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Reality check: How crazy am I being?

6 replies

AprilBaby2025 · 11/09/2026 17:16

I do have bad health anxiety and OCD so I need to know what "normal" parents would think or feel in this situation. I need to know if my worries are valid or just my OCD speaking. What would 95% of parents think?

Daughter is 17 months old.

My daughter was born healthy at 39 weeks. I accidentally gave her HSV1 (cold sore virus) when she was 3.5 months. I regret it everyday. Very stressful for me at the time because she was so young but she was fine. Had quite a few sores around her mouth but no fever and was acting well throughout. Went away in a couple weeks. Looked scary but was uncomplicated and considered mild.

She had a few months without cold sores. But now gets frequent recurrences. At 7 months she got her first recurrence. It was really bad and she spread it to her hands because her hands were ALWAYS in her mouth at the time. No fever or anything and she still acted fine but it looked physically bad. Went away in a couple weeks.

Her recurrences in the first year of her life got milder though still physically looked large. She gets them now on her hands and her face.

Now recently, her recurrences over the past 6 months have been incredibly mild. She does start acyclovir on the first day we see blisters, but even before she starts the drug the outbreaks start out much milder. They now only last 3-5 days and are very small and superficial (on her fingers and mouth). They honestly started going away after 2 days now. Colds are big triggers (and she started daycare this year which is a germ fest). Her eczema/dry skin is also a trigger.

The cold sores themselves don't really bug me right now. They appear to be really mild.

But of course, I am worried about rare dangerous genetic immunodeficiencies that could be CAUSING her frequent recurrences. I looked into GATA2 deficiency, DOCK8 deficiency, etc. My biggest current worry is GATA2. I am worried my husband has it and is undiagnosed. Why did she get a symptomatic infection at 3 months old? apparently that's rare. Why do they occur so often?

She also may have a few very tiny Molluscum Contagiosum bumps right now (apparently a very common viral infection in toddlers?). Otherwise she is healthy. Has only had a few minor daycare colds, one roseola and one norovirus in her life (she got a very mild version of norovirus which completely wiped out me and her dad). Growing great, active, crazy toddler. Only had 3 mild short-lived fevers in her life (1 with a cold, 1 with roseola and 1 with norovirus).

Me and my husband are healthy. Rarely get sick apart from a couple minor colds a year. Haven't been on antibiotics in like 15+ years. But this summer my husband had a skin boil on his leg from a hair follicle (popped on its own after a week) and right now he has a skin infection around the nail bed of his thumb. And I am very worried this is an immune system issue that he passed down to my daughter.

Also, I analyze her skin so much. I notice the occasional teeny tiny pinpoint (usually isolated and one-off) petechiae (broken blood vessel). Usually it's just a one off singular pinpoint dot. Earlier this week though when I picked her up from her new daycare she had a cluster under her eyes, though it faded a lot by the next morning. And then I analyze her skin for more of them. A couple days later I find a single tiny pinpoint petechiae in the spot where her cold sore recently healed 2 weeks ago. So I think about immunodeficiencies that can also cause petechiae. Or maybe it's leukemia?

Am I being crazy? Is the worry about immune problems just my anxiety speaking? What would you think as a normal parent lol

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Itsbeenalongtimeincoming · 11/09/2026 17:45

There is absolutely nothing in what you have written that would worry me except you carefully analysing your child’s skin and your health anxiety/ Your child seems fine. The other two things are extreme.

Moros · 11/09/2026 18:31

This is your anxiety speaking. It's very common for cold sore outbreaks to get milder over time. Babies and toddlers get spots, rashes, blemishes etc all the time. Just as you did when you were tiny.

OtterMummy2024 · 11/09/2026 20:24

If she had a rare monogenic HSV susceptibility she would have developed EXTREMELY severe symptoms on primary infection. She does not have a DOCK8, GATA2, Unc13D or any other mutation or she would be hospitalised by each reactivation.

OtterMummy2024 · 11/09/2026 20:26

Toddlers are rashy. This is definitely your health anxiety speaking. Big hugs, because OCD is shit, but the answer here is deal with your health anxiety because reassurance generally makes OCD worse.

Meand2Ls · 11/09/2026 20:33

I think your guilt about giving her the virus is taking over and feeding your anxiety and ocd. Neonatal herpes can be v v serious and you were super lucky in your case it wasn’t.

peanutForever · 11/09/2026 20:38

OCD has taken over OP and i think its great you are open to listening otherwise you wouldnt have made this post. Health Anxiety is awful and you shouldnt have to deal with it! Is there anyone you can talk to because its not fair to yourself to be spending so much time analysing

what youve described- Little one is completely fine with a recurrent condition..all very normal and doesnt indicate anything odd. If she has started nursery (germ fest) then your immune systems are all compromised hence why DH probs has two minor issues occuring after good health not that hes passed something down to her

only thing i can say is get your daughter a blood test- if all is fine with wbc etc then you can put it to rest maybe?

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