Poo withholding hell

[YourRubyMaker]

Please help we’re in the trenches , 3.5 year old potty trained in wees but will not poo , started off withholding then we managed to do some poos in the potty but it involved hours and hours of and off the potty until he couldn’t hold it anymore . held it In so much got constipated so we put laxatives in drink from doctors But still even if it’s hanging out he will not just push it out he’s petrified , won’t even put a nappy on to poo in it it’s honestly ruining life atm can’t leave the house and all day is filled with him whinging alllll day but he won’t go then ends up pooing himself and cry’s …. He’s so stubborn it took ages for him to just agree to potty train so I don’t realistically want to go backwards as he is great with the wees and doesn’t even wee in the night nappy , it’s been 4 weeks of hell we have toilet seats. Steps , potty’s , sticker charts , rewards be really wants. Choc etc

It is the absolute worst, you have my total sympathy. You can contact Jamie Glowecki (not sure how to spell her name) directly on Instagram and she will help you 1:1. I ended up doing that in desperation after my 3 year old withheld poo for 15 days. My DD was pooing fine within a week and hasn't looked back since.

Been there and finally coming out the other side.

1. have a look at the ERIC website and Movicol Mummies on Facebook.

2. get Movicol from your doctor. It can take a while for some kids to drink the amount they need. Takes trial and error to find what they will drink it mixed in, but once they take it, it really helps. My DD has it mixed with chocolate oat milk. I know others that mix it with juice or even Coke.

3. know you’re not alone. It’s really hard going through it and I cried many times. DD is 7 now and no longer withholds but her bowel stretched so much that she needs to be on movicol until the rest of her catches up :(

4. some good books to read together are ‘it hurts when I poop’ and ‘poo goes to poo land’

What did she advise to do ? Did you just private message her ?

Wow, amazing! How did she help?

@LapinR0se

She has an app where you send her videos and voice notes and she sends them back.

She recommended a particular kind of suppository for my daughter and a reward system for pooing. At this point my daughter was on 6 sachets of Movicol per day but she needed a stimulant suppository also. Movicol on its own was not enough. She was able to hold in very runny poop and the original blockage was not coming out. Once that was out and she had lots of positive feedback for pooing, everything went better.

You have my sympathies, ds2 went through this. Took nine sodding years to finally get him to go regularly, he ended up becoming constipated and relying on laxatives for years.

It's awful isn't it. Dd1 was like this when we potty trained and needed laxatives but eventually she went every few days. It returned during lockdown when she was 5, from not really knowing what was happening I suppose. We tried various laxatives over around six month and she ended up with about three weeks of continuous movicol, then perhaps once ir twice a week for a while after that.

It has no lasting effects - ethier the withholding or the laxatives - so don't be worried about lots of medication to sort it.

I’d be very cautious of the Oh Crap woman. I think you’d be able to get the same information from ERIC for free (and that will be neuro affiriming, for many withholders ND can play a part)

I can only say that it worked for me.
ERIC and my GP were just pushing a heavy dose of Movicol, which ultimately wasn't enough on its own.

Laxatives do make him go eventually but it’s always in his pants , if he attempts the potty or toilet as soon as he feels it coming he’s off 😭 we’ve ended up in most days as he’s just constantly whinging cos of stomach ache it’s becoming so awful

We did have to go back to nappies for a bit with my DD (she hated it as she was at school at the time)

we also had a vibrating watch that told her to go to the toilet which helped her.

I feel there is a bit of PDA involved for her so the demand of us telling her to go was too much. She responded better to the watch (don’t ask me why)

He’s not withholding wee as he’s realised that pushing the wee sometimes leads to the poo coming out too , I’m really at a loss as he won’t even poo in a nappy so not like putting him back in them will help

Try pico sulphate.

We had this with my daughter. What worked was getting advice from ERIC, movicol, rewards (for her it was a new paw patrol teddy for every 10 poos in the potty) and patience. It was very very stressful though so I sympathise. I remember one holiday in France where she refused to poo for the entire fortnight being particularly grim. The movicol does take time to get the right dose. (NB Mine turned out to be autistic and I think PDA probably also a factor for us as for a previous poster so watch out for other signs).

Make a GP appointment and get referred to the paeds bladder and bowel team. Honestly I put it off for ages but should have done it so much sooner.

This is something that needs support and proper medical intervention for.

It took a long time for it to get sorted and there were lots of accidents along the way. We have got there with the withholding but it will still be a while with movicol.