11-year-old daughter often smells of urine, hygiene issue or something else?

[SurreySenMum26]

Dd 11 oftens smell quite strongly of wee. I have tried really carefully to address this with her but she gets very offended. Could this just be a personal hygiene issue? Sometimes it smells like she has actually wet herself. It's not a new thing but it's getting worse

I would advise using toilet wipes for her rather than tissue it may be that she’s not wiping properly, I’d also recommend laying out clean knickers for her every day. If not, may only get worse when she has her period.

I have asked if she wipes. She said she does. I did her washing and sprayed with stain remover and the clothes felt hot to the touch and foamed up. Suggesting it's not a minor amount of wee

It sounds like she's wetting herself, rather than just not wiping, if she smells strongly of wee. I think I'd want to get it checked out in case she is suffering from urinary incontinence and/or a UTI. It's not normal for an 11-year-old to smell strongly of wee and she risks being bullied for it if it goes on into secondary school.

This used to be me as a child but I didn't know anything was wrong as my mum never spotted it. I had urge incontinence, so I didn't always get to the toilet in time. It wasn't until I was 18 that I took myself to the doctor and had it investigated. Please ask her if she sometimes leaks wee, or gets an urgent need to wee and doesn't always make it in time. My mum thought I was just lazy 🫤

One of my daughters had continence problems when she was around 9 it was taken very seriously and she saw a consultant very quickly. It can be a sign of neurological issues, and is very rarely down to laziness. She needs to see the GP.

It is urine or ammonia?

It might be a good idea to check het kidney function.

Does she drink a lot? Could it be diabetes?

She strongly denies anything is wrong and gets very upset however gentle I am

Something in this gave me pause. If she's clean and showering every day and wearing clean clothes and underwear every day, she should not be smelling of urine. There are a few liver or kidney disorders that would mean ammonia would be excreted through sweat / the skin - if you genuinely are sure she's washing with soap every day and wearing clean clothes every day you should take her to a doctor.

How would tell?

She did a research blood test for type 1 diabetes that the whole school did and was found very unlikely to develop T1

Not seen her drink or wee excessively that I have noticed really.

What worries me is I can smell it from over a metre away, that the stain remover foamed up like it does for blood and her clothes are quite crusty like at some point in the day they been soaked.

Ask your GP to do a blood test.
Also, if she’s leaking urine it might be an urinary infection.

It might be worth checking with your GP.

If you think it's that she's leaking could you discreetly swap out her underwear for period pants which would absorb any drips and also block smells. If the smell goes, you know that's it and it's not a kidney malfunction. But she should still see a doc.

She has some and refuses to wear them unfortunately

She needs to go to the gp. She doesn’t get to decide sadly.

The fact that she gets upset when you ask suggests to me that there is a problem and she’s trying to hide it. I think it’s doctor time.

I strongly agree with this, OP. I’ve had this problem most of my life and it gets worse as I get older.

I’m almost certain it’s not just what people think of as a “hygiene” problem. She really needs your help in sorting this out now, whilst she is at the age where you can help her get the medical attention she needs. She simply cannot go on into teenage and adult life smelling unpleasant. Please help her now and be firm. She needs your parenting and support.

In the meantime could she use a pantyliner?

Really sounds like she’s having accidents. And is embarrassed about it. Does she drink enough? Drinking less in an attempt to avoid accidents is a common cause of making them worse, as concentrated urine irritates the bladder. Is she constpated? That can make wetting worse.

Is she constipated too? Sometimes constipation can interfere with bladder control.

I have asked if she is constipated and she says she isn't.

Rather than asking if she’s constipated, show her the stool chart and ask her to point to it, and say how often she goes. That’s much more useful information.

Op I really sympathise, but I think you may need to tell her she is seeing a doctor. She either can't stop herself from wetting herself, or urine is simply leaking out, however embarrassed she is, those are serious medical issues.