Your top tips for getting through grit-your-teeth family Christmases

[LePruneDeMaTante]

Booze, obviously.

I had such a hard time with my egomaniacal MIL last year, and this year is shaping up the same. I think she really dislikes me, either that or she's unhealthily in love with her other son.

I need a mantra

me too leprune, me too.
apart from vast amounts of vodka, which is always an option, the thing that gets me through is thinking about all the other people who are suffering too.
not cheery. not festive. but it does help. when i stay with my in-laws i feel i've been transported against my will to a japanese endurance test game show, where i am always the loser.

and the problem with the vodka is i daren't get really pissed (and one does lead so nicely into another), in case i let slip any vital information that mil can later use in evidence against me.

she's wasted really. the KGB could really use a woman like her

Your post made me laugh baskingseals Sorry.

MIL keeps going on about the fact that there are lots of places in the house to escape to...It just makes me feel like she'd like to stick me in a corner and be done

Anyway I should probably just stick to mainlining sherry rather than dwell on it.

and there it is in a nutshell.

just don't give a damn - it's the only thing that works, but it has taken me years to get to this point, that woman has had me in tears so many times, and finally i grew some balls, and now i just save up all the awful things she says and does, to tell my friends so we can mock her. works for me. just.

I've done 4 years with mil who has been invited with us to my parents.

She's been terrible for four years and Christmas has been worse!

She has a party Christmas eve and I'm not invited, and never have been.

This year she's made my life hell and my parents have decided not to invite her!

I feel like a massive weight has been lifted!

In Previous years I have just sunk a bottle of wine with dinner! Although last year this did lead to me saying rather loudly (drunken whisper) that mil was an 'ignorant. Cow' she had completely ignored me in my family home though!

Aaaaaand breathe!

Aw, but at least yours is really obviously horrible
Mine can be lovely, but suffers from zero tact and questionable social skills, unless you are a frothy zany type, in which case you're her best pal immediately.
Guess how frothy and zany I am. [straight face]

You see she is like that, she will pretend she hasn't heard me! She hates me as I 'took her boy away' and acts like I'm horrid to her!

She has a list of things I've done wrong! It's laughable!

booze doesnt always work. My MIL now treats me like I'm an alcoholic because I need so much of the stuff to deal with her.

leprune, she is not obvious AT ALL
oh no
she's subtle. it's like being gaslighted by a consumate game player.
taken me years to work her out.

dh is the younger of 2 brothers. last time i was there was at easter. at breakfast the whole family is there chomping away i say
'mil, would you like any toast - just putting some in the toaster'

Oh no thanks

about 2 minutes later dh's brother says ' would anyone like any toast?'
mil says 'oh that would be lovely darling, thank you'

it's that sort of thing

Storm, grim times eh?
MrsTwinks
baskingseals, I understand perfectly. I would probably not get an answer to my offer, I would get a stare, and a "What?" as if she hadn't heard.

And then DH's brother (or his wife) would get, girly voice turned up to the max, "I'm getting some toast, would someone make me some tea as well? I'm going to get looked after for once." This actually happened last year, substitute tea and toast for wine (but )

I find family bingo is good, but it only works if your partner or a like minded sibling are in on it.

DH and I will be doing this soon, will work out in the car what's on the list this year.

Normally includes SIL doing her stupid annoying laugh, BIL/SIL saying something racist, MIL bitching about FIL the minute he goes to bed, and many many more. It's less annoying somehow when you're watching out for it and trying not to let your eyes meet as you'll start a giggling fit.

gin and plenty of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Failing that, just agree with everything she says and get her sloshed so she slopes off to bed early or snores on the sofa!

oh Yankncock, I do so wish DH would do that.
I have never met a family so unable to laugh at themselves, either individually or as a group.

Try and have a sense of humour about most things and they don't get it.
Mind you dh says I have a weird sense of humour and he may be right.

oh yes, the manipulation of each son and his respective family.
mil changes the family photographs on the mantelpiece depending on who is in
favour.

needless to say it's been a nice big shiny photo of bil and sil for the last five years

LePrune I aint kidding. In an effort to circumvent her insisiting we go to her all day next year when we hopefully have DC's I have invited her for breakfast & pressie opening (also to save SIL having to deal with her all day). The face she gave me when I said it would include bucks fizz was classic! well we wont be having THAT she said. I'm blatently an alcoholic because I have bucks fizz for breakfast at christmas.

funny thing was FIL looked like he LOVED the idea before her comment cut him dead

I don't think the toast thing is that bad -I can see how maybe she feels she wants her son to make it for her, because she's made him so many pieces of toast in the past and she may not want to cause extra trouble for her dil. Its something my rather lovely mil would do. It doesn't bother me, but I can see how it could be meant differently.

Imagine yourself posting things on mumsnet as annoying things happen throughout the days and then imagine the kind of funny/supportive responses you'd get.
Might help you see the funny side of it/put things in perspective?

Then store it all and post it on mumsnet at the earliest opportunity. I bet it would be a popular thread!

trust me orange
she's not on my side

Forget just making up the posts in your head, can you get on MN from there and live post any insanity? Certainly helped me two years ago when we had 'A Very Racist Christmas'. I just about managed to keep my cool by posting on MN.

Justonemorethread, with my phone, I can now make that happen in real time, only no bugger will be reading

No, what'll happen is I'll just grit my teeth, enjoy what I can, and remember that MIL is so spectacularly tactless that 2 months after I had a miscarriage, she gave me a book of knitting patterns for baby clothes. (To her credit, you could see the realisation on her face as she handed it over, only it was too late...) Completely random but just an example. I think a third of what she does isn't meant, a third probably is, and a third is me being a fool.

Yankncock, I sure can. After all there are lots of places in the house I can be banished to and post from my phone

Yank, we play family bingo too. And Daily Mail bingo (first to spot statements lifted from DM story wins). Choc bar stashed in the car for the winner of 'most outrageous sentence' of the day competition.

It has kept us sane for 17 years now

I'm so glad I started this thread.
You have to imagine me sent to an inaccessible part of the house, clutching a bottle of sherry, cackling to myself as I play MonsterMIL Bingo alone in my head.

I'm going to start a MIL thread to keep us going on Christmas day. We can all follow on our phones while sitting in cupboards with bottles of sherry.

CMOT - Loving the idea of playing Daily Fail Bingo. Just genius .