Ok so how many of us buy our own presents from our other halves......

[Adviceinscotland]

And more importantly are you ok with it?

Dh had "bought" me two presents that I really really want this year. I have been online sourced & ordered them. I am getting two presents I really want that were supposed to be £210 for £97.

I'm happy with the gifts (obviously) but a little childish part of me is sad that I never get surprises. Then again if i did get surprises chances are it would be money wasted.

Does everyone else get surprises or do you see to gifts yourself?

I used to. Then I whined incessantly about buying presents for everyone including all of his family and why the actual could he not be arsed to get one present for me?

He's been buying for me now for 3 years and I have been taken aback at his thoughtfulness and care. but Jesus does he need recognition for it

Are these husbands of yours really so incompetent at sourcing things and comparing prices?

The surprise and thought put into a present for me is as important as the present itself. And my husband would be (rightly) pretty pissed off if I implied that he was incapable of comparing prices and making savings himself.

My DH tried to buy me surprise this year in addition to what I wanted ( coat that I have been wearing for last 3 months) but he took DS 8 with him who cannot keep a secret and told me that daddy had bought some earrings for himself not for me! And no before anyone asks he does not and never will have his ears pierced.
We tend to get useful presents for each other with a few token surprises.

Have to agree, Widow. There's a fair bit of infantilising going on here. Not saying it's not warranted for some but lordy lord.

ashes and widow not necessarily infantilising, my DP probably does more in terms of christmas prep etc than I do eg buying presents for children and grocery shopping, just this year I wanted boots hence needed to hunt them down and try them on, just easier to buy them then and there.
Don't like it when women do everything for xmas including having to get their own gift though, seems hugely unfair.

A one off in a case like that would be fine mizk but I would still expect to give him details of the ones I had found and for him to go purchase them. I realise views differ hugely on this but I am quite clear that this would be a complete deal breaker for me. I get very depressed at work listening to women talking about how their ohs don't buy them presents/are crap at buying presents, I can't help but think bollocks they just can't be arsed.

Having said that my DH is and always has been great at picking presents out, so I suppose it's easy for me to say, I don't fear being presented with a frying pan/pair of tights/glass dildo.

My DH always gets my present. Usually I drop some strong hints, but I never tell him outright what I would like. He's bought me some amazing handbags over the years and one year, completely unexpectedly, a sewing machine, which I instantly loved even though I didn't know I wanted one. I still wear the earrings he bought me in 2004 on most days......

This year we've bought ourselves a joint present but he's still going to get me a little extra something, just because.

I would think less of him if he couldn't think of SOMETHING to buy me for Christmas. I'm no less fussy or controlling than some others on this thread, but there's always the option of a refund or exchange if I don't like it (the shirt he bought me last year was completely the wrong colour but I swapped it for two other items in the sale, so was perfectly happy).

After the remote control, which was as close as I think I have ever got to LTB. He gets very detailed instructions.

Yes he handed me a neatly wrapped parcel. in which there was a nice necklace type black box. In which was a spare remote control.

For fucks sake it's him who gets huffy when it's lost, not me.

Had my parents not been there I think he might of died a painful death.

Yup Widow, dh is capable. But always for some ridiculous reason is afraid to spend too little and so would spend to much.

Would it make you feel better if I admit that he buys his own presents too . This year he is getting new runners, a radio alarm clock and random socks/hats etc. All chosen by him.

Romance is dead in our house. But it doesn't really matter.

DP has some odd kind of selective hearing that would result in him picking up on a wistful 'ooh I remember when I was a kid' (& pitching up with something like a soda stream), but would completely miss 'ooh see that bag, that's lovely, I particularly like the purple - look isn't it lovely!'. Thus I usually choose my own 'main present'.

He's just as bad as a total gadget freak, but it has to be exactly the right gadget for the right reasons and if I had to listen to his reviews of reviews across a product range I'd go batshit mental Thus he usually chooses these.

If it's smaller things we're usually okay. He's pretty good with underwear & perfume. Reasonable with jewellery (his mum's ace, which helps). We would both hate it if we spent hundreds on the other and got it wrong though - up to £50 I can live with as most of the time it'll be something nice.

Yes i too have bought my presents from DH and DS.

He could do it himself but it's a really busy time of year for him plus he shows his love and support in a million other ways. I don't need a gift on a particular day to confirm his love iykwim.

And he's shit at shopping!

See, I don't really see the difference between me buying my own presents and me taking dh around the shops pointing out what he should buy

Surely my way is easier?

He tends to get me little things but big things I often get. Although this year I am getting a new camera ( yippee) and although it was the one that I have been waiting for and for it to come down in price, I thought I was going to have to wait longer, but I just happened to spot it in the black friday week deals on the first day, so bought it, but through our amazon account which is actually really his amazon account so he paid for it, which is better and better.

I've also just bought several of his presents through amazon, and didn't realise until a little while ago that as it is in his name a) he is paying for his own presents and b) he now knows what is coming as they send the confirmation email to his account. doh.

And yes, I've had the really dodgy presents in the past! We're both happy to do it this way, means we both get what we want. sometimes I give him a list of several things and he gets just some of them so there is an element of surprise.

hmmm I drop massive hints.

DH used to be utterly useless at gift buying, but after one particularly horrific birthday, he now puts in soooo much effort into buying utterly fab gifts!!

Well, it normally goes something like this:

Mid November - DH - "well, what do you want for Christmas, then?"
Me - "Hmm....whatever....just something nice"

End November - DH - "if you don't tell me what you want I won't buy you anything"
Me - "okaaay"

Early December - DH - "I haven't bought you anything, you know"

Mid-December - me - "well....I quite like that pair of boots / that foodmixer / that necklace"
DH (off the hook at last) - "Great! Order it, and I'll put it under the tree for you"

Actually, I'm being a bit unfair - he knows I'm a fussy cow who would no doubt find fault if he chose something himself. He does buy some nice surprises for the DCs to give me. And he's still in credit after arranging a surprise holiday in The Maldives for my 40th.

We all have a www.whattogive.com list in our house plus I have a Dream Sheet on Pinterest of stuff I don't expect but would LOVE. Can't bear money being wasted on crap no one wants

When I was pregnant (I do a lot of sewing!) I explained what a serger/overlocker was, and how expensive they are, and how I planned to stick to sewing woven/cotton material, because knit or fleece fabric is hard to deal with in a regular machine.

Imagine my surprise when I received an overlocker for Christmas! It was a big present, and I imagine very expensive. I have so, so much fabric.... and that is what I really love, sewing. I have so many patterns, fabric, etc that people don't know what to get me. And I have used that serger a lot! So getting little bits now for myself is nothing. My DP can be thoughtful and shows it on a daily basis. So what if he's not great at the "red letter" days? It was the way he was brought up....

My family was very poor, so we saved up and sewed for ages to make things for each other at Christmas. The build-up was the big event I now realise. DP feels no excitement at the buildup.... he just wants it to be over and normal life resumed.

And yes, I love practical gifts. My DS is not even 3 and picked out a new set of measuring cups at the local kitchen shop - we love baking, and I have taught him well!

I have bought and wrapped my santa prezzies and bought myself some more books to go under the tree, but I do know that DH has had a couple of Amazon parcels arrive so assuming he has got me a couple of things of my wishlist too.

It doesn't bother me at all because most of the time I don't really know what I would like so how is he supposed to! He has given me some great surprises in the past though so not completely hopeless.

This is the first Xmas I ever have. And that was because I was in Coach and they only had one left of the bag I was coveting. So I bought it! No worries from me!!

DH always chooses my presents, and they are usually brilliant and very often something I would never have thought of.

We each have our own 'pocket money' anyway - £20 a month each for anything we want (we started it this year as a way of still being able to treat ourselves without spending more than we could afford) - so if there's something we really want we just use that. Xmas/birthdays are for surprises. :)

I did buy the last few stocking fillers for myself though as thanks to illness DH will not be able to go out to the shops now - we have agreed on including underwear and socks, and pyjamas for Xmas eve, so I just chose my own. I will wrap them myself so they are a surprise for him too :o

I am quite fussy with clothing (more to do with fit/comfort than appearance) so I do prefer to choose that myself and DH wouldn't give me clothes as a present because he knows this.

No, but DH does usually get quite a detailed list or some heavily specific hints. We also agree on roughly.what we're spending on each other ($100 this year).

Sometimes we are.really unromantic and send each other links to what we want online. We tend to get each other a thoughtful little 'surprise' as well, if that happens.
Gift-giving and showing youve given it some thought ar eimportant to me from DH. Early in our relationship there were some corkers and then he worked out that I'm a."show me you care" kind of person about it and has stepped up his.game impressively.

We dont have lots of spare.cash at the moment, so want to get each other something we actually want.

Forgot to say, I learned this yeat that Dsis buys her own presents from DBIL, who is in all respects a.great bloke - and it.diminished my respect for him somewhat. Cant work out why but it did. The politics of presents, eh?!

DP knows that I love surprises so he wouldnt dare ask for my help in choosing my presents.
So far he hasn't failed so hopefully this year he won't slip up.

I have to hint VERY heavily by leaving the present as a screen image on pc or he won't get any hint. DH is atrocious with presents as he buys it and then leaves the present next to me by the sofa. Last year my kindle (meant for my Jan birthday) was in its box on the sofa right next to me for 2 weeks till I opened it on Xmas Day and he said "Can't believe you didn't wait till your birthday!". This year's (guessing its a Tassimo! by the size and bag) is also next to sofa and he keeps saying how pleased he is with himself.

In the past I have had a Diana in Pictures book as an anniversary present, gold chain (after 17 years he hasn't sussed I NEVER wear or like yellow gold so I swapped it), and Fame the tv series on DVD as I mentioned I liked it as a child!

I also have to hint very heavily (in orther words say I'd like....) to DH's mother as her attitude is "Oh I'll just give you an envelope of money" which I think is incredibly lazy, and always feel temopted to say don't bother.