DD underweight - very upset about being referred

[emmywoo]

Dear All, I hvae a just 3 year old dd who I have been told is underweight. For her age and height she should be apparently between 14 - 15 Kilos. She is just over 12. She eats well apart from Veg, wont touch it at all but eats meat, pasta, fruit etc. I have been told that we are going to be referred to a dietician and this has really upset me as I feel as though I am failing her. Can you please advise what weights your children are / were at this age and what I can do to build her up. Many Thanks xxx

hi emmywoo, sorry you're having a hard time.
my DD was referred to a dietician when she was a year old because she was 'failing to thrive'. mine was different though because she really didn't eat much at all, and was a VERY fussy eater. anyway if your daughter is eating well (sounds like she does), try adding cream/butter/cheese to stuff. I was given some high calorie milk shakes from the dietician too - they may give you some of this.

who told you she was overweight, and did you go & see someone because you were concerned? it's just that people get hung up with the weight charts & everyone is different. both me & my husband are quite skinny so our DD was never going to be big. she is still quite skinny compared to a lot of kids her age but she is happy, healthy & eats a lot more things than she used to and enjoys her food

try not to worry, and please don't feel that you are failing her

DD is 3.2 and when last weighed around a fortnight ago was 28lbs - around 12.5kgs I think. She's been ill this past week and I've no doubt she'll have lost a little as she's barely eaten. Has always been between the 2nd and 25th centile for weight and height. She is small in height but then so am I, DH and both our immediate families so hardly surprising. She has some 9-12 month trousers from Mothercare that are only now just beginning to get too short (but fine with boots)!

If your DD is maintaining her weight and not actually losing it, I wouldn't think there's any need to worry. Out of interest - who has said she needs to be referred?

We now have to weigh and height every child that is admitted/seen in clinic and follow a new government screening tool which can lead to referal to a dietician.
I presume most hospitals do the same?

emmywoo, does your DD have any other symptoms that might be giving cause for concern, or is it simply the weight issue that has prompted the referral? As the others have said, if she simply gains weight slowly, but is otherwise healthy and active, then you probably don't have any cause for concern.

My DD1 was finally referred at 2.8, when she was extremely underweight...but she hadn't gained any weight for a year and was otherwise very poorly - frequent vomiting, constant constipation, extreme lethargy and a grey complexion. She also had a very poor appetite. At this point she weighed under 10kg. She was diagnosed with coeliac disease and put on a gluten free diet. Within 2 weeks she was a changed child... and over the next 6 months, she gained over 3 kg and grew 10cm in a year. She's still small for her age, but is perfectly healthy now.

(hello mejon - I never resent that email did I, sorry, will do when I get a chance)

DD1 is a little under 3 stone and turned 8 last month, however she has bags of energy and eats like a horse. Apart from a bad bout of gastritis earlier this year she has never had any health issues. She lost a little weight when she was ill, it went on for a few months as she developed a phobia about being sick following gastroenteritis and would take sort of anxiety attacks but that's by the by. She put weight back on quickly when she started eating properly again but is still thin & small.

As a small child we were always being given leaflets on eating and how to feed up your toddler, I would have needed extra hours in the day to have time for her to eat more. she is still the same and DD2 looks like she'll be a little bigger but still under average and eats like her sister.

If she has no other issues and is similat to other family members I wouldn't let it worry you and don't let either of you get a complex about it.

DD1 was just under 13kg at 2.10, but then started meds which cause weight gain for epilepsy, and is now 14.8kg at 3.10.

Hi all, thanks for all your messages. My dd was rushed to hospital on Saturday afternoon with a rash (all ok now but being referred to a Dermatologist). It was the nurses at the hosptial who advised that she was underweight and she must have been having a bad day as she was really rude. Just as an example she has eaten the following today:
Breakfast: Bowl of weetbix
Midmorning: 2 crumpets and 2 small pancakes
Lunch: 2 slices hot cheese on toast
Afternoon snack: apple
Dinner: pork chop and pasta
Treat: packet of crisps.
xx

She has eaten tons.
My 4yo DS has never eaten that much in one day. I have no idea what he weighs (bad Mum!)
actually I do know he is just over 15kg as he has just moved into the 15g carseat and they weighed him in mothercare.
he is perfectly healthy and active though, just skinny!

this is what i think. She has good days and bad days like all children I expect but this nurse was so adament that she vastly underweight and insinuated that I wasnt feeding her properly and when I started crying she didnt do a thing.