How to convince DH that boys can have dolls?

[Nix01]

My 3 year old son has wanted a doll for ages. My mum saw one wearing blue (so a boy baby) on his wish list and she's bought it for him.

She also stupidly told DH that if it arrives here it will be returned and I should never have put it on the list etc etc.

Truthfully, he's being a total dick about the doll. He's got it in his head that boys do not have dolls and no one will convince him otherwise.

He's a very bright man and totally lovely but he's adamant on this. I want the doll. How do I convince him?

As people have said Action Man, I would add PlayMobil, Lego figures in fact any other 'action figures' are actually dolls.

Would it be any better to call the doll a large 'Action Figure'? I don't really see the difference, apart from marketing. However all childcare settings have boys and girls playing with the dolls.

DS1 and DS2 both play with the dolls from Toy Story, including Barbie and Ken. DH was a bit about it at first, until lovely MIL started listing off all the antics he got up to with his Action Man doll when he was young.

Maybe tell you DH that it isn't a doll it's a large action figure.

the father of one of the children demanded that his son was to be kept away from the "girls toys"

That's easy then - because there's actually no such thing as 'girls toys' or 'boys toys'. There's just toys for children.

Someone has linked to Let Toys be Toys upthread - yes, it was started as the result of an MN thread in the run-up to Christmas last year.

Puppy......you would rather a boy play with guns ( dangerous...enable millions of people to be killed etc) than a doll.........does your husband look after your ds ( do you have dc?)

Please dont pass that attitude on to anyone. Theres enough pathetic homophobia and sexism in the world without someone else adding to it!

Fwiw my ds is 2.8 and has a random swlection of toys. Cars, dolls, cooker, garages, tools, dressing up box containing everything feom pirate and police outfits to dresses and fairy wings.

I encouraged him to play with a doll when he was younger....I plan on one day having another dc and I thought it would be a great way to introduce the caring/nurturing of a baby. I think its workes. Hes amazing with babies...familys etc. even if he did try and breastfeed my cousins 3 day old dc hes not quite got the hang of all the details just yet bless him.

Op your dh is being a eight numpty. Like so many men over the same kind of issues. Do you plan on having another dc? If so you could use that angle. If not as other posters have said.....hes just copying his dad!!

Good God, people like this really exist!? Even my otherwise gruff FIL happily plays dolls with DS (and dress up, with necklaces and stuff), and I happen to know that DS caused chaos today in the baby section at playgroup when he decided to talc the dolls after bathing them (not sure where he got that, I don't even have talc in the house)!

Toys are toys. DS plays with whatever he finds, and couldn't care less whether other people think they are for boys or girls. I'm sure your DS is exactly the same.

Right not eight?!

But the doll, tell him to get over it

My ds (19m) has got a princess Holly doll for Christmas. He will love it. DH wasn't pleased but I assured him DS would not catch 'gay' or lose his penis

Of course there is nothing wrong with being gay, but people seem to think girls toys = gay

"Girls toys"

Astonishing.
It's a reflection on your DHs views on masculinity. WTF does he think will happen?

That your son will catch the gay/trans?

How about "I can't believe you're being so hetero-normative; I may have to start going to consciousness-raising in the local Radical Feminist group".

That should terrify him into submission

I am the least homophobic person on this earth do not judge me thank you.

Given that seeing non-gender-stereotypical behaviour gives you "the shivers", sonlypuppyfat, you're probably not actually the least homophobic person on the earth. That distinction would belong to someone who shares your other no-doubt-admirable attitudes but doesn't have a strong visceral negative reaction about transgressing gender norms.

My son has a doll for Christmas. My husband isn't overly keen, he isn't bothered enough to try and talk me out of buying it but he would probably prefer I didn't.

He doesn't have any reasonable explanation for his reluctance, first he said he didn't see the point of it. I then asked if I had a girl would he see the point of it then and he said girls are supposed to play with dolls.

It is weird, he has no real reason he just doesn't seem to like it. It is not even as if he would be bothered if our son was gay, he is very supportive of gay rights.

I pointed out that my son has a baby brother and was just playing out his real life and he seemed happier with that. That explanation seemed to make a difference to him, I am not sure why.

He wont discuss it further, I suspect because he can't really back up his argument and he knows I have bought the doll so it is somewhat irrelevant.

Cakeandwine I understood all the words you said but put together you lost me!

You're coming across as very homophobic and ignorant sonly, whether or not that's your intention. If you have an unreasonable reaction to something (like shivering if you see a child with a doll), don't you question yourself why that might be rather than shrugging your shoulders and saying that's just the way you are?

I maybe ignorant but I am not homophobic I've already said lots and lots of times it makes no sense that I'm not keen on boys with dolls my own DS never chose to play with then at nursery or playgroups but I never steered him away from them. My own friends bought dolls for their boys and I wouldn't dream of saying anything but the whole point of this thread was what I thought of boys and dolls and I'm not keen I wouldn't say it in RL

I have seen a great flow chart on facebook a few times now. It goes like this:

How to tell if a toy is for boys or girls?

Q: Do you operate the toy with your genitalia?

Yes: This toy is not for children.
No: This toy is for girls and boys.

Bertie

I'd just like to point out that my gay friends have no children (unless you count their dogs )

Quite a high percentage of my straight male friends have children and babies though. Some of them have even cuddled them, fed them, and pushed them in a buggy. What a shocker.

Of course it would be lovely if my gay friends did have children. (for the avoidance of doubt) I'm just quoting some very carefully researched statistics.

bertie I love that!

It makes me laugh every time I see it, and I've seen it shared about four or five times now. :)

dolls are just pretend people. Why is it okay for a boy to have pretend animals but not pretend people?

is worth a look.

Thanks Bertie - I was trying to remember how that one went.

Googling 'dolls for boys' proves that we're right - eg amazon