Any ideas how I can 'help' DD - she is very down atm

[Katymac]

DD has just moved to High School
She has had 3 major 'bugs' since the start of term (12 days off) & is still getting over the last (tonsillitis)
We are being censured by the school for this time off
Her daddy is very poorly

She is so down, unhappy, lethargic and upset - some of it is obviously hormones/post viral but it all can't be

I have been trying to arrange counselling for her but nothing has happened yet

We told her about her Birthday surprise early (it's a holiday) to try & give her something to look forward to, but it hasn't really worked

So where do I go from here?

bump

Katymac, don't know what to suggest at the moment but just wanted you to know I sympathise. My eldest ds had a spell of illnesses and being down. It eventually passed because we changed schools but I realise that isn't something you can do. I hope you get some good advise.

Thanks - I feel so powerless

Katymac - I am so sorry you are going through this with your DD.

In my experience stress plays a huge part in our general well being, and your DD has obviously had her fair share. Changing schools is massive, as is her father being ill. She has had a lot to worry about. Does she have good friends at school and is she generally happy there? Like you said - hormones will be playing a part and also growth spurts seem to take their toll.

I would take her to see the GP and maybe some sort of tonic to boost her up could be recommended. Stress seems somehow to compromise the immune system and that is why bugs take hold so easily. Maybe something to help her general immunity from a herbalist?

I do hope she picks up soon, I know how worrying it is when our DCs are ill, thinking of you...

katymac My DD has just made the move to comp this Sept and her focus on her friends has really become quite intense - they all keep in touch by text or MSN and are constantly organising meet-ups at the park, trips to town etc. She loves feeling a bit more grown up, but with the security of her close group of friens. Does your DD have a good friendship group? If so, perhaps encouraging her to have girls round to tea or to go to the shops on a Saturday etc. might be good? Otherwise the problems might be partly due to worries about friendships -new school, new people, missing out on social bonding because of illness, all made worse by worrying about her dad. Nothing insurmountable but the kind of thing 11 yr old girls find very important. Maybe trying to help her 'catch up' at school, welcoming old and new friends to your house, encouraging her to join after-school group s and helping her look after her general health with a good diet and plenty of exercise would be a good first port of call before involving counsellors, which might be a bit scary?

Good luck and hope she feels more cheery soon. x

I wonder if she is feeling isolated - I will get more of her friends round. SHe has a good diet but not a good appetite - she asked for 'someone to talk to like when I was bullied' which is why I am after counselling

Stress & her immunity are what I am worried about - do they still do 'tonics'

I am wary about going to the GP as I don't thinks ADs are suitable for children

Thanks you all for your replies

I don't think ADs are suitable either, but perhaps a good multivitamin for the winter. My own DD has been quite ill and fish oil was recommended to help prevent depression, it's also really good for hair and nails etc, her hair has become really thick and glossy .

My DD has been helped by homeopathy and really seems to value the time to chat to someone unconnected but who understands what she has been going through (if you want to know more we're on the chronic fatigue thread).

Teenage years are tough, they go through so many changes. We did find DD's friends invaluable at helping to prevent her feeling isolated. Inviting them round is a good idea.

Just remembered, we did give DD Nestle's Build Up for a while, it is a milk shake type of drink but full of vitamins and was definitely needed at the time.

Fish oil - that's an idea - her dad takes that

I'll have a look for the build up in the shops

she already takes a vitamin

But they are all good suggestions thanks

She started multivitamins yesterday (she had run out & not told me - I bought some more)

Her appetite is better today too. School for a meeting tomorrow then back to school on Tuesday

I'm feeling a bit better about it all