Xmas Wink

OP posts:
SunshineMMum · 04/12/2013 11:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OLittleTownOfBarflehem · 04/12/2013 11:32

Sunshine, Xmas Grin that's ace!

OP posts:
SunshineMMum · 04/12/2013 12:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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