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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

Those who say they don't buy for any adults ....

56 replies

nappyaddict · 28/10/2011 10:05

I would like to do this but I'm in a bit of a quandry.

What about your parents/grandparents?

What about if your siblings/godparents/children's godparents don't have children of their own?

What about if you have elderley relatives who don't have children or have grown up children and they buy something for your DC?

OP posts:
fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 28/10/2011 10:08

I've just realised I thouhgt I had all my presents sorted, when what I really meant was that the kids presents are all bought. I have 2 teenage siblings who live at home with my parents so I'm going to make a hamper for all of them, I think it'll be cheaper than buying individually. For grandparents I think we'll do homemade things, like biscuits or fudge or pick a nice picture of the dc to put in a frame for them, or a bottle of something. I don't think most adults are bothered about not getting showy gifts, I know I don't expect any presents at Christmas. My biggest problem is that dp's 30th is 3 days before Christmas....

crystalglasses · 28/10/2011 10:12

I think that some people who don't have children often expect something nice in return for their presents to the kids.

olibeansmummy · 28/10/2011 10:13

We buy for my parents and teenage brother. We agreed with dsis and SIL to only buy for children and DH's parents said not to buy for them and they don't buy for us (but do buy for ds). My older younger brother (if that makes sense) doesn't even bother getting ds anything for his birthday or xmas,, so we wont be buying for him. I don't have any grandparents left but DH has one set although we don't buy for them or them for us (they also give ds some money).

fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 28/10/2011 10:14

Yes I agree it's nice to reciprocate if they buy for your dc, in these cases I think something nice actually made by the dc is appropriate. I know my elderly aunt much prefers this rather then the ubiquitous lavender soap people think old people love.

mousyfledermaus · 28/10/2011 10:15

My parents/inlaws/siblings get a framed photo of the dc. that's it.

Tommy · 28/10/2011 10:17

we did Secret Santa for the adults in my family a couple of years ago and that was a great success.

Always give the school photo or similar to godparents

I know it sounds ungrateful but my SIL (DH's sister) always tries to buy us a present and we end up with gifts that make us go Hmm. We'd rather just have wine TBH. I think there's enough trouble trying to buy for children never mind adults who don't "need" anything

Isla77 · 28/10/2011 12:02

I buy for my sister who does not have a partner or children and would not have many gifts otherwise. I tend to get one main present plus a few little things so she has a few parcels to open and the DC do something for her too. My brother buys for her but not for us. I send wine to my brother. My sister sends to us and DC but my brother does not. I just do what I want to do and let the family go their own way. Sadly, we now have no grandparents.

winterwalks · 28/10/2011 13:01

Isla - you have a lovely heart

HoorahHenrietta · 28/10/2011 13:39

I buy for my son (soon to be 2dc!) and for my 5 neices and nephews. (One nephew and SIL have birthdays on boxing day).

I buy for my mother, father, mil, fil and that's it aside from the said children.

I make a batch of Christmas biscuits and jam for sister and bil x 2 and sil and her husband.

Mrsrobertduvall · 28/10/2011 13:44

Apart from dh, I only buy for the dcs.
Everyone's either dead Sad or we have come to an agreement.
I think dh might get something for his dad like a subscription.
Dcs only get presents from grandad and my brother..but I never see my brother at Xmas.

blondie74 · 28/10/2011 13:58

MIL has instigated a "no presents for adults" rule but it kind of falls over as she continues to buy for everyone regardless of her own ruling Confused. The siblings don't buy for each other any more but as we are the only ones with a DC everyone buys presents for DC. This seemed unfair to us so we buy presents for the adults from DC.

WitchesAreComing · 28/10/2011 14:08

It is a sodding minefield. Really simple on my side because my parents have two DDs who have two DC each so my sister and I will buy for them (four presents) and they will buy for the four DGC.

DH's family have all sorts of complications. He still has his lovely grandmother so that's an extra generation and we always want to buy something lovely for her but she still has Christmas presents from the sixties unused!

DH's older sister is married to a millionaire and they just buy what they want when they want it (so would I) but they are expecting their first baby soon so presents from us for the baby, a nice chance to do something.

He has one sister who is in her early twenties who might kick off about the adult-only presents but it has been made clear that she doesn't have to give presents to the children since she doesn't have any.

Anyway. If anyone complains I am going to have them all round for a lovely shared- family meal Grin

catweazle · 28/10/2011 14:29

We have always bought for our parents and our grandparents (sadly GPs no longer with us). Parents also buy for us but ILs tend to spend about £15 on each of us and my mum up to about £20, so we aren't talking megabucks.

We do still buy for our adult children, and expect them to buy for us and their little sister.

We don't buy for our siblings, aunties/uncles, cousins etc and they don't buy for us. The only thing that does make me cross is that I bought for the nephews and nieces (who are older than our kids), and my cousins, from when they were born until they were 18. When I stopped buying for them, our brothers stopped buying for our kids, who were well under 18.

We send a couple of older aunties a photo of DD every year, and one of them buys us a tin of biscuits/ sweets for the family.

WhoWhoWhoWho · 28/10/2011 14:44

We instigated this rule once we all started having dcs (if any of us didn't have dc I would buy for them as they buy for mine, we all have kids though so that's not an issue in my family). I buy for my mum and nana as they both live alone and I like them to feel the love. Grin

I also buy for DS's teaching assistant, and my lovely BIL cos they are both stars.

Oh and DS gives his dad a present, nothing expensive just a token gift.

spendthrift · 28/10/2011 21:21

Gosh, we buy for everyone! we did stop buying for cousins when we were all about 25 but not until then. But we don't spend very much.

But our childminders had a custom of setting a financial limit on the presents between adults within in the immediate family, which forced people to think hard and/or to make things. It sounded really sensible.

smackapacca · 28/10/2011 21:24

We used to do secret santa for adults, but we're so broke now that I've just been honest and said please don't buy for us. People seem to understand.

They can see we're economizing, working more etc. So it's obvious that it is an unnecessary expense at the moment.

SquongebobSparepants · 28/10/2011 21:54

It's easy with my family, I make all the adults (I am the only one with children, 3 other couples and mum) biscuits and christmas sweets in a DD decorated container with a picture of them. Minimal effort but appreciated (I hope).
We all make a stocking for mum by pooling small gifts.
DH's side is much harder, they all expect presents and were not impressed by biscuits so we buy bottles of wine for everyone, we had 12 bottles with 12 bags last year and just labelled as people turned up, Anyone we didn't see didn't get and we went home with 3 bottles Grin
We also make a stocking for FIL since MIL died as we spend the day with hm.

smackapacca · 28/10/2011 21:58

Squonge... When I saw your post previewed on Threads I'm on, I saw the first bit...

It's easy with my family, I make all the adults..

What??? Angry what do you make them do???

Then I clicked and calmed down.

love the Wine idea. Can't go wrong. Cheers!

BikeRunSki · 28/10/2011 22:02

The only adults I have ever bought for are Mum (no dad anymore), PILs, DSis and DBros. And DH.

DSis and I just buy for each other's children (and now I have as many as her!)
DBro1 and I buy for each other's family as his kids are teens/uni and mine are toddler/baby
DBro2 and other sibs and I agreed that we would not do presents when he moved to Oz a few years ago.
Mum and DH and I set a price limit, usually around £15.
For PILs, we renew their English Heritage membership

Lisatheonewhoeatsdrytoast · 28/10/2011 22:02

Me and DH do our mothers, and i bake for my grandparents. I don't buy for ANY other adults, accept my sister like cousin and her fiance, who have no children as of yet and spoil Hmm DS so i spend a £10 each on them. Even our mothers have a £20 limit.

Milliways · 28/10/2011 22:09

We buy for our parents only. My parents get £20 ish pressies, MIL gets more but she lives alone and it means a lot to her. If grandparents were still alive then I would have got a small token pressie - but providing Christmas dinner is our present to most (can't remember not cooking the dinner on Christmas day!) :)

If my youngest brother & wife come we will give them some wine or similar (no children) but if they don't come for the day we just post them a card.

Eldest bro sends us a charity card gift (books for a school in Africa type thing) which is nice. We give to their 4 kids.

exoticfruits · 28/10/2011 22:31

We buy for parents but no any other adults. It all gets out of hand. We stop the DCs when they get to 18yrs.

exoticfruits · 28/10/2011 22:31

Not our DCs-the nephews etc.

Original poster
nappyaddict · 30/10/2011 15:46

Exoticfruits Do any other adults without children apart from your parents buy for your DC?

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 30/10/2011 15:59

My brother and wife don't have DCs-we sort of get around it by going out for a meal together in January. It is tricky, people don't like to broach the subject and once you do you find that they feel the same-or we did in our case but then we were buying something for the sake of buying.

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