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Original poster

Anyone's child receive a "naughty list" PNP or letter? Would you send one?

86 replies

OLittleTownOfBarflehem · 02/12/2013 21:53

How did it go?

DS has been a nightmare this last month. He's had days when he has been an angel, but on the whole his behaviour hasn't been good. We have confiscated games etc and today I considered sending a "naughty list" PNP. Instead I did one of those in between ones, and I bloody wished I hadn't, he was inconsolable. I felt like the shittiest mum in the world and felt so bad for him. Especially when he told me that he'd got three housepoints today for good behaviour and homework.

So, we had a chat about his behaviour, and how he struggles sometimes, and it ended really quite well. I have done another one for the "nice list" for tomorrow.

Would you ever do a "naughty" message?

OP posts:
insanityscatching · 03/12/2013 05:30

I sent the naughty list one to ds (adult) listing his crimes as kissing girls and drinking too much beer. Dd who was about 8 at the time really loved it because it was aimed at her brother she would have been devastated though if it had been aimed at her

GwendolineMaryLacey · 03/12/2013 06:03

I remember when starting a family just meant having children. Before it because a lifestyle choice with all it's catchphrases.

What a load of bollocks. Another perfect parent in theory only...

GhettoPrincess001 · 03/12/2013 06:42

Gwen love,

You still didn't properly explain wtf a Portable North Pole letter is. Now that really does sound like bollocks.

Back on thread please ladies

Original poster
OLittleTownOfBarflehem · 03/12/2013 08:10

Thank you all.

DS has bounced downstairs this morning, without a care in the world. As I said, afterwards we had a chat and he understands how his bad behaviour has impacted others. The PNP video is just an extension of the traditional "santa is watching!" And he knew his behaviour had been beyond the pale.

We all make mistakes. We all snap when pushed too far, and I don't believe one parent who says otherwise. I wish I hadn't done it, but I did. I turned it around and into a positive thing.

OP posts:
spanky2 · 03/12/2013 08:15

We sent the inbetween one last year to ds2.

Original poster
OLittleTownOfBarflehem · 03/12/2013 08:15

And also, threatening a child with social services is totally different. That's telling a child that you don't love them and don't want to see them anymore. This is telling a child that if their behaviour doesn't pick up then they will lose treats.

OP posts:
Original poster
OLittleTownOfBarflehem · 03/12/2013 08:17

Spanky, how did he react?

OP posts:
SunshineMMum · 03/12/2013 08:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OutragedFromLeeds · 03/12/2013 12:45

Ghetto PNP or Portable North Pole is just the name of the company, it's not a 'code' anymore than Tesco's is a code for 'a shop that sells food' or Next is a code for 'a shop that sells clothes'.

Titsalinabumsquash · 03/12/2013 12:51

I have seriously considered it with my 8yo this past few weeks, he simply doesn't give a shit about anything he's been without Xbox, sweets, 3DS, bike etc etc for weeks now, no change e Celt for the fact that we gave him his bike back last weekend, he the. Refused to put it back in the shed and when told he either out it back or it would be lost again for 2 more days he chucked it in, upside down and then pushed the for against it with his full body weight to cram it in and buckled the wheel .... It's 2 months old Angry

Tbh I told DP this morning that I am seriously tempted to tell him he won't be getting the tablet he's asked for if he doesn't start watching his attitude and then following through and actually not giving it to him, Ds2 will still be getting his because he's behaved a lot better.

octopusinasantasack · 03/12/2013 12:58

I would not send one to my DC but I made up one to a fictional child, I showed it to my DS and said it was one received by an online friend's child. It worked....

Pogosticks · 03/12/2013 12:59

PSML @ Tesco being a code for 'shop that sells food'

Pogosticks · 03/12/2013 13:06

I often remind my children that 'Father Christmas only brings presents for well behaved children'. Just like I tell them 'good things happen to good people' and I give them rewards for effort and behaviour. Just like what adults get really.

Original poster
OLittleTownOfBarflehem · 03/12/2013 13:06

Titsalina, I feel your pain. Sometimes you just reach a point, don't you, where you just reach the end of your tether.

I like octopuses idea. The shock without the guilt.

OP posts:
Titsalinabumsquash · 03/12/2013 13:23

It's the attitude on him that's the worst, I have had the pleasure of having several of his friends from school round to play and they're all the same so I guess there is comfort in it being 'normal' but still no easier to deal with!

intitgrand · 03/12/2013 13:26

if you are sort of parent who would entertain the idea of doing this, then there is the answer to why your children are naughty.

Original poster
OLittleTownOfBarflehem · 03/12/2013 13:31

Intit - hahahahahahahahaaa Xmas Grin

Or maybe, just maybe, its because he is an 8yo with ASD. How old are your dcs? I ask because I had the same judgey, nasty stance as you pre-ds.

The funny thing about parenthood is that you make mistakes, its how you deal with them that counts. I dealt with it very well. DS is happy and so am I. Maybe you should write a book though!

Tits, yep! I can cope with tantrums and strops, but the "see if I care" really got to me.

OP posts:
GwirionBost · 03/12/2013 13:34

I read most of this thread without understanding what PNP was. But I have to say that personally, I'd feel very very uncomfortable with this. What happens when they misbehave come January? I don't want them to behave because that results in more stuff.
I can just imagine the feeling of getting that after a hard week. It's very hard when children misbehave but it seems a little odd for me to use a fictional stranger to control their behaviour.
Saying all that, OP obviously felt this was the only way forward.

intitgrand · 03/12/2013 13:37

18,15,12,8,5

OutragedFromLeeds · 03/12/2013 13:38

'What happens when they misbehave come January?'

Easter Bunny blackmail? Wink

Original poster
OLittleTownOfBarflehem · 03/12/2013 13:40

And they've never misbehaved? You not made a decision to try to shock them a bit, or one that you've later regretted Xmas Shock

Wow, you really should write a book!

Meanwhile, us mortals learn as we go and admit to mistakes then put them right.

OP posts:
wonderingsoul · 03/12/2013 13:41

intit-

ALL children misbehave so your comment was a bit pointless really.
i guess youv never made a mistake or said something that youv regreatted?
there is no such thing as a perfect parent.

its n ot emotional abuse and can not be compared with being told your going to give the child away to ss.

the op handled it well, she realized it was a mistake and made it ok in the end.

Original poster
OLittleTownOfBarflehem · 03/12/2013 13:42

Outraged Xmas Grin tbh, ds is normally great. He just gets OTT this time of year, and, like I said, its been a long few months Xmas Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
OLittleTownOfBarflehem · 03/12/2013 13:46

Wondering, thank you. It really did turn into a positive. DS said he hadn't thought about the impact of his behaviour on others (me, his teacher, his schoolfriends) we talked about coping mechanisms and I agreed to try to be more patient, and he will try to calm down.

Win, win. I take my parent rating from ds, not some judgey randomers. He thinks I'm doing well.

OP posts:
DoingItForMyself · 03/12/2013 14:14

I've got an idea - how about anyone who doesn't understand what the cryptic catchphrase 'PNP' (or, as it has been explained, Portable North Pole letter) is, why not try googling it?

I did an in between one for DS1 who was 12 last year. It was more for comedy value than anything, as he is a stroppy bugger and no longer believes in Santa, but I thought it would be good for the other DCs to see a different version of it to make theirs (good ones) seem more real.

DS saw the funny side, but I think anyone who still believes would have found it a bit of a shock. Glad your DS seems to have taken the right message from it now though.

If its any consolation, DS1 is still a moody little bugger at 13 and gets into lots of arguments, but he has also become very thoughtful and mature and pointed out calmly that I wasn't really getting into the spirit of Christmas when I got stressed yesterday! He's also very good at apologising when he knows he has over-stepped the mark, having been shown clear boundaries all along.