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Christmas

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Original poster

This is a shit present isn't it? what can I add to make it better?

63 replies

noosahl · 21/12/2010 15:39

For my mate.
He's a builder, always moaning about having cold hands. He loves jammy dodgers and films. Doesn't drink...

I've got him a big selection box of biscuits (including jammy dodgers), an amazon voucher and some of those gel handwarmer things.

But it just seems a bit crap.

He's a good mate but his girlfriend hates me (because he used to fancy me) so I don't see as much of him as I used to and lots of the things I would have bought him in the past seem a bit too personal and may add to her dislike of me which is the last thing I want!

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Topspin · 21/12/2010 15:48

Sounds like a lovely present to me...

Original poster
noosahl · 21/12/2010 15:53

Thanks, I think because in the past I've bought him eg his favourite aftershave and an actual dvd rather than a voucher that it seems a bit impersonal this year.

But I am being very careful not to step on his girlfriend's toes by buying anything too girlfriendy and since he moved in with her I am no longer familiar with his dvd collection so couldn't choose a specific film for him.

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BelligerentYhoULE · 21/12/2010 15:54

Sounds great!

TheParasiteofChristmasPast · 21/12/2010 15:57

you wuold piss me off if i was his girlfriend tbh

Monkeytoo · 21/12/2010 16:01

I think it's great - I don't think you need to add anything but if you wanted to maybe some Tetley and a nice mug - don't all builders drink strong tea out of old chipped mugs? :)

Original poster
noosahl · 21/12/2010 16:02

Really parasite? Confused Why? I am trying so hard not to!

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BelligerentYhoULE · 21/12/2010 16:06

Parasite - why? One of my dp's female students once bought him some pyjamas and I just thought it was hilarious. What on earth is offensive/wrong/to be pissed off about in a voucher and some biscuits?

Original poster
noosahl · 21/12/2010 17:26

Hoping parasite comes back to tell me why because I really don't want to piss off his girlfriend...

Monkey tea would be a good idea but he has stopped drinking it during the day-says it makes him wee too much in the cold weather Grin

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OldAndUngraceful · 21/12/2010 17:41

I guess what parasite is trying to tell you is that you should give him nothing and just disappear! Xmas Grin

pagwatch · 21/12/2010 17:49

I think it sounds lime a fab present. It is thoughtful without being intimate, matey and considerate.

Well pitched

ChessyEvans · 21/12/2010 17:57

I think it's a bit weird to buy presents for mates... but maybe that's just me Smile. If you really don't want to upset the girlfriend, you could address the biscuits and voucher to them both? Wouldn't really work with the handwarmers though...

pagwatch · 21/12/2010 18:01

Gawd, if dh worried about who I got gifts from I would thinkhe we had major issues.

BalloonSlayer · 21/12/2010 18:02

It sounds like a big present - three separate components and you still don't think it's enough! - the sort of thing you would buy for a husband or partner.

Original poster
noosahl · 21/12/2010 18:03

Chessy yes I have wrapped the biscuits as a family present (him, her, his dc, her dc) and was about to ask if I should do the voucher to all of them as well.

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skydance · 21/12/2010 18:06

It definately sounds like the sort of present you'd buy for a husband/boyfriend.

I'd agree with the 'give him nothing and disappear' sentiment, or just an impersonal bottle of wine/chocs etc adressed to both of them.

And I'm not the jealous, insecure type at all, but I still think this a little off and too intimate.

Original poster
noosahl · 21/12/2010 18:08

Balloonslayer it's not that I don't think it's enough in terms of quantity but it just seems so impersonal compared to the sort of present we usually exchange.

But that's probably the best way to play it seeing as his girlfriend is already paranoid about our friendship!

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Original poster
noosahl · 21/12/2010 18:09

Really you'd give a boyfriend a voucher and biscuits?? Blimey!

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Longtinsellyjosie · 21/12/2010 18:16

How many of your other friends do you buy Christmas presents for?

fedupofnamechanging · 21/12/2010 18:17

I think it sounds lovely. You don't need to add anything else - would be overkill if you did. It's natural to step back and be a little less personal when a mate gets a new partner. I would address the biscuits and voucher to them both and the hand warmer gel just to him.

BalloonSlayer · 21/12/2010 18:17

It's the "giving someone lots of little bits" that seems boyfriendy to me, not what the bits are. EG one of the bits I have got for DH is a big bar of fruit and nut - not romantic but just a little extra thing to make his presents seem more.

I guess I see it as you might buy a friend a present but it's partners whom you buy lots of smaller presents so they have lots of things to open.

BerryinClover · 21/12/2010 18:19

Strikes me as odd to give him anything. I would be pissed off if I was the new gf.

said · 21/12/2010 18:20

He's not just a mate though is he? He used to fancy you and it sounds like quite a personal present. It wouldn't piss me off but it would if I was a bit of a jealous type

belgo · 21/12/2010 18:20

Yes it seems a bit odd to me as well, as though you are over thinking it all, and I wonder why?

BalloonSlayer · 21/12/2010 18:20

Hope the girlfriend doesn't think you have noticed his cold hands "personally." Wink

Original poster
noosahl · 21/12/2010 18:21

Only 4-the closest ones. Him, secret santa with group of friends, small gift with closest mum friend and then another friend I've known my whole life.

Those that are saying I should disappear-we have been friends for over 12 years, through his last relationship, my marriage (and the ending of), all our dc and now his new girlfriend. I'm sorry but I don't walk away from friendships like that.

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