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Christmas

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Original poster

DH has to work on Christmas Day....soooo upset

84 replies

proserpine · 18/07/2012 07:44

DH was made redundant last year and has applied for everything going. A few weeks ago he was offered a job which sounded perfect, to our utter relief. He started on Monday and in his first training session it was casually mentioned that the office was open on Christmas Day and he would have to come in - they treat it like any other day. I know we should just stop moaning and be grateful he has a job when so many don't but this is such a blow.... For years, I hated Christmas due to bad memories, having no family etc. But spending the day with DH and DD had made it special and it's the biggest day of our year - we don't go on holiday or have any other 'big things' through the year - can't afford them - so a special family Christmas is what we look forward to all year. I usually start planning/buying about now, but this year I can't. DD is devastated too.
He's even got to pay £40 for taxis on the day.... Sorry for the rant, and for sounding so ungrateful. Just needed to vent :(

OP posts:
laracroft2001 · 18/07/2012 07:46

It's shit isn't it. My oh may have to work Xmas day as well and it's our first with DS and both our families live up north (we are in London)

Is there no way he could book a holiday day?

Methe · 18/07/2012 07:48

I'm going to be a little bit harsh here so i'll apologise for it in advance.

Get over it. Be thankful he has a job when millions don't. LOADS of people work christmas, I've worked every christmas eve/day throughout my working life.. it's just life.

I appreciate it's a bit shit, very few people like doing it but it's not worth getting devastated about.. in July!

Move your Christmas celebrations to another day.

SpottyTeacakes · 18/07/2012 07:49

That is really rubbish Sad could you have your Christmas on boxing day and spend Christmas day doing lots of festive things with your dd? Like making biscuits etc. I know it's not the same but try and make what you can out of a bad situation?

Hopefully they rotate it each year so it's not always the same people working Christmas day!

boredandrestless · 18/07/2012 07:49

How old is your DD? Is she at an age where you can reschedule Christmas day to the nearest non working day??

I know it's a bit of a shame but as its a definite then find positive ways around it.

Gigondas · 18/07/2012 07:49

If he can't can you make Xmas eve or boxing day your special day instead so you dont lose the experience. Sounds like dh having that job (even if on Xmas) worth it for your family. Also could he cab share or get a lift with someone to cut costs on that day.

My dad used to work occasional Xmas days so we varied routine to do our special Xmas time at other points. If dh is working then can you have nice cosy home time with dc.

poachedeggs · 18/07/2012 07:51

I think if you hang all your pleasure in life on one day then something is bound to go wrong anyway!

DH and I both do jobs which require us to work over Christmas so one of us is usually away. It's rubbish, but only as rubbish as you let it be. You can take various approaches from holding Christmas on an alternative day, staggering present opening to having your big meal at a weird time.

But honestly, having a secure job vastly eclipses the minor inconvenience of a disrupted Christmas. Really.

Hopeforever · 18/07/2012 07:52

I really question why some places are open on Sundays and Christmas day as they are special families days.

Having been a nurse and now a Vicar all but 6 Sundays and every single Christmas day is a work day Grin

Try and find someone else wh is the same situation as you, the OH of a police officer, nurse, Dr etc or a single parent and arrange to have a really fab fun day togethr and 'do' the traditional Christmas day a few days earlier or later with DH

So glad he has a job

RaisinDEtre · 18/07/2012 07:52

Yes it sucks but don't be devastated, use the long lead in to plan.

Chin up chick

ghosteditor · 18/07/2012 07:52

I'm sorry you're upset but please don't let it rub off on your DD; you can still plan a special day and presumably he won't be gone all day?

To put it in perspective, my DH is military and quite frequently spends Christmas in a war zone, or at work on call. Then we don't see him at all. Surely Christmas would be much worse if he had no job and you were worrying about losing your home and couldn't afford gifts?

I'm sure you'll find a way to make the day special.

Aboutlastnight · 18/07/2012 07:53

I work Xmas Day sometimes and it's shit, there's no getting away from it. But you can work round it. Choose boxing day to have 'Xmas' and make the best of it.

hattifattner · 18/07/2012 07:53

Its horrible, but its not the end of the world. Lots of people work christmas day, you just have to work around the time he is at work.

you could plan to do pressies before or after he goes to work. Have Christmas dinner when he gets home. Make a big deal of Christmas eve night - go to the panto, have a special treat.

Try and organise an alternate way to get to and from work, other than taxis. DOes he have a bike? Can he borrow a car for the day? Get a lift with a colleague?

Maybe you could try and find someone else who is in a similar situation - a single mum ? Get them over for a buffet lunch.

Now he has a job, he may find it easier to get another job, so if it really is a big deal for you both, he can start looking now or he can get a year under his belt and start looking next summer.

Lucyellensmum99 · 18/07/2012 07:53

he has a job, you sound like you were in shit creek - it must pay well if he is expected to be in an office (ie not a doctor/nurse/carer etc) on christmas day. I think your christmas would be a lot harder if he didnt have a job! Just do what other people do and have christmas on another day. Do you have family, yours or his, you can go to with the children, then have a special day the next time he is off?

milk · 18/07/2012 07:54

Pull a sickie on the day!!!

hattifattner · 18/07/2012 07:56

milk cos when you are in a new job, no one would suspect you are faking.....and it would be fine with management.

Sirzy · 18/07/2012 07:57

You will cope, it's up to you and your DH to make sure that Christmas is still special for your DD.

My dad retired two years ago. They have been the first two Christmases he hasn't worked we just planned the day around his shift.

Haemadoots · 18/07/2012 07:59

I get how upset you are really I do, dh has been away for the last 3 xmas's one of which we had to move house the week before (he missed that too), dh and I both have jobs that we have to work Xmas, my dc have been so upset over it (i am now an expert at building stuff) but you just have to accept it and try not to get too upset, make it special for the dc and maybe celebrate with your dh on boxing day if he is off.

EmptyCrispPackets · 18/07/2012 08:05

I've had to work Xmas, it sucks but it's life. We just did celebrations on another day.

I'll have this year off due to new baby but next year I'll for sure be working Xmas day, my kids will be 1, 7, 11.

ChopstheDuck · 18/07/2012 08:09

It is horrible, but just move Christmas! I'm assuming you aren't particularly religious? So there would be no reason why you can't shift it a few days.

One year we flew out to Florida on Xmas day, so we did Christmas the weekend before. The children didn't even notice it was the wrong day (we even rigged the advent calendars!) - we did the whole hog and Santa brought special personalised disney holiday tickets down the chimney!

Last year, we had a family get together on the day, and so it had to be vegetarian on the actual day - so the roast got moved a few days. And it was actually lovely to not have to spend the whole morning in the kitchen and be able to enjoy the kids a bit on the day.

It's really what you make of it, rather than a specific day.

Cokeaholic · 18/07/2012 08:14

Look on the brightside, Christmas will be easier due to the job boosting your financial position and you have found out a full 6 months in advance that he is working Christmas Day so you have plenty of time to think about how to make it special in a way that suits your family.

Please don't give your dh a hard time about it and your dd will only be miserable ("devastated" seems very dramatic) about it if you pass on that vibe to her. You are currently showing her that if things don't go the way you'd like them to then it's a tragedy. This is an excellent opportunity to show her the life skill of "Oh, we'll have to adapt and do things differently this year. Come on lets plan what we will do, and not focus on what we can't do"

Northernlurker · 18/07/2012 08:16

It will work out ok. Look at this way - if he didn't have a job you wouldn't be able to plan anyway because financially you'd be in a bad place and getting worse.
Think how you can do the day and still have a good time. If you spend the next 5 months thinking how sad you'll be then yes you will be sad! By next year he might have another job or it could be his turn to have the day off.
So pull yourself together a bit - this is NOT a disaster.

VivaLeBeaver · 18/07/2012 08:25

I don't know how old your dd is but I often have to work xmas day. Santa does a special early trip for the kids who have parents working on Xmas day. Not many people know about this as its a secret, we don't want other kids being jealous.

But on years I have to work we're on the early run and the presents come the day before. So Xmas day is on Xmas Eve. Presents, xmas dinner, everything.

the 25th is just a date - move the celebration.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 18/07/2012 08:26

It's really not that bad. Working Christmas is something you get used to, definitely more of an issue for the adults than the children ime.

I've worked many Christmases over the years, my dses really aren't bothered anymore, it's as much a part of christmas as pressies in our house.

Last year we completely did away with the big dinner because I worked Christmas eve and Christmas day night. It was great.....we had a chill out day, lots of lovely cold meat and nibble food. The dses had a great day, I napped throughout the day, dh got drunk! All fine.

It will be fine op, you just have to re adjust your way of thinking about Christmas, either move the big meal or do something different.

GemmaPomPom · 18/07/2012 08:27

My DH has worked on Christmas Day every year for the past 4 years. You just have to make the best of it. We always go out for a meal on Christmas Eve, open presents (early) on Christmas Day then have our Christmas Dinner in the evening.

It's not the end of the world.

ElephantsCanRemember · 18/07/2012 08:31

It isn't the end of the world. Christmas is what you choose to make it.
My dh has worked most Christmas days since we got together, and I grew up with my mum regularly working either Christmas day, or Christmas Eve and then Christmas night. Sometimes you just move the day, others you celebrate on the day the best you can.
Certainly when DC are part of the equation if you tell them it is awful and a disaster then that is what it will end up being. But if you just accept, adjust your thinking and find a different way to celebrate then it will be fine.

Original poster
proserpine · 18/07/2012 08:31

Thank you all :)
Lucyellensmum, sadly it doesn't pay well at all - just a couple of quid over minimum wage. Neither of us have family/friends me and DD could spend the day with - it's one of the reasons we've built Christmas up to be as special as it is, made our own family traditions etc. It's just us three against the world! :)
He'll be working all Christmas week and New Year week, just the usual day and a half/two days off he usually has, Saturday and Sunday (he has to work some half Saturdays).
Milk, if he pulled a sickie he wouldn't get paid - another wee surprise on Monday, no sick pay! Lucky he's the healthy sort :)
I'm sorry to be so self indulgent, especially when some of you will have OHs in warzones.... And I know how lucky he is to have a job at all. I can't work due to disability so his wage is essential.

OP posts: