breaking my silence, bad teeth

[misdee]

this is taking a lot for me to type this, as i am suffering immense guilt and feel like a shitty parent.

dd4 has terrible teeth. one tooth has crumbled away, and she has decay on 3 other teeth. she has been seen by the dentist.

i know its my fault.

but it was a case of getting food into her as her weight was dipping (91st to 25th), due to allergies.

her dentist says atm there isnt much they can do. she isnt in pain and no infection so no need to remove teeth.b due to dd4 age, any work needed would have to be done in the hospital anyway.

just feeling crappy about it, as i have failed dd4 in this.

theres a lot of back story regarding sleep, food, reflux etc, but to me thats not an excuse. i failed.

I agree that genetics play a large role - my teeth are horrible, always have been - deep fissures and weak enamel. I cleaned my teeth as often as my bro and sis but I copped all the fillings - my bro has maybe 1, my sis perhaps a couple more. All my double teeth are filled, and I had to have baby teeth filled as well.

Acid reflux is a major contributor as you already know - bulimics have dreadful teeth because of all the acid too.

I keep a wary eye on DS's teeth - and have just noticed that one of his molars has a small grey spot in the fissure so off to the dentist we must go.

misdee, you haven't failed her...not at all! She is a beautiful child & her teeth are only 1 aspect of her health & it is hard to know what to do for the best when you have a child with allergies! It isn't like you only fed her coke, or cake & biscuits

I will be honest with you...I am a dental nurse...15 yrs on the job. Dd1 (6) needs 2 fillings. I went through something horrible last year & really dropped the ball for her, I thought she was brushing well enough when I wasn't doing it, but it wasn't enough. She has active decay. I am heartbroken for her, but really...it's a filling. Not the end of the world.

So there, if anyone should know better, it is me. I am trained, I know about diet, I know about OH. But still, dd has cavities. We all get it wrong, trying to do the right thing.

PLEASE don't feel like you have let her down. She is growing & thriving. Her teeth will go eventually & you can be on the ball for her adult teeth.

Did I say she was beautiful!?

Thank you all for sharing your stories as well.

anyone feeling guilty and putting off going to the dentists with their kids, please do it. because i really dont want anyone to have crumbling teeth really young like dd4 has.

feeling better this evening. she has done really well and not mithered for snacks all day.

she is a constant snacker and drinker, which probably doesnt help.

but we will get there

Well, you are definitely doing something right, misdee, she looks gorgeous and has really filled out compared to the earlier photo.

Just want to say to all the parents who are embarrassed to take their kids to the dentist - please do it. I was told if my daughter hadn't had her teeth extracted it could have caused problems for her later on with the adult teeth coming through.

I felt very shamed and humiliated (hence the porky about my DS), but as I say they both have lovely teeth now so no lasting harm was done by my stupidity.

font, we have been told the opposite. as long as the bad teeth arent causing problems, they wonmt remove them as it allows for the big teeth to come in properly.

Oh, that's ok then. I think my daughter's were too far gone maybe, and it was the two front teeth. She was also nearly four when she had them removed.

It will all come good I'm sure, and hopefully all us parents owning up to our misdemeanours will stop you beating yourself up over this.

Can I just add - she's beautiful.

dd4 has done well today.

big bowl of fortified porriage.

fruit snack, good lunch, and good dinner. and just one biscuit!