Gymnastics coach bringing up 5yo weight

[BoldUser]

My daughter has a stocky build- as did I as a child. Very strong, but I would agree she is carrying some puppy fat too.

She has been attending a recreational gymnastics class for last 18 months and absolutely loves it. She spends more time on her hands than her feet.

Coach today invited her to trial for the squad for a term in September. However she said that whilst she is great at everything else, she struggles on the bars- can hang and swing but lacks upper body strength to lift herself up and over. Alluded to her losing some weight and that this would help her. She also said if she didn’t manage to master the bars then she would fail the trial and go back to her current “fun” class.

I’m torn- she’s clearly got the skill to at least give competitive gymnastics a go. She enjoys it and seems like she would enjoy the challenge. We are working on making healthy choices at home, drinking more water, fuelling our body with the right energy and being strong. However I don’t want to potentially put her in a situation where her self esteem/body image is impacted. The coach mentioning her weight so explicitly is a red flag to me- although I know what she’s saying makes sense. She’s only 5 and I feel such responsibility to get this right as the early years are so formative.

Part of me is so proud that she’s dedicated so much time to practicing that she’s been invited to trial. The other side of me wants to protect her from any body image issues. Parents are not allowed to watch the classes so I don’t have an idea of language used within the gym. What would you do?

Yeah I agree, who even says that about a 5 year old. Would hate to imagine what's being said when parents leave!

If she's overweight and can't lift her body weight on the bars, then competitive gymnastics probably isn't the right thing for her at the moment.
I would stick to recreational and just have fun.
Watch her portion sizes and try to prevent more weight gain just for her own health rather than to excel in gymnastics.

I agree - if she is struggling to lift her body weight on the bars at 5 years old, I don’t think competitive gymnastics is the way forward. Any there is potential for some much damage to be done if the coaches say inappropriate things about weight.
She could have so much fun with non-competitive gymnastics and still reach a good level.

This is one of the main reasons I knocked ‘proper’ gymnastics on the head when it looked like DD might get onto the competitive programme.

Ive had disordered eating in one form or another for decades and I will do everything I can to keep her away from anything that might set it off

.

Well does she need to lose weight? That would be my first concern - as in, is this woman saying it because she’s a psycho gymnastics nut or is she actually pointing out something that you’ve been in denial about?

I did gymnastics as a child.

upper body strength develops as you use it and train those muscles. Unless she’s really really overweight then her weight doesn’t make much difference.

if you want her in the programme (and personally I’d have doubts) work on her upper body strength not losing weight.

The OP says her child is stocky and has puppy fat, she doesn't sound like she's in denial.

Competitive gymnastics is well known for having a problem with disordered eating. Lots of headlines over recent years, and British Gymnastics have not stamped all those attitudes out.

I can recommend trampolining for being fun and very high energy use, and competition is still there if your daughter wants it. While trampolining is part of British Gymnastics, it is much more 'normal' culturally. Diving - at least at entry-level - is also fun and good for kids who like gymnastics.

FFS who reinforces loosing weight to a 5yo regardless of a sport!!!!!

Has gymnastics learnt nothing in recent years.

I'd inform the coach I'd be reporting it to the governing organisation.

The potential to implant the seeds of body dysmorphia and / or an eating disorder are huge!

Read up on the rife abuse of child gymnasts once they are under the authority of competitive coaches. She's five. The idea of moving her out of a fun class into a less fun class is all the information I'd need. Extracurricular should be fun at all ages, but especially when you are five!

Children very rarely need to lose weight. If they are overweight, they need to maintain weight and grow into a healthy height to weight ratio. Making children diet guarantees a life long issue with food.

I think parents using the phrase puppy fat is often a sign that they are in denial about their child’s weight tbh.

I’m not saying OP is in denial. But I don’t think her phrasing rules it out.

My dd was invited to trial too. I watched her practice. She was ok but by no means fantastic. But guess what. 'squad' wasn't just one hour a week it was something like 4-5 hours so I think they just do it to drum up cash. We refused on the basis that 4-5 hours is ridiculous unless you are 95% certain you have a Simone biles.

Unfortunately the fun class dd attended was then half squad girls and half non squad and the former got preferential treatment meaning the fun club then became no fun.

All the stuff around th culture of gymnastics was also coming out at the time.

Dd dropped out and went off to do dance which she much prefers.

I wouldnt do it oo. If the coach has made such obvious comments to you then they're probably making constant insidious jibes at your dd during practice.

There's no such thing as puppy fat. If your child is overweight then you need to address that, gymnastics or not.

There are usually lots of different squad levels within competitive gymnastics and I think in general coaching practices have significantly improved (especially if you’re not top squad). Unfortunately gymnastics is one of those sports that is hard to get into later so if your dd is really keen I’d consider getting a pull up bar at home to try and help her upper body strength for the trial- she can just practice hanging on it. I’d be more concerned if parents aren’t allowed to watch any sessions to be honest- that would put me off more. Is that the same for squad? I’d expect to be able to watch a bit.

I was a fat child who did gymnastics and got no where despite being good because... I was fat /too heavy.
I was told I was big and stocky had puppy fat... I was fat. __My parents overfed me.

i work hard on my childrens nutrition and lifestyle to ensure they doesnt suffer the same fate.
Up to you what you do here but I dont think the coach was out of line.

The coach brought up in the context of she cannot do bars and alluded to the reason (her weight). And was factually saying your child cant make the team without the bars.

I’m a bit floored any 5 year old can do that! At 5 most kids are doing tumbles in the grass! Do you really want your child going into this world? Honest question, sounds like setting them up for paranoia and rejection

As someone who has been overweight my entire life, listen. Please. Don’t just brush it off. Don’t say “oh it’ll affect her”, start reinforcing genuinely healthy habits.

Good eating habits, less snacking, and movement for fun every day. Don’t put pressure on her to lose weight, but make sure she’s healthy.

I have a 9yo. She never, ever sits still and as a result is very slim. She can't do that move on the bar, I presume as she doesn't have the strength for it. She does recreational gymnastics for 1 hour per week. Her friend is in the squad at another club (has been since age 5) and does hours a week (I think about 9 hours) plus does extra conditioning at home. She also has a contract that she won't miss training without good reason.

When is the trial? Is she realistically going to master that move in time, if it involves gaining strength? You might not have much choice to make.

We are very lucky to be part of a recreational only club, which means they can stay recreational until 18 if they want without being sidelined. I know this can be an issue elsewhere.

Thanks for all the input everyone.

This is alien territory for our family as we are all team sport players eg football and the way this works is not something we have experience with.

To answer some questions-

The trial is a term- September until Christmas.

She can lift her own weight on a chest height bar- it’s the taller overhead bar she can’t pull up on to. I’m not sure how realistic it is that she will develop that strength in a matter of months!

We have got lots in place at home to maintain a healthy relationship with food. I’m under no illusion that we need to cut down on the snacking- we are making progress there, albeit slow. Equally not denying she has some excess fat- something we are approaching for her general health, not for gymnastics. I want her to be able to make her own good choices when it comes to her nutrition. If anyone has any tips for getting the grandparents more onboard with this (but that’s another thread entirely!).

By the sounds of it I don’t think the club culture is one I would be comfortable with my daughter being in. I may speak to some of the other mums there and get some extra opinions but this thread has definitely helped!

I think to an extent even as a child you either have the body shape for artistic gymnastics (ie all 4 events, as opposed to rec gym which is often more tumbling and vault) or you don't. One of my daughters is more of a natural than the other, and could do what you are describing on a bar aged 3 at pre-school classes. She's always been very slim but strong. The two children eat the same but different bodies are built differently. Ultimately, she'd almost certainly end up too tall to be a gymnast anyway though. It's a tough sport and so much comes down to luck - maintaining the right body shape as you grow, avoiding injury - that I'd only let my children consider being involved if they showed a massive amount of passion for it. Unfortunately there is often a big gap in provision between rec gym and squad so it can be hard to properly progress on a rec programme.

Have you measured her height/weight recently and worked out her centiles? If there is a big discrepancy would be an indicator of something that needs working on as a long term plan, irrespective of specific sports.

Five year olds really shouldn't be fat, even on a healthy 10 year old you should be able to see their ribs. Once fat cells are laid down they never go away, they may be empty but they're there. That makes it harder for people to lose weight once they've put in on. It's great that you're getting on top of this OP but you really do need to take it seriously, not just looking at snacking and healthy eating but also at portion size. You cannot expect her to make her own good nutrition choices at 5 year old though, you need to parent her.

Obviously you need to also be careful if your dd starts to take gymnastics seriously, you don't want her to go to the other end of the scale and end up feeling she has to starve herself.

The fact you use the word stocky and puppy fat makes me think perhaps there is an issue. I suspect your dd isn’t ready for competitive gymnastics and instead is better suited to mixed fitness, some gymnastics and some other sports to let her as she grows become a healthy weight