MN Christmas Appeal 2013

[SandyMumsnet]

Can you hear the faint tinkle of Santa's sleigh bells? Are you trying to remember where you stashed your fabulous reindeer jumper? [tchgrin]

Hurrah! That must mean Christmas is [ahem] just around the corner and the Mumsnet Christmas Appeal is gearing up for another year of festive generosity and merriment.

The MNers' heartfelt community spirit is being unleashed for the fourth year in-house. If you're new to the site or need to refresh you memory, please check out how this wonderful Secret Santa gift exchange came about. In short MNetters nominate a worthy recipient and also donate gifts to other MNetters in a HUGE anonymous Secret Santa.

And for those of you who like the sound of the whole thing and are keen to spread the Christmas cheer, here's how it all works.

So if you know of a MNer who could do with a bit of a boost, help towards making their Christmas more enjoyable, or is just particularly luffly, please go to our NOMINATION PAGE to tell us about them. You have until 15th October.

We'll then drop all the nominees a line to ask for their addresses, ages/sex of any DC along with any further family details they're happy to share. This information needs to be with us by 29th October.

If you'd like to add something special to a MNers' Christmas by donating a gift, thank you! Please go to our DONATION PAGE where you can tell us about the gift you'd like to pledge. We love vouchers because they're easier to match, but we'd be delighted with all sorts. Remember, nothing is too small. You have until 29th October.

By 22nd November we will be awash with Baileys The Christmas Spirit liquor, but will have matched up all the donations with the nominees and will send out a Secret Santa mail to the donators so all you lovely folk can get your parcels off well before the final Christmas post. Parcels are addressed to the MNetter of the House (unless otherwise stated) to try to maintain anonymity.

This whole process is anonymous, we do not pass over RL or Talk names.

Donators and nominees are given a code to quote if they want to say thank you to one another on the MN thank you thread following the gifts being sent out.

Any questions about the frankly terribly confusing process, please do ask, or take a look at our FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS. [tchgrin] [tchgrin]

And so may MNHQ be the first to wish you a very Merry Christmas!

Have donated. Many posters have helped me out more than they will know this year and want to say a huge thank you.

yy sparkly
a hunk of two year old

That has gone so fast nickel.

I do feel that the MN Secret Santa Appeal is a very good thing and definitely in the spirit of Christmas but I do feel that sometimes it can also go a bit over the top - I guess that's bound to happen with something that has now become so huge.

I agree that everyone who receives something should acknowledge it and I did notice on the Thank You thread last year that so many gushed about the more expensive gifts and perhaps mentioned in passing a less expensive gift by someone else or not at all, this led to many donators having to post to ask if their gifts had been received and worrying about whether it had got there or not.

This is what I meant about people NOT posting details of what or how much they were donating as it raises expectations and puts other people off donating lesser gifts.

I also think it would help if the donator knew why that person had been nominated because if that person has been nominated for say, being a good brick, yet that person is not short of cash then they might not require lots more toys for their dcs, yet might be really appreciative of some chocs for themselves, as a way of Mumsnet showing its collective gratitude to a poster who always makes time for others.

I don't know how people are matched up, but it really would help if the donators had some idea of why that person was nominated so they can buy accordingly. Do you see what I mean?

And whilst some Mumsnetters may be in real need at Christmas (and so many are because of governmental cuts) people shouldn't forget local food banks and shelters too which cater for the very desperate people.

Christmas can be such a hard time for so many people, not just in terms of hardship but also in terms of loss or displacement and this is where Mumsnet really comes into its own as posters are nominated for a wide range of reasons.

But every nominee should be reminded that a simple thank you can go a long way and every donator should be reminded that discretion is everything and it's not about how much you can give and advertising that fact on the board, but about the spirit of the thing. So stay anonymous and hold that warm fuzzy feeling you get inside as your reward.

@THERhubarb

I do feel that the MN Secret Santa Appeal is a very good thing and definitely in the spirit of Christmas but I do feel that sometimes it can also go a bit over the top - I guess that's bound to happen with something that has now become so huge.

I agree that everyone who receives something should acknowledge it and I did notice on the Thank You thread last year that so many gushed about the more expensive gifts and perhaps mentioned in passing a less expensive gift by someone else or not at all, this led to many donators having to post to ask if their gifts had been received and worrying about whether it had got there or not.

This is what I meant about people NOT posting details of what or how much they were donating as it raises expectations and puts other people off donating lesser gifts.

I also think it would help if the donator knew why that person had been nominated because if that person has been nominated for say, being a good brick, yet that person is not short of cash then they might not require lots more toys for their dcs, yet might be really appreciative of some chocs for themselves, as a way of Mumsnet showing its collective gratitude to a poster who always makes time for others.

I don't know how people are matched up, but it really would help if the donators had some idea of why that person was nominated so they can buy accordingly. Do you see what I mean?

And whilst some Mumsnetters may be in real need at Christmas (and so many are because of governmental cuts) people shouldn't forget local food banks and shelters too which cater for the very desperate people.

Christmas can be such a hard time for so many people, not just in terms of hardship but also in terms of loss or displacement and this is where Mumsnet really comes into its own as posters are nominated for a wide range of reasons.

But every nominee should be reminded that a simple thank you can go a long way and every donator should be reminded that discretion is everything and it's not about how much you can give and advertising that fact on the board, but about the spirit of the thing. So stay anonymous and hold that warm fuzzy feeling you get inside as your reward.

Hi all,

We start this in October as we manually match every single donation and nomination. It takes a long time. We do look at circumstance and we match accordingly. Sometimes we get it a bit wrong, but on the whole, we try and make it fair.

With regards to posting thanks, most people do - some don't.

A few years ago (some minor details changed to protect identities) we had two MNetters who were nominated. One who had been through a bereavement and another who had a very ill child. Neither of these MNetters posted to say thank you, we totally understood. The parent of the ill child spent Christmas and many months afterwards in hospital - the bereaved MNetter stopped posting.

There are circumstances where those in the worst positions cannot reply, we at HQ can look into it and make a judgement call at that time whether or not it is appropriate to ask them if they had received their gift. We didn't feel that was the case in these two circumstances.

We can't give you this info and from an internal POV, it can be frustrating. We can nod that it may not be possible for them to be in touch right now, but we can't confirm receipt. I will stress that this is not a regular occurrence. Please do mail us if you are concerned and we can take a look.

I emailed Royal Mail:

Dear nickel

Thank you for contacting Royal Mail regarding the problems experienced by Mumsnetters when attempting to collect their Secret Santa items from their local Delivery Offices.

I understand from your email that the problem is caused by the use of Mumsnetters of the house being used on the package which then not be correctly matched up with the name on Identification shown when collecting items.
Whilst I can fully appreciate the inconvenience caused by the recipients not being able to collect their items. It may help if I explain that the staff at your Delivery Office are not being deliberately unhelpful but are under strict rules that the name shown on the identification must match the name on the item. These rules are in place for the safety and security of the mail.

May I suggest that as an alternative to collecting the items, they can arrange a redelivery at www.royalmail.com/redelivery, in this way the name on the item would not pose a problem unless sent using our Special Delivery service and the redelivery is arranged to go to the local Post Office. First or Second class (including Recorded signed for) items can also be redelivered to another address within the local postcode area.

I have however logged your concerns in this matter onto our system which will be considered during future reviews.
Thanks for contacting us and please accept my apologies for any inconvenience this may have caused.

Regards

Jean Crawford
Customer Service Advisor

-- ORIGINAL MESSAGE -
FROM:
Enquiry Detail: Hi, Every year, Mumsnet.com does a Secret Santa present swapping appeal. whereby Mumsnetters can send presents to someone who might need one (to feel a bit loved and special, you see) Most of these are sent through Royal Mail. Because Mumsnet is an anonymous forum, all presents are addressed to "The Mumsnetter of the House" followed by the address. In previous years, it has meant that the Callers' Office has refused to hand over parcels because "you haven't got ID in the name of Mumnsetter" This isn't a small scale things - I think last year, there were a couple of thousand parcels being sent. Is is possible, please, to get an email sent to all Callers' Offices, to be printed out that as long as "the Mumsnetter of the house" has got her ADDRESS on the ID she shows you, that the parcels be handed over? I know from the discussions, that lots of Mumsnetters are recommending using courier firms instead of Royal Mail because of this issue (because of the signature thing) It could potentially cost you a few thousand pounds worht of business every year not to flag this issue up at every branch. Here's the thread so you can see what the problem is, and what the scheme is all about. Thank you very much for listening

Well done nickelbabe

well, I didn't get the response I hoped for! :(

I didn't get a response at all Nickelbabe but I also asked if just having the address with no name and no mention of "to the mumsnetter" on it would be okay.

That way, anyone with ID for the address should be able to collect it.

So perhaps we could remind donors to just not write that on the external packaging but put it somewhere inside instead.

A reply from Royal Mail just came through.

They do suggest leaving off a recipients name and only writing an address on the parcel and not a name or anything that might look like a name (A Mumsnetter, For The Mumsnetter etc)

They did say that you could put a senders address on the parcel if you wish or, since this is anonymous, just writing Sender: A Mumsnetter on the parcel so the person receiving it will still know it's their MN gift.

THERhubarb
... it would help if the donator knew why that person had been nominated because if that person has been nominated for say, being a good brick, yet that person is not short of cash then they might not require lots more toys for their dcs, yet might be really appreciative of some chocs for themselves, as a way of Mumsnet showing its collective gratitude to a poster who always makes time for others.

I don't know how people are matched up, but it really would help if the donators had some idea of why that person was nominated so they can buy accordingly. Do you see what I mean?

Great post. This is exactly the point I was trying to make upthread. Is it not possible to have a few broad, non-specific categories such as "Having a tough year"(i.e. needs essentials and treats), "Needs cheering up" (i.e. needs fewer essentials and more treats), "General good egg" (doesn't need essentials, send a reward), etc to give people a clue? Last year I sent vouchers as I had no idea what my mnetter needed but I would have liked to be able to send a more thoughtful gift and felt a bit uncomfortable sending that amount not knowing if that was the best choice. For example, if I sent vouchers for a shop that was not easy to get to, to somebody with no transport.

This is giving me palpitations just thinking about it, no wonder MN Towers need gin! Good luck Mumsnet!

After this thread MN will be having second thoughts....

So .... maybe the idea is to send it to the address only, so that (if needs be) it can be collected from the sorting office with someone with the correct address ID.

But double-wrap, so the inside of of the gift says "To The Mumsnetter Of The House".

Last year I was a recipient. I didn't tell DP about it ('cos I thought he'd think it was slightly bonkers ).

Gift didn't arrive - or so I thought. It was only on Christmas Day when DP handed over a parcel to me - he'd thought it was a present from his adult DD to me, which he'd taken delivery of whilst I was out one day. Quite why he thought that she had sent me a present addressed to "The Mumsnetter Of The House", as opposed to 'FruOla', I have no idea .

But, of course, it was highly embarrassing that I hadn't thanked my donor beforehand - so could only make my thanks on the thread on Boxing Day.

Oh, I do like the "general category of nomination" idea.

I like the general category idea too.

Last year there were a fair number of recipients who said they couldn't thank personally because they hadn't made a note of the code on the parcel.

Maybe MN should emphasise on their email telling recipients they have been nominated how much the donors appreciate knowing that the parcel has arrived, and a link to the "received" thread, along with a reminder to make a note of the MN code on the parcel?

Last year my recipient didn't get around to saying she had received the parcel for a couple of weeks. In that time I was convinced that the parcel had gone astray and my effort had been wasted. (I have namechanged since last year, so my recipient will not know I am talking about her now!)

I wasn't looking for thanks, I just wanted to know that someone who was expecting a parcel had received one and wasn't sitting there thinking that they had been forgotten.

I really don't think it is much to ask for a recipient to post to say they have received a parcel, even if they want to namechange to do it.

I think being nominated shouldn't mean that you expect a parcel.

Folks vary. Some are well-meaning but disorganised. Some have unexpected disasters/problems and can't fulfil their promises nor prioritise notification of this. Some are super-efficient.

They are all however, anonymous, and MN can't control the quality/efficiency/seriousness of the posters who offer to donate and their intentions.

Therefore posters should separate nomination from 'receiving' and simply be grateful for whatever turns up, or doesn't.

SparklingBrooks do you not feel it is important to get these issues ironed out?

I specifically remember some Mumsnetters not being able to collect their parcels from the sorting office because of the name issue. It's not something that can be ignored as it caused some distress and a lot of inconvenience at the time. It's worth flagging this up as an issue and getting it sorted - so thanks Nickelbabe. Perhaps MNHQ could ask donators not to address parcels to The Mumsnetter but merely to put an address on there, so that anyone from that address can collect it.

I would really advise that senders also include senders details on the parcel too, just in case it does go missing. And keep the receipt as proof of postage.

I can fully understand how some posters may find it difficult to acknowledge parcels through a variety of issues but also how donators are keen to ensure that their parcel was delivered. I guess that probably can't be resolved easily, just to remind recipients how vital it is to send a quick line even to say that the parcel arrived safely.

I think the response I received from Rebecca was a good one and I feel better knowing that this year, donators are asked what items they are able to give so that they can be matched up appropriately. MNHQ know why people are nominated so I feel we can totally trust their discretion when matching up donators to recipients.

Let's hope we can all spread a little festive cheer this Christmas, not just on Mumsnet but everywhere we can

Perhaps I was unaware of all the problems Rhubarb. I donated last year then didn't give it another thought.

I look forward to this every year....thank you for organising the massed ranks of MNers once again.

Spreadsheets ahoy and tissues to the ready!

I donated last year, I have no idea if my parcel was received ok as I never saw an acknowledgement on the thank you thread. It doesn't bother me that the MNer didn't post, I just hope my box was received and that it helped someone out.

I will donate this year.

MN I keep trying to nominate people and every time I do it I keep getting told that the nickname doesn't exist.

I have done a search and the names I am nominating do exist but it keeps telling me they don't.

Please could we have a look into this as I really don't want people to miss out because of a problem with the page.

Thanks