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Original poster

I'm sorry but MIL has forced a Christmas question from me

132 replies

hagridthehamster · 08/09/2011 09:57

We always go to PIL for Christmas (DH, me, 4DC and 2 dogs) plus BIL and SIL. MIL has called 'just checking' that we re going this year too. Apparently she needs to start her 'catering arrangements' now Shock

We loooooove going there, everyone has a wonderful time, but after the palaver at Easter with B/SIL mad PFB stuff here I'm not sure it's going to work. I've said that I'll need to check with DH and I'll call her back but I'm really not sure that everyone will have a nice time. That said I would hate to upset PIL as they are truly wonderful people, also the DC adore going there for Christmas. I tried to ask where everyone was going to sleep, but she sort of brushed the question off. I can't cope with another round of 'DN has to have her own room so your DC will have to sleep on the dining room floor' Hmm

Gah it's September FFS

OP posts:
blackeyedsusan · 09/09/2011 23:56

this is not christmas trillian this is about the sil, it began last easter....

do we have to wait til tomoorrow?

Mumsnut · 10/09/2011 10:50

This would be wasted in the Chrimbo section. It has a wider resonance - PFB, mad SIL, MIL: it is like Mumsnet in microcosm, without fruit shoots (perhaps you could offer one to DN, Miss Inga, and we could all shout 'House!').

TheSkiingGardener · 10/09/2011 10:55

Just be honest. We'd love to come but need to be clear about the sleeping arrangements. Ball in her court.

MNHQ
OliviaMumsnet · 10/09/2011 10:56

Sorry I can't deal with Christmas just yet and so will have to move this thread.
(as will prolly have to have some kind of convo with MIL about it too and just can't BEAR it)

MissIngaFewmarbles · 10/09/2011 13:03

cat that's exactly the conversation DH had with MIL yesterday. She is going to speak to BIL and come back to us. I had expected her to come back to us last night so I'm assuming that it's not as simple as 'OK no problem, DN can go in with the DC'. Older DC have been consulted and looked very upset at the thought of not having Christmas with GPs Sad

Merrin · 10/09/2011 18:41

What about a B&B for you and DH?

Choufleur · 10/09/2011 18:54

Just marking my place as want to know what happens. Sil sounds bonkers btw.

MissIngaFewmarbles · 10/09/2011 22:57

Still no reply from MIL Hmm

LemonDifficult · 10/09/2011 23:04

I feel a bit sorry for your MiL. She sounds too nice to condemn your SiL as crackers.

mousymouse · 11/09/2011 10:37

my parents have just remodeled thei guest room. with 6 dgc it was a neccessity.
the beds (1double, 1 single, 1 cot) have been removed and replaced with 5 single matresses on the floor.
this christmas my family (2 dc) and my sister (1 baby) will share.
looking forward to that, although dh is not so sure...

MissIngaFewmarbles · 11/09/2011 17:51

Still no reply, sod it, I think I'll just do Christmas here

iskra · 11/09/2011 17:54

I loved this thread last time!

EverythingInMiniature · 11/09/2011 18:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

twotesttickles · 11/09/2011 18:10

This is what Travelodges are for Wink

Seriously, stop the arguments say 'Yes we'd be delighted to come but we are staying somewhere else so there is room enough for everyone'. And then say the taxi won't come after 7pm so you can run away when you've had enough.

AnnabellaFagina · 11/09/2011 18:32

My BIL tried to say that DNs had to have separate rooms each! Once at the in laws and that we should give up the double bed for one of the DNs and sleep on the dining room floor with Dd in a travel cot with us. We said we wouldnt go if this was the case and miraculously the DNs were able to share a room. Put your foot down and keep it down.

Gastonladybird · 11/09/2011 18:41

Any update missinga?

Eglu · 11/09/2011 22:20

Annabella I can see that happening in the OPs family in the future when BIL and SIL have another baby. Grin

Sense of entitlement much!!

MissIngaFewmarbles · 12/09/2011 19:38

Exactly Everything, we had DS in with us when he was tiny, now he is 2 he really wants to sleep with his sisters, there has been much excitement over heady talk of a readybed Grin.

MIL has come back and said that she doesn't know what to do as B/SIL are still insisting that DN needs her own room. She suggested that all the DC went in together but apparently our DCs will interrupt her sleep Hmm DN can't go in with her parents as she will interrupt their sleep, double Hmm

LemonDifficult · 12/09/2011 19:42

Sounds like your MiL needs a bit of a shove. It's her house. How about calling back saying something like: 'we don't want to get into any wrangling, but we will need to make plans for Christmas. Can you let us know what you decide by the end of September? Thanks'

She needs to call it.

And if you don't go you should try to sell it to DCs as really exciting to be at home and invite family friends over to play games and so on.

Eglu · 12/09/2011 19:51

Such selfish people. Do they not see they are ruining things for everyone. can your dh not call his brother? It really is beyond my comprehension that they think it is okay for you to share with 4 dc and they can't share with one.

TheSkiingGardener · 12/09/2011 20:40

What utterly, utterly selfish people. State your position and stick to it. Can you talk to BIL/SIL directly and demand individual rooms for all your DC on the same grounds as above?

mmmmmchocolate · 12/09/2011 21:47

They sound like arseholes....

I'm sure with yourselves and four DC Christmas at home will be great anyway!! You could always offer to host and pop them in a tent- separate of course- you can't let the baby disturb their sleep ;)

WhereDidAllThePuffinsGo · 13/09/2011 11:25

"MIL, we really want to spend Christmas with you, but we're not going to come if we have to share 6-to-a-room just so little baby DN can have a whole room to herself.
The dcs are very upset at the thought of not spending Christmas with you. They don't understand why they have to miss out when it is Uncle who is being selfish.
You do know that if BIL won't share a room or allow DN to share this Christmas, then he won't next Easter/Christmas either, and you'll never get all your family under one roof again?
Please can you tell BIL that if they are going to stay, dn will either be in their room or in the ""children's room"? "

Or get your eldest dd to phone BIL in tears and ask him why he is so selfish Grin

Mumsnut · 13/09/2011 11:26

Invite the PIL to your house. Don't invite the w*ers.

SurprisEs · 13/09/2011 11:30

wheredidallthepuffinsgo that is a truly amazingly clever way to deal with it. I would certainly do that.

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