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Original poster

How to convince DH that boys can have dolls?

94 replies

Nix01 · 26/11/2013 21:59

My 3 year old son has wanted a doll for ages. My mum saw one wearing blue (so a boy baby) on his wish list and she's bought it for him.

She also stupidly told DH that if it arrives here it will be returned and I should never have put it on the list etc etc.

Truthfully, he's being a total dick about the doll. He's got it in his head that boys do not have dolls and no one will convince him otherwise.

He's a very bright man and totally lovely but he's adamant on this. I want the doll. How do I convince him?

OP posts:
nomoreminibreaks · 27/11/2013 08:04

DH and I have had similar talks but he doesn't feel that strongly about it. I generally point out that, as far as I'm aware, no-one has ever caught 'gay' from playing with a doll.

DS is about to become a big brother and I've been encouraging him to look at the dolls at play group. He takes them for walks in the little pushchair and cuddles them - just like his Daddy will.

ipswichwitch · 27/11/2013 08:06

I got 2yo DS a doll for his birthday (a Doc McStuffins one) that he'd seen in the shop and instantly fell in love with. DH was at first at bit twatty about it, now he sees how much DS loves it and has changed his opini

ipswichwitch · 27/11/2013 08:10

I got 2yo DS a doll for his birthday (a Doc McStuffins one) that he'd seen in the shop and instantly fell in love with. DH was at first at bit twatty about it, and after a stern talking to and seeing DS's little face when he opened it he has thankfully changed his thinking.
DS is now currently potty training his doll - even though he's not really taken with the idea of using it himself! He likes to put nappies on her and give her cuddles which I'm hoping will prepare him for the arrival of his baby brother/sister in a couple of weeks.

Felyne · 27/11/2013 08:16

I love this comic:
maximumble.thebookofbiff.com/2012/10/05/480-dolled/

SugarHut · 27/11/2013 09:39

As an adult, I am probably the girliest mannered person in existence. As a child all I was interested in was Transformers, and my mother despaired.

My DS has Kens and Barbies...although they are little people who go in a model village thing he has, as opposed to dress up type dolls. There are husbands, wives, children that sit on little swings, babies that get wheeled round in little prams. He role plays with them for ages. The babies are naughty, the parents tell them off...the children go off on adventures, the husbands and wives go to the shops. Ask your DH if I should remove any of the babies from the village, as they are just a smaller version of what your DS wants.

Then when he looks sheepish, give him a poke in the eye :)

bundaberg · 27/11/2013 10:20

sonlypuppyfat... seeing children with dolls gives you the shivers? really?

do you have a partner/husband/dad? did you allow them to hold your baby?

ElfontheShelfIsWATCHINGYOUTOO · 27/11/2013 10:24

Its not something i would defer to my DH to decide or do away with. I would like to think he trusts my judgement on a doll.

If he said anyting about it or tried to do away with it Id tell him where to go.

Although apparently men like your DH do not actually exist according to past MN threads!

noblegiraffe · 27/11/2013 10:28

Awww, he wants to be like his daddy!

sonlypuppyfat · 27/11/2013 12:12

No just seeing boys with dolls gives me the shivers and yes I had a dad and I've got a husband .

SolitudeSometimesIs · 27/11/2013 12:20

My son has a baby doll. He has a selection of high heels and tiaras passed on from my niece. Toys are toys for everyone. I worked as a childminder and the father of one of the children demanded that his son was to be kept away from the "girls toys", he came across as such a knobhead.

Just let DS be given the doll, let his Dad see how he plays with it.

ShoeWhore · 27/11/2013 12:29

You could point out to your dh that his son wants to be like him Smile

The delicious irony is of course that gay men are statistically much less likely to have babies than straight men...

Ds had a doll around the time his little brother was born, he was very sweet with it and used to "read" his baby stories and pat its back and take it for walks.

edamsavestheday · 28/11/2013 22:30

sonlypuppyfat, why do you think that is? And do you think the problem is with the boys, or with your reaction?

WhereIsMyHat · 28/11/2013 22:39

Just give the doll to your son and tell your DH to get over it. Not helpful, sorry. Can you talk to him to establish exactly what he is afraid of. Anyone reasonable should be able to discuss the topic.

My 3 year old son is having rainbow dash and twilight sparkle my little ponies for Christmas.

sonlypuppyfat · 29/11/2013 10:22

edam I don't know why I don't like it, I know it doesn't make any sense I come from a family of loving men so I know its not a fear of raising softy boys!! I just always think cars and toy guns for boys, dolls for girls. I know I'm not right but thats me.

JanineStHubbins · 29/11/2013 10:26

I just always think cars and toy guns for boys, dolls for girls.

Sad That's a really depressing attitude.

sonlypuppyfat · 29/11/2013 10:36

Sorry Sad

WhyDoTheyDoThat · 29/11/2013 10:39

Do you normally ask your DH's permission when buying your child toys? How odd.

mummylin2495 · 29/11/2013 10:51

My hairdresser has a little boy of five and he is having a doll and a pram. His mum has no problem with this at all .no different than another friends daughter wanting cars.

ilovepowerhoop · 29/11/2013 10:56

ds wandered around with a boy baby doll on holiday when he was around 18 months old and had a wee doll pram for it too. Nothing wrong with it at all.

CA95616 · 29/11/2013 13:08

My Sisters husband wouldn't allow their son to have a doll and I know mine wouldn't if we had a boy. Tbh I wouldnt care enough to make a stand on this issue.

ilovepowerhoop · 29/11/2013 13:45

But if the child wanted a doll why on earth wouldnt you get them one. What is it going to do to them? It lets them explore their more nurturing caring side, it doesnt make them soft or turn them gay (not that I would mind if either dd or ds were gay, its not a disease!)

GuffSmuggler · 29/11/2013 14:01

Thanks to those that sent the cartoon, it's brilliant. I will be sending to my BIL who heavily criticised us getting our DS a doll and pushchair (which he loves) He has also banned his own son for playing with any 'female' toys such as a toy cooker which he desperately wants Angry Sad

This is why the Let Toys be Toys campaign is so important IMO to get rid of these ridiculous outdated opinions. OP there are some really good explanations on the website about why things like dolls shouldn't be just for girls.

www.lettoysbetoys.org.uk/

If you like them on FB you can keep up with what they are doing. They are having a massive impact on retailers not branding certain toys 'girls' and 'boys'. I think some MNers started it.

Lucylouby · 29/11/2013 14:28

I bought DH an action man the year ds got a doll for Christmas. They both got dolls together. Ds is now 5 and doesn't play with his doll anymore, but has moved on to the action man in the past few months, so it wasn't a waste of money. It's only a doll. If you had a dd would she be allowed a toy car or would that not be allowed in case she turns out all masculine and Tom boyish?

CaroBeaner · 29/11/2013 15:08

My DS had a doll for Christmas when he was 5. He asked for it, was excited about it, it was a girl doll, he played with her. It is NORMAL for boys to want to play with the toys they see around them.

It is NOT NORMAL for adults to restrict this and for boys NOT to play with dolls.

Really, why are men so disckwittish about this, I wonder? Why is it such a threat to them?

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