Christmas Day Lunch Trauma..(MIL)

[lovingthesun]

We are off to the inlaws this xmas day. MIL is very excited BUT is very very territorial in her house.

I'm a fussy bugger (only eat organic chicken, in fact only buy it from a particular local farm). Today have received an email stating how looking forward to it she is, followed by, I'm cooking beef, what can I do for you & the DGC, tell me & I'll get it in.

Well, the last time she 'got it in', DD's & I ate revolting skinny & sinuey chicken thighs from M&S (she objects MASSIVELY to organic). I loathe thighs. I felt very embarrassed, but ate it & even now, feel a bit gaggy at the mention of thighs.

So, I would like to bring my own luscious breasts & my own coffee, as they only have caffeinated filter coffee or vile instant coffee. But I've been told not to bring anything...I feel very uncomfortable & in a way controlled..it doesn't make any sense to me...

why not eat the beef ? why should I ? do you eat stuff you don't like ?

My DC don't eat beef because they don't like it. My DH doesn't like rice pudding, but I don't have a paddy about it & tell him to be grateful I've slaved over a hot oven.

Nowhere in your OP did you state you didn't like beef

I think the point is, op, its one meal. One measly meal for a lady who is obviously looking forward to it. Put yourself in her shoes. Children have fleed the nest.

You are sounding quite hard-hearted,tbh.

If granny is not likely to make another christmas, suck it up ffs.

My MIL is not going to be here this fucking christmas. I always ate her yucky parsnips because I was polite. Glad I did now.

They are kids though. My dd has started doing sleepovers. My instructions are: eat what you are given, do as you are told. Why should you expect special treatment in other peoples houses, unless you have an allergy or special medical need?

LOL

Are pom bears organic?

My MIL can't make soup - it tastes and look like washing up liquid yet we still have it when we go if she has made it as a starter.

It's about manners op - manners....and courtesy.

I'm sorry but you sound like a nightmare.

The chicken I can sort of understand, although you are clearly wrong that breasts are nicer than thighs . But the coffee? Seriously, just drink water (or value apple juice) for the day and don't be so bloody rude.

....and a bit of empathy.

YOur poor MIL

"If granny is not likely to make another christmas, suck it up ffs."

Wonder if this will make it to Quote Of The Week.

I would hope its possible to suggest to op she is being a tad controlling/precious without being insensitive to fate of granny, surely.

if I ate beef, I wouldn't be posting.

She is cooking beef. I don't like it/don't eat it/only eat organic chicken from local farm.

I used to keep chickens, I have my reasons for eating as I do. The whole family know my reasons.
To clarify;

I would like to bring my own 'beef alternative' - I am NOT ALLOWED.
I would like to bring decaf filter coffee - I am NOT ALLOWED
Instant decaff or red bush is on the menu. I don't like red bush. I am NOT ALLOWED to bring my herbal tea.

She buys £10 bottles of wine & give DGC value apple juice...& huffs about it. And I'm being controlling ?!

I think I might go pour myself a stiff drink...

If you don't think of this Christmas as a meal, but rather as a get together, it may be less stressful for you. Don't try and convince your mil about the chicken, because she sounds as if she's fairly set in her ways.

Since she's asking, why not make some suggestions that are realistic, such as cheese and biscuits?

What do you mean YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED? You are a grown up. You can bring teabags. What is the worst that can happen?

Eat the veg
Drink lots of the £10 wine
Have some water every other glass of wine

Sounds like my sort of lunch

are you allergic to beef? Can you not cope with no coffee for one day? Will your kids die if the ave no sugar squash? It is just one day. Why does it matter so much?

Having spent the day in a children's cancer ward i think there are bigger issues in this world and the fuss about a family celebration and Christian festival have become out of proportion.

namey, possibly bit close to my own situation, point taken!

I stick by my 'suck it up ffs' on it's own though.

what's wrong with £10 bottle sof wine? too cheap? too expensive? not sure what your point is.
And isn't value apple juice still just swuashed apples, therefore better than any squash.

But still, if it will cause ructions dont eat the chikcen, go veggy. and it won't kill you not to have coffee for a few days. She may be controlling but her house, her rules.

LOL at thought of op sneaking in contraband herbal bags and brewing up in the loo using a travel kettle

I think Xmas lunch is the wrong opportunity to "assert yourself".

She's asked you what you would like. Presumably if you tell her she will get it? No?

YABU about the chicken. You just have to put up and shut up. And I say that as a hyper-aware ethical shopper and erstwhile vegan. Just say oh don't worry about me and skip on the meat.

Hey ladies, I didn't post on AIBU...

Portofino - I'm not allowed - she stands in front of the kitchen door. She also does this thing where her chin disappears into her neck. She rules the roost bigtime.

Yes, great idea about drinking the wine (will let the DH drive home) & eating the veg. I may even pack a sneaky sandwich in the car.

BTW it's not

It is possible that she doesn't allow you in the kitchen because she finds it hard enough to cope as it is without someone else in there as well.
I love having guests but I prefer to just do the kitchen thing myself.

its just one day! How about her getting the kids coke? That's what my mil gets in! Freshly pressed is better, but its not the most important thing in the world.

You are being unreasonale, though

Surely her aim is to be a wonderful hostess. Let her.

She's asked you what you want....will she really not get it?