This is a shit present isn't it? what can I add to make it better?

[noosahl]

For my mate.
He's a builder, always moaning about having cold hands. He loves jammy dodgers and films. Doesn't drink...

I've got him a big selection box of biscuits (including jammy dodgers), an amazon voucher and some of those gel handwarmer things.

But it just seems a bit crap.

He's a good mate but his girlfriend hates me (because he used to fancy me) so I don't see as much of him as I used to and lots of the things I would have bought him in the past seem a bit too personal and may add to her dislike of me which is the last thing I want!

wonder if you'd be getting so much abuse if you'd said your friend was a girl and her boyfriend didnt like you!! why cant people accept that men and women can be friends!

i think it sounds like a fine present - if you were a good friend of dh's i wouldnt be even slightly jealous! i would just think - "oh noosahl has bought you some really good presents! better than all that shit you're mother bought!!"

Oh. I've already given them the card and I wrote love noosahl, ds and dd. Their card also said love (and was written by the gf) so I hope that simple word won't have got her mind whirring.

See that's just it Noosahl, I wonder if you would over think this so much if you had a boyfriend to buy presents for...

OP sounds like a lovely present

pagwatch Lol at sky dance imagining willy shaped biscuits with love heart shaped ones and boob shaped hob nobs

I was not I was thinking more - noosahl in tesco, ooooh he likes jammy dodgers and oh party rings, must get some bourbons and those ones with the little sprinkles on, those are his favourites, and then packing them up all nicely in a special box with tissue paper and bows

Was quite surprised when she said they were family circle

Oh I would OldandUngraceful

Just glad I didn't buy the he-man pants I saw that made me think of him

Jesus H Christ - I though I could be a bit touchy - some of you are incredibly insecure since when did a box of biscuts, a voucher & some hand warmers spell 'romance' or what you'd buy for your partner???

My friends DH I have bought - a book I know he will love, chocolate he loves, a gift box selection of beer, a remote controlled car (small cheap thing - few quid - in joke) and a DVD. I have no designs on him, my friend will think it's lovely. Thank fuck my friends are normal.

Nooshl - it sounds like a lovely gift but if you don't feel it's enough yet then I don't think there is anything wrong with getting something else for him. He is your friend, has been for 12 years.

I would bung the handwarmers in the same to the whole family-nothing-inappropriate-to-see-here package and take a step back.

If he fancied you then he will fancy you now, what will have changed will be what he thinks his chances are.

It is hugely lovely to have vaguely flirtatious but going nowhere friendships, they are heart warming and confidence boosting and life enhancing... and I still miss mine, because you absolutely have to back off when they have a girfriend.

Hand warmers are inexpensive enough to have all their value in the fact they are touching and personal and caring- and completely up to her to think of now.

ChippingIn- I think that is the point- he is her friend and has been her friend for over 11 years longer than he has had this girlfriend.

If this doesnt work out for him he will still be her friend 12 years from now, but if noosahl gets it badly wrong with the girlfriend it could sour things and make things difficult for the 3 of them to get along.

Also I dont buy for any men who are not DH or relatives - not sure why, just didnt ever start down that road, so it seems more of a big deal for me than it might do to someone in a circle where all the friends buy for each other as a matter of course.

I don't think I dare get him anything else ChippingIn It is less and less personal than previously but I think that's the best way to play it (especially after some of these responses).

I've found it hard because normally I just buy something I know he'd love, be it aftershave, clothes, a film or whatever and do a family present as well for him and his dc (and ex when she was on the scene) but this year I've been very conscious of not wanting his girlfriend to feel I was buying him something that she should be buying him iyswim.

I haven't changed the type of thing I buy for his mum and nan though, hope that's ok!

Nucking futs isn't it!

Skydance

You do get that I was joking?

She is going to be jealous what ever you get tho!