MIL rang at 9pm Tuesday night (21st)

[tallulah]

to ask us to get something for DD (3) for Xmas.

I finished all my present shopping over a week ago, and had just got back from the supermarket Xmas food shop. I am not planning to go to the shops again as they will be manic.

Unfortunately DH took the call and agreed to it, because of course he has done absolutely FA towards the Xmas organisation as usual. (He spent "4 hours" at the shops on Monday trying to find the DVD I asked him to order me online that he refused to do...)

At least we are spared the farce this year of having to take said present to MIL to wrap so they can bring it to us and pretend they made some sort of effort. I know I'm probably BU but I'm so fed up with everyone assuming I've got nothing better to do with my time.

Dh agreed then dh goes to the shops. If he's at work today then he goes in his lunch hour/on the way home. Every supermarket has nice toys, I even got a bargain game from the petrol station the other day!

It's sad they can't be bothered, but shrug it off.Hope they make up for it in other ways.

That's really odd! Why on earth doesn't she buy it herself? Very tempting to say no but your dd would be the one to suffer. Cross on your behalf. [fcross]

Tell your DH you can't today or tomorrow, so he'll have to do it, as you'd have told MIL you couldn't get anything if she'd spoken to you. Or he can ring her back and say you don't have time and he won't.

Your Dh agreed ergo his problem to deal with!

Why don't you talk to her about it, and ask her - next year - to just give you a cheque or some money for your DD instead? Open a savings account for her (if she hasn't got one) and then every year (and birthdays if appropriate) you can put that money in and then DD will know that she has had something from her grandmother.

It doesnt take much to pick something up in the supermarket really it doesn't
maybe she doesn't want To go out in the cold, does she live near shops, drive etc
I really wouldn't mind doing that for my mil
at least you can get something you know dd will like

FIL did this but he is
a) old
b) disabled and doesn't want to walk outside
c) lives alone so no-one to help him
d) out of touch with what your average 3 yr old chid woudl like for christmas.

We know he is getting them cash so I have a token present 'from' him for the girls to unwrap, I will pocket a fiver of the money and the rest ghets saved, chill out a bit, eh?

The short notice is very selfish, she really should have arranged it with you ages ago. Did she forget? I would have nothing to do with the whole thing, MIL and DH can sort it out between them, every year.

My ILs do this to us. Its not so bad if it becomes the norm to do like Mschristmas situation but to call you just a few days before Xmas is just wrong.

Our ILs have done this and I we also had to take the gift to their unwrapped so they could see it and approve it before wrapping and giving!

Now they just throw blood money at us every year.

I feel your pain and anger.

Looks like your dh has volunteered for that job then.

Although if he can't/won't, well - she's 3. She won't notice one present more or less. Get dh to phone back and ask for money for her. I bet she'll love being taken to a toy shop to spend it, once Christmas is over and all the excitement has died down.

If she does notice, tell her Grandma forgot, silly Grandma, you don't remember things as well when you get older (this works best if MIL is in the room and is actually only 55).

I'm in the same boat. We received a cheque in the post from MIL yesterday. I don't mind buying something for the children on her behalf, but it's the short notice that annoys me. Sometimes she buys something, sometimes she doesn't bother, sometimes she sends a cheque ... Grrr.

Thanks for all your support. It was the short notice that made me Had she asked last week it wouldn't have been a problem.

I'm going to send DH out tomorrow (as you say, she's 3, she won't notice).

My mother did EXACTLY the same last year, in full knowledge that I was pregnant and recovering from swine flu then pissed and moaned because I wouldn't wrap it for her

This year she has made a gargantuan effort with millions of well thought out and beautifully wrapped presents. Not, I hasten to point out because she realises how much of a pain she was last year. It's because she spent DD's parents with us and the PIL and was embarassed when she saw the great effort they go to to lovingly choose and wrap presents they know DD will love.

Is that an option for you?

she spent DD's birthday

My mam did this too.

Both my dd and ds's birthday fall round Christmas time too, so I have the pleasure of buying four gifts!!

This year I got a £10 waterstones voucher for dd b'day and a pair of shoe/boot things for Christmas.

For ds I got him a game for his DS which cost both the birthday and Christmas money - he didn't care - he's too daft young to know any different and by the time he sees my mam the only thing he'll remember is that she got him the BEST game ever!! lol

DD is older so I let her pick what she wanted, initially she wanted to spend all the money in Waterstones....