Asbestos in stretchy toy

[Scared80]

Hello
im spiraling and can’t cope. I’ve just found out that my two sons played with the exact same sand filled poop toy that has been recalled because it could contain asbestos.The make and bar code were the same.
It split years ago and I threw it in the bin, but because I didn’t know there was any risk of asbestos in this type of product I just hoovered it up, there was quite a lot of sand.
Im sat here in tears and can’t cope or see a way forward as my children now have the risk of an incurable disease hanging over them. I can’t see a way to get through the next few hours or days I’m so frightened.

i doubt you’ll have any problems.

it’s years and decades of exposure that did harm to workers.

a one off when a you split and you removed it would probably not be a problem.

It is vanishingly small that the incident you’re talking about will have caused harm

I just feel I can’t live with the uncertainty, they are such kind wonderful boys and not knowing whether they will become ill in the future is too much. I feel they’ve got a ticking time bomb on their head and since they’ve got back from school can’t look at them the same, my eyes keep filling with tears

I understand the feeling. You can do breathing exercises to stop you spiraling. You feel under threat, but there's nothing you need to do as the threat is in the past, so it's safe to just distract yourself until the fear passes.

And it’s the fact I know for certain it’s the exact batch number that’s been recalled and that it split so fibers will have been released, made worse by me hovering up. I had no idea

But asbestos will always be a threat now, it’s like they’ve got a death sentence as it takes years to develop

How on earth can you know the bar code is the same if it split and got thrown away years ago?

I honestly think your anxiety is more pressing issue and more likely to cause harm than that toy.

i hate to mention it but we all have a ticking time bomb on us. one in two people born in the uk will get cancer. it’s a stark statistic (provided by cancer research uk)

but i bet it’s not somwthimg that really bothered you. So like that, just dont think about what could happen and concentrate on providing nutritious food, healthy exercise, mental health support and fun as best you can for dc.

Theres nothing else any of us can do but try to live healthily.

This

Op you need to get help for your anxiety. This is not a normal reaction. There is a risk of asbestos exposure from lots of things like after ceiling, walls in schools. There are also literally hundreds of other carcinogens and nasties they are being exposed to daily (brown bits on oven cooked food, the non stick of your pana, the forever chemicals and microplastics in our water supply, air pollution, upfs, mobile phones, radon gas. I could go on all day. The thing is something will kill them one day, hopefully when they are old and if it's cancer you are unlikely to know what caused it. Get a grip.

I have a photo of my child with the toy when it was new, and it still had the label on - the barcode can be seen

I remembered I’d taken a photo of my child with the toy when I saw the recall alert, so went back through my photos and my worst fears were realised

There's nothing to be gained by stressing about it. We live a life surrounded by harmful things. The likelihood of contamination, from a toy with (potential) trace amounts is vanishingly small.

Hi, please try not to worry. I have looked at a lot of these recall notices and they all make it clear that the risk is very low and the recall is precautionary, but obviously once they know that any risk exists they have to recall the product.

No asbestos has been found in play sand, in case anyone is worried.

If you work through all the risks to them, statistically this one is low down the list.

You are letting this beast live rent-free in your head.

Most of us over the age of about 20 will have been routinely exposed to asbestos. Yet mesothelioma is an uncommon cancer, and the vast majority of people developing it worked for many in industries such as shipbuilding.

None of us can know what the future holds for our children. Do not tremble in fear of what might be the worst. Enjoy the moment and build for the best.

This is meant to be bluntly pragmatic, not nasty:

Life is a death sentence. One that we hope will take many, many years to develop.

You need to turn to that inner voice which is tormenting you and tell it bluntly to shut up and piss off. It’s not helping you.

Thank you for your kindness x

In my secondary school (in the late 70s and early 80s) we had asbestos sheets to do experiments on in chemistry, as we used Bunsen burners. We all gouged them with our compasses, generally messed about with them, and bits would break or flake off. None of the girls I still know have asbestos related illnesses. This is vanishingly unlikely from one exposure, even if they were actually exposed, so don’t spiral into worry over it. Everyone my age grew up with asbestos in so many different things, we all had some exposure at some point.

I think it’s more that while I understand life is a death sentence, it’s the fact I know they’ve had an exposure to a substance which causes an incurable illness. And even though the risk is low, it’s still there and we won’t know for years whether they will become ill.

This is such an extreme reaction
I don’t think you should be doing anything than seeking compassionate and immediate help from professionals to help you manage this

I will not ask you to compare this scenario to other scenarios as I don’t want to introduce more fears into your head.

And I do not think we should try to reassure you further, either. This fear of yours is irrational, so no amount of reasoning will quiet it. If anything, reassurance and rationalisation may make it worse as your mind feeds on the attention.

You need to send your attention elsewhere. Acknowledge that you have this feeling, then deliberately move your attention to something else. Something positive, something engaging.

A bit like responding to a child making an outrageous statement: “You’re a carnivorous dinosaur today? That’s nice, dear. Now, shall we have peas or broccoli with our fishfingers tonight?”

You have posted before.
Been told to seek professional help for this catastrophic reaction.

@Scared80as someone who has been where you are, I really hope you manage to get help for the anxiety. It is debilitating, will consume you and nothing anyone says will make you feel better. I agree with @PaperPanama, you need to redirect the chain of thoughts- distract yourself, read, draw, colour…anything that will help you relax

I felt like this, I found out another product we had had asbestos in it. I spiralled a bit, but then I thought about all the many other risks and pollutants to them that they face and come into contact with everyday, there’s just not really anything I can do about any of it. I think it’s worse for them to have a mum spiralling out with anxiety so I try to focus on getting them (and me) some fresh air as much as I can, have healthy food, and encourage them to live healthy lives. It’s really difficult and it’s so so unfair that companies are allowed to make and sell products like this to give to our children. But it’s out of your control and you’ll drive yourself mad. Give yourself today to feel your feelings then try to wake up tomorrow and make the best of it.