Those of you that have Chrismas with just your dp and dc - how do you put it to your parents?

[Nettee]

DH grew up with some Christmasses with just him, his brother and parents and he would like to do the same some years for us. I didn't do this and neither did my parents when they were growing up - we are all used to big extended family occasions.h

This year DH's parents want a quiet christmas and dh thinks it might be a good opportunity for just the five of us to celebrate together. (DS age 7, DDs age 5 and 0)

To add to the complication I am an only child as my dsis died in her 20s.

Writing this all down I just can't see how I could put it to my parents that we want to spend Christmas day without them without causing massive offence. On the other hand It feels a bit mean that we can never do Christmas the way dh would like to do it based on his happy childhood memories.

Anyone else had this sort of situation and what did you do?

How far away do you live from your parents? Do they need to visit for a chunk of time or you don't see them at all over the Xmas period, or are they close by? If close by, can you suggest doing something more special than usual on Xmas Eve or Boxing Day but keep Xmas Day just for your family?

We are kind of in this situation because my and DH's parents both live several hundred miles away from us (in opposite directions!) so we either see them for the whole Xmas period or not at all. Either way is less than ideal, to be honest!

We were worried about this but my parents said they really enjoyed the Christmas they had for just the two of them, they had pheasant and just relaxed. We made sure that they saw us over the Christmas period.
Mind you it was different for them as they'd lived with DM's Dad and then had DM's aunt living with them so it was the first time they'd had just the two of them

I would float the idea and see how they react, maybe as a this year or another year idea, maybe they would like to go on holiday, but might not organise it for this year. Dh and I had a christmas together just us when I was pg with dd1, we thought it was probably the first and last Christmas just the two of us until all our dc have left home/ have families. It was really nice. What do you usually do, do you usually see both sets of parents on Christmas Day itself?

We are having our first christmas on our own, i have told my mum and her partner that we want to have a chilled out day (no stress of feading extra people or going to visit family) but they are welcome to come over for a drink later in the day/early evening. My dad hasn't asked us yet, we spent last christmas with him and it was hard work with dd2 who has autism, she did not enjoy it at all so i hope they dont ask us this year, if they do i shall explain that we want a quiet christmas.

For the last few years we have had both sets of parents here and often bil and sil too. My parents always come down and stay nearby for the duration. They have a house near here. we used to alternate between parents but I pushed for a joint thing and it has been good. I should pluck up the courage to mention it as an idea even for next year perhaps.

When ds was born I explained to both my parents and the in laws that we would go to one of theirs the first christmas day and the other one the next. My mum asked us to go the 2nd christmas as ds would be older. After that we told them we would like Christmas on our own as a family as I grew up being rushed through christmas day as had to get to family members I didn't see the rest of the year and wasn't allowed to take anything with me and hated it. We go round on Christmas Eve and visit everyone and then its just me, dh, ds and dd Christmas day and boxing day. I love it and am fully aware that this means when my dc get older they may want to do the same with their families and I totally accept that as I can see them anytime not just at Christmas.