Christmas Day Lunch Trauma..(MIL)

[lovingthesun]

We are off to the inlaws this xmas day. MIL is very excited BUT is very very territorial in her house.

I'm a fussy bugger (only eat organic chicken, in fact only buy it from a particular local farm). Today have received an email stating how looking forward to it she is, followed by, I'm cooking beef, what can I do for you & the DGC, tell me & I'll get it in.

Well, the last time she 'got it in', DD's & I ate revolting skinny & sinuey chicken thighs from M&S (she objects MASSIVELY to organic). I loathe thighs. I felt very embarrassed, but ate it & even now, feel a bit gaggy at the mention of thighs.

So, I would like to bring my own luscious breasts & my own coffee, as they only have caffeinated filter coffee or vile instant coffee. But I've been told not to bring anything...I feel very uncomfortable & in a way controlled..it doesn't make any sense to me...

Christmas Day Lunch Trauma

• beef, not fairy reared chicken breasts
• value apple juice, not hand pressed applles picked by children of Narnia

Struggling to find the trauma.

Don't make a big deal. Make your requests but if you don't get them, it's no big deal.

seriously, stop acting like a pretentious fool and just relax. you really do sound ridiculous and completely self centered.

justabout it's madness! Or a wind up.

From a concerned MiL (on MiLnet)

I have a wonderful family whom I love dearly and have asked them all for Christmas lunch. My mother is unlikely to see another Christmas so I want to make it special for her. My Ds will be there with his wife and their children. My lovely DiL is coming of course, and I want to cook the whole meal so that she doesn't have to do anything, as she works hard all year looking after the GC. The trouble is, nothing I cook is ever good enough for her. She seem to have some issues around food (although we never had these in my day, we were happy for decent, nutritious food). I am cooking beef as the main option, and, even though she is not a vegetarian, she won't like that, so I have offered to do chicken. She turned her nose up at that and has made noises about even bringing her own coffee, as though mine isn't good enough for her!
I really want to be a good hostess, but she really is quite precious and controlling, and i don't want there to be any trauma on this special family day.
Do any other MiLs have any Fussetarians for DiLs?

Stay. at.home.

Plus you do know "organic" isn't a different species of bird? And value apple juice won't pollute your organic children.

i was going to say you sound as bad as each other, but you get more unbearably precious by the post.

VALUE apple juice? Good lord thats awful...how DARE she.....I will pray for them

OP, I think that there is more to this than the issue of Christmas lunch.

It sounds like there is an issue of women asserting their control. Particularly prevalent in MIL/DIL relationships

FWIW, I HATE eating at MIL's - she buys the cheapest of the cheap and cooks meals I don't particularly enjoy. I just have a small, but polite portion and bite my tongue.

She also serves up gallons of sugary e-numbered squash, sweeties, etc to the DC (as well as the heart-attack-inducing meals). I used to HATE that too when they were tiny, but as they got older I realised I couldn't control everything that went into their mouths, and that it wasn't an everyday happening.

And I make sure I serve up decent quality food when they come to ours

Trauma you say? Do please tell us of this trauma of which you speak...

ROFL at Bruxeur.

So when you buy your lovely chickens - what do you do with the non-breast meat? Am assuming you don't waste it . . .

This is mn - we can get 5 meals and sandwiches out of a chicken you know

"M&S chicken would hardly be Tesco value bird."

No, but M&S Oakham is the same as the normal tesco chicken. Many distributors sell to all the major supermarkets and just label it according to supermarket

tracey, you forgot soup, shame on you

Put up and shut up. Its one day ffs and the woman is trying (read that how you will)...

Jakers, leave the poor woman alone! She may be fussy but she's not evil .

OP, I suggest you take the self-deprecating line and tell MIL what a terrible fusspot you are. How it must be such a pain for her and you're so sorry. How you're surprised you get invited anywhere. Make it clear that it's lighthearted obviously. Say you'll be bringing your own bits as you don't think it's fair to force her to shop according to your silly whims. Either offer to bring a chicken the day before or send it or to eat vegetarian. If you point out how unreasonable you're being and how good she is to indulge you at This Speshul Time then what can she possibly say?
In the same email/conversation, say that while you're bringing your tuck parcel you'd like to bring some foodie treats for her. In return for all her work in the kitchen etc etc. Amaretti? Marrons glace? Special Brew? What would she like? Say you won't take no for an answer, it's the least you can do etc etc. Make it clear you're not interfering with the cooking, just offering luxury treats.
That's my twopennorth anyway

It has to be a wind up, it's too funny.

Although it's one of those threads where I really want to believe it's real :o

Just take the stuff you want.

As a grown up you are allowed.

of course it's real.

Thanks for the decent & helpful replies, the rest of you can get lost.

The trauma is the fallout from the MIL. I didn't realise I had to detail the trauma

The point about the value juice is why doesn't she buy decent stuff for them? She chooses not to & I think she does it as an affront to me.

She hasn't offered to cook anything, she's asked me what I'd like. And I've been told not to bring anything. Oh & I've been told she has a tea which I loathe.

She's bonkers & yes, if it wasn't for the GG being so frail, they'd be coming here. Where they'd be made to feel most welcome.

I don't need perspective thanks. And I buy chicken breasts. When I buy a whole chicken, DH eats the legs, the cat gets to the bone pickings & I make stock..

Ok fair enough sorry for doubting it.

I agree with those who have said either suck it up, or take your own stuff whether she likes it or not, or don't go.

Granny is going to die but the "trauma" is non-organic food.

Keep perspective, OP, FFS. If it were one of our grannies, I would eat value chicken fucking raw if it meant spending time with her one last Christmas.

What does your dh think of all this?

This has to be a wind up

I suspect an invasion from MILnet

OP, are you Gillian McKeith? Why don't you sew some pouches in your knickers to hide your organic breasts

If you're writing a letter to your mil or talking to her about it, then you need to specify chicken breast rather than just chicken in case she is one of those strange people that prefers chicken legs and thighs.

To me - chicken = breast. But lots of people don't like the breast and so would just get the bit of chicken that they like best.

Growing up my mum and dsis liked the leg, my dad and I liked the breast. Worked very well. Now, my dh and I both like breast and not the leg, kids don't like leg, hoping that a 4 breasted no legged chicken will soon evolve as roasting just the breast rather than the whole chicken just isn't the same but can't see it happening this side of christmas!

It's an opportunity for grace.