not feeling christmassy at all...

[IntergalacticHussy]

Last christmas was awful; we lost my grandad early christmas morning. I think it's having a knock on effect on my feelings about preparations for this year. Basically I don't want to think about it.

I had a pre xmas blitz in November which has subsequently petered out, and got most of the dcs presents then, but i still have nothing for dh or family members. I can't face the thought of trying to get the house ready and i'm trying not to think about the big post xmas/ pre new year trip to stay with my family. Help me get out of this rut, please!

who do you still need to buy for, and what is your budget?

mum, dad, dsis x2, db, dh, inlaws possibly (Sometimes dh buys for them, sometimes he leaves it up to me, bit of an odd one), various aunts and uncles, last remaining grandparent... argh!

I can probably stretch to about £15 for each of them, and obviously a bit more for dh..

I think at the moment your feelings about losing your grandad are all jumbled up with your Christmas preparations, and understandably it's quite painful for you to do what would normally be enjoyable - decorating the house, buying presents etc.

Could you do something special for your grandad so you can focus your grief into something good, something that could become a family tradition? My family always put the names of members who are no longer with us on a star on the 'Tree of Light' in the town centre. We visit the tree, think about them and then enjoy Christmas, as they would have wanted us to do.

The other option, which we did one year when a family member was seriously ill just before Christmas, was to delay the celebrations for 6 months. We had 'Christmas in June'. It was a little strange eating turkey and sprouts and pulling crackers in the summer, but it was really enjoyable.

ok, how old are they all, and do any of them have particular interests? we also need exact number of people. this christmas is hard for me too as my nan passed away in august unexpectedly, and she was due to be spending this christmas with us. i only decorated my tree last night, and usually it is done on the 1st of december. and are you wanting things to be ordered and delivered to you so you can wrap them, or do you want things gift wrapped and sent direct to the recipients?