I'm scoring my family for their performance

[Quattrocento]

DD - 6 Not showing too much commitment
DS - 6 Showing even less commitment but was more amusing at the table
DH - 8 Enthusiastic but a bit useless, and technique let him down on the odd occasion
DM - 1 Generally being useless and negative
DBIL - 5 A couple of good amusing anecdotes made up for generally being lacklustre in the helpfulness department
DSIL - 10 Helped in every conceivable way and was amusing as well
DNeice - 6 Generally appreciative (particularly of trifle) but could do better on the washing up front
DNeiceIL - 5 A couple of amusing anecdotes made up for general uselessness
DNephew - 6 - You can be too cool, you know
DNephewIL - 9 Good all round performance, generally helpful and amusing
DF - 4 Well I know you've been in hospital recently but surely we need to see a bit more enthusiasm for something other than the champagne
DFIL - 7 Good effort all round, but we need to see a bit of your soul

Didn't score yourself then...?

Oh I like that idea

DD aged 4: 10/10 full of Christmas cheer on best behaviour now having a nap.

DS aged 6 month: 7/10 could take tips for sister in Christmas cheer department but wasn't to messy at dinner and now having a nap.

DH age Mid 40's: 9/10 Christmas cheer doing well, helpful with kids less so with food prep.

DS aged 6 - 10/10 for sleeping til 7.30, being delight when opening presents and now playing quietly with a new DS game. However, 2/10 for being a fussy twit when it comes to food and having only a few prawns and some whispers.

DH - 9/10 for lovely presents, appreciative of the feast and for cleaning the kitchen. He loses one point because I had to ask him to do the cleaning up!! [fsamile]

Of course I didn't score myself! I am a judge, doncha know.

DD has gained points for winning the table tennis (although not as many as she might have done for exhibiting unholy glee in the process)

Quattrocento, I LOVE this idea! Good way to keep your mind busy if people are getting on your nerves. Is it helping you to avoid stewing/fuming? Going to try this next time I'm around my family - thanks!

eldest daughter 9/10, cooking lunch AND washing up after it - would be 10 but loses a point for suggesting that I might like to help when I am very busy playing with my iPad

middle daughter 7/10 for helping her sister but only after much coaxing

Youngest 7/10 for helping me carry hay and feeds to the field and for filling hay rack

dog 10/10 for opening his presents without help

Kittens 10/10 for having fluffy paws

horse 10/10 for not kicking the pony in the head for once

pony 10/10 for being adorable

DD aged 2- 5 points; bonus point awarded for spectacular over-excited tantrum whilst Skyping Grandad. Points deducted for smashing mummy in the face with an aeroplane and throwing Mr. Potatohead's teeth down the toilet.

DP aged 31 until tomorrow- 8 points for good presents and offers of help, although 2 points deducted for not actually helping and dancing like a twat to Christmas songs whilst I peel potatoes.

Chicken- null points for being so fucking big it's still not cooked

Champagne- 10 points for making it aaalllll ok.

Happy Christmas

Oh, and In Laws 10 points for being in France.

ROFL at absent ILs scoring 10

Chanpagne always scores 10

Am digging into emergency rations

DD aged 3.7 - 9/10 - very enthusiastic, very grateful for her presents, didn't wake up too early

DS aged 1 year - 8/10 - very jolly but a one man destruction missile. Made a hideous mess at the dinner table but did eat a huge xmas lunch (including sprouts !)

DH - 37 - 9/10 - very helpful in the kitchen, bought great pressies for me, not particularly patient with my mother

DM - 56 - 3/10 - stop sniping woman. It is not your house. You do not have to try and "score points" at every given opportunity and yes, I realise the gravy was a bit crap...

DSF - 6/10- pretty useless but drank too much which meant my mother had to take him home early. Hoorah

DP-4 Disorganised. Asleep! No present to open. Thus the only present I had to open this morning was some rather dodgy looking body butters from work
You did make it a bit better last night.
DS-4 No nap all morning. Then slept until we sat down to the starter. Now asleep on my lap and I am desperate to sleep.
DF-6 excellent behaviour considering your normal intake of booze.
DM-9 excellent and the food was fab.

Oh forgot DB-10 gorgeous presents, you didn't have to!

DH 8 - weird presents but you did cook a lovely dinner.
DD (4) 8 - happy little sod despite a grumpy mummy this morning, would have got 10 had not been smeared with chocolate and rolling on white carpet.
DS (2) 7 - lots of screaming interspersed with delight and the pigs in blanket incident
DM - 9 - Excellent, helpful, lovely, one point deducted for the sprouty farts.
DF - 7 - Lovely as always, points deducted for snoring and pretending to be a statue for four hours.
DB - 4 - you are a very strange man. We do love you but you frighten us a bit because you are so very odd. Madeye Moody has nothing on you.

DH - 7/10 - generally helpful, lovely presents but has had a nap and isn't tidying up.

DM - 7/10 - cooked a lovely dinner, much better present effort than usual and cheerier than has been recently. Usual homophobic and racist comments kept to a minimum but no tidying at all.

DS - 8/10 - done very well for 2.6 year old. Just a bit grumpy and stroppy now but probably overtired and overexcited.

Champagne only gets a 2/10 for me because it can't be drunk copiously during pregnancy. A clear design flaw.

DH - 8/10 - has been helpful in clearing up, building Lego. Lost points because managed to buy only dodgy looking dress in Anthropologie (DS2 - whats that mama Me: a short nightie. DH: erm.....was in the "tops" section actually.....

DS1: 10/10 - fab attitude, loved his gifts, and kept up pretence of FC to protect DS2.

DS2: 10/10 for napping with us til a more reasonable hour after bursting into our room at 6.20am to tell me it was Christmas day! And for grooving with mama in the kitchen, singing Run Run Rudolph into an egg whisk.

Both DS gain an extra bonus point for spending almost 3 hours at the table with us - making fun chit chat, eating everything they were given, applauding at the flaming pudding and for letting their papa win at black jack :o