Hello everyone.
I am sorry if this turns into a long post, but the context is important to hopefully avoid people hating us, as I understand this is a delicate topic.
My family's foreskins are cursed.
My dad was circumcised when he was a child because of repeated foreskin issues, and while his brother (my uncle) wasn't done at the time, he did later get it done is his 20s after finally admitting he'd had problems with it for years and was just too scared to talk about it. Their dad was also done, as far as we can remember.
I had to have it done when I was 13 after many years of infections and creams and unsuccessful stretching. It was, and I can't stress this enough, the worst experience of my life. The constant doctors appointments over the years were embarrassing. The operation itself, which I was awake for, was horrible, and the less said about the healing after at a time where my hormones were in full swing, the better. I hated everything about it. I also hated being one of the only ones in my school that had had it done, as this was back in the days of communal PE showers at school, so as you can imagine, I was big news around the school at the time.
Fast forward to the next generation, and my older sister's 9yo son has already needed a circumcision after having multiple problems and my younger sister's 6yo son is on a waiting list for one.
As for me, I currently have two DS and another arriving imminently. DS1 is 8 and after years of issues like I had, is now on the waiting list like his cousin. He is miserable about it all and just wants it to be over. He is a shy lad, so all the doctors appointments with people looking down there, the creams, and most importantly the discomfort he is in, are really getting him down. DS2 is 5 and has also started to get the same issues as his brother, and has had a couple of infections already, so I can see him heading down the same path.
Which brings me to my difficult question, and something my wife and I have discussed a lot: do we go private when DS3 arrives and circumcise all three to get it over with for the sake of sparing the boys more problems and embarrassment?
Now, I need to be very clear: we are not a pro-circ family. When I first met my wife, we discussed at length my dislike of needing to have it done, and how mad it is that it is done routinely in some parts of the world. We live in a country where it is not common, and we don't believe the propaganda about the alleged health benefits. "It is cleaner" is not a reason in a world where baths and showers exist, in our opinion.
However, we are now several years into treating and caring for troublesome foreskins, we see the impact is has on our sons when the problems flare up, and I myself vividly remember what I went through as a kid. The chances are, with the family history as it is, that DS2 and DS3 are going to need it doing at some point, so is getting it done when they are younger and will forget the process better? Or do we simply roll the dice and hope they don't grow up with the same traumatic memories I have?
Thank you for your opinions (please be nice!)