Gymnastics coach bringing up 5yo weight

[BoldUser]

My daughter has a stocky build- as did I as a child. Very strong, but I would agree she is carrying some puppy fat too.

She has been attending a recreational gymnastics class for last 18 months and absolutely loves it. She spends more time on her hands than her feet.

Coach today invited her to trial for the squad for a term in September. However she said that whilst she is great at everything else, she struggles on the bars- can hang and swing but lacks upper body strength to lift herself up and over. Alluded to her losing some weight and that this would help her. She also said if she didn’t manage to master the bars then she would fail the trial and go back to her current “fun” class.

I’m torn- she’s clearly got the skill to at least give competitive gymnastics a go. She enjoys it and seems like she would enjoy the challenge. We are working on making healthy choices at home, drinking more water, fuelling our body with the right energy and being strong. However I don’t want to potentially put her in a situation where her self esteem/body image is impacted. The coach mentioning her weight so explicitly is a red flag to me- although I know what she’s saying makes sense. She’s only 5 and I feel such responsibility to get this right as the early years are so formative.

Part of me is so proud that she’s dedicated so much time to practicing that she’s been invited to trial. The other side of me wants to protect her from any body image issues. Parents are not allowed to watch the classes so I don’t have an idea of language used within the gym. What would you do?

OP not only sounds like she's massively in denial, but is also being defensive, triggered herself, and now being supported by everyone who thinks a professional is triggering an eating disorder. Which will be total bollocks. Let's face it, stocky is a euphemism for something, and it's not usually for strength

Imagine the embarrassment your child will feel being knocked back for a class they love because they can't lift themselves up?

She's 5..... at that age I would say:

• should be constantly active - take her to park between gym to practise upper body strength on monkey bars. It does come quickly. 'show mummy your handstand!' kind of thing. This can be done in a way that is fun and fills her with pride
• you can control most of what goes into her mouth. get rid of all UPF in the house. Dessert is only ever a yoghurt or fruit. Pizza is e.g. friday night only. No soft drinks, no chocolate lying around. This can be tasty and yummy and she will soon get super healthy (lose weight?). 5 yr olds don't generally have puppy fat

You can help her achieve it to the next class, or get offended. Take your pick

Simone Biles is stocky and was often 'body shamed' about it, I don't think anyone could say she wasn't right for gymnastics!

When ds was this age his best friend was enrolled in gymnastics and was constantly being lectured about his weight and fitness and 'commitment' - the attitude of the people running the classes was all or nothing, intended to prepare them for the rigours of competitive sport from the earliest age. It's not a healthy environment for any kid that wants to have fun.

@1diamondearing please explain why fruit is not a better alternative to biscuits when fruit contains fibre, vitamins and minerals. Fruit also contains natural sugar which spikes your insulin less than refined sugar. Whereas biscuits contain refined sugars which affect your body differently and have barely anything nutritional.

I didn't say fruit wasn't a better alternative, I took issue with the poster saying eat fruit instead of biscuits because biscuits contain sugar, when fruit also contains sugar

And it contains fructose, rather than sucrose, which is worse for you, because it is not so easily recognised by the body, so yes, it triggers less of an insulin spike, but no, that is not a good thing, as insulin brings blood sugar down, and so fructose is much less controlled in your blood.

It is healthy to insulin spikes, sure, so avoid snacking, avoid artificial sweetners, avoid sugar as a whole, but don't kid yourself that using a type of sugar that sneaks under the radar and bypass your sugar control mechanisms is better for you, because it is not.

Sugar is a simple compound, whether sucrose, or fructose or galactose or maltose, or whatever. It makes no difference if it is "refined". Highly processed food is damaging to the metabolism due to the combination and ration of fatty acids. It makes no difference if sugar is processed or not, it is just sugar.

Fruit is a better option than biscuit, but not because of sugar. A vegetable snack would be a better option than either

Fruit is incredibly healthy for you, and it is wrongly demonised. No one is fat from fruit. Fruit contains the fibres that mean the fructose is slowly released into the system. There is a group set up by Type 1 Diabetics called "Mastering Diabetes" and they advocate and are successful on a very high fruit and complex carb diet, very low fat. Diabetes is faulty sugar metabolism but it is caused by fat clogging up the mechanism and not by sugar.

This is a great shout! 🙂

I suppose there's stocky and stocky. I meant my type which is very strong, wide, and not bendy. I don't mean the pocket rocket powerhouse type.

Thanks I will also look into this! 🙂

For whatever it's worth, gymnastics is a very specific sort of sport that does - too quickly - require a specific sort of skill set and, unfortunately, body type goes along with that. Appreciate she's 5 but if she isn't really, really into it yet, it's a good opportunity to encourage other options and to help her find something that might work for her longer term. Others have made great suggestions - cheerleading, trampolining, various dance options (wouldn't necessarily suggest ballet as you'll run into similar eventually), rugby, etc.

I have been really careful about my daughter's dancing. She absolutely loves it but there's a whole different sort of pressure involved in sports that involve how you look as a key part of it. Lots of talk about hair and makeup and whatnot. it's not my favourite part of it and it's really hard to keep it balanced.

Schools aren't doing that, the NHS does. The nurses don't discuss weight with the child.

Fair enough! 😁 Most 5 year olds are pretty bendy tho, whatever their shape.

Agree. There's no 'giving it a go' in competitive gymnastics, even at the age. Either they're good enough or there not. And I don't mean that in a nasty way or to be judgemental. My daughter is 5 and I'm a competitive group and I'm considering pulling her out, it's so serious, so quickly and I feel the fun being removed out of it. The session length and frequency ramps up quickly and they have to be able to keep up.

Well don't let her do the trial because he's already said she'll fail it.
Just keep it a fun hobby. I think otherwise there is a danger she could go down the ED route. Being told you're fat by a man while wearing tiny costumes and compared to others bodies from aged five onwards could only end in tears in my view.

If you state your own child is fat/overweight then why is it so shocking for a professional coach to state the same in relation to the sport? Allowing children to be visibly overweight at only 5 years old is bad parenting.

Find her a Cheerleading or Acro dance class! All her skills will be perfect for those, she would love them!

It really is not rubbish. The medical guidance to stop young children becoming (more) overweight is for them to gain weight more slowly not to lose weight -ie to grow into their weight. A young child's job is to grow until they become an adult not to reduce in size at any point. At a certain age this advice will change depending on the child and their weight but not at 5 years old!!

Tbh I think all the chat of gymnastics and trials is a red herring and shouldn’t be your priority. If she overweight? All the evidence states that children who are overweight most likely go on to be overweight adults and will have all the health problems associated with that. Check the nhs bmi calculator for children and see where she’s sitting. If she’s overweight you need to address that and not do that she will excel at gymnastics but because it’s your duty as a parent. You don’t need to discuss it with her, simply reduce portions and encourage more activity. No need to worry about giving her body image issues at 5 she doesn’t need to be part of the conversation. She eats only what you provide so it should be simple to resolve.

But if they carry on eating as they are that won’t happen? They will continue to gain.

Puppy fat, stocky, sturdy - unfortunately every child I know whose parents describe them in this way is noticeably overweight.

Put the gymnastics to one side, the priority is your DD health. What does she eat in a typical day?

Gymnastics requires a certain body type and the more your DD progresses in the sport, the more that will become apparent. Dance is the same.

It puts strain on the shoulders and arm joints if a child has a stocky build. It's not all misogynistic 'thin is good' messaging.

I think the problem is the term “losing weight”. What almost everybody who uses that term ACTUALLY means is to lower body fat percentage, nobody is advocating muscle loss here. A child described as “stocky” and with “puppy fat” absolutely needs to lower her body fat percentage. Your experience in nutrition will mean that you are aware that you should be able to see the contours of a child’s ribs.

Simone Biles is absolutely not stocky in the normal sense of the word. She is absolutely tiny. She has a similar build to Shawn Johnson and Sam Peszek rather than the balletic build of someone like Nastia Luikin, which was more of a favoured body type until around d the 2008 quad. The Code of Points favours gymnasts of her build now which is one of the reasons why China has really struggled in recent quads, particularly on floor and vault. Put Simone Biles in a room with average 20 somethings though and she would have the lowest body fat percentage of anyone there.

Yes even in BMI terms hers is within healthy range (23.3) and in her case you'd want to adjust significantly for muscularity. Nobody would call Biles "stocky" if she lined up alongside top sprinters, say - it's just that people's (including coaches') picture of a female gymnast haven't kept up.

Words like "stocky" are used in such an inconsistent way anyway, rarely tells you anything about a person's actual proportions.

@BoldUser Experienced gym mum here! 👋🏼

Gymnastics has changed a lot in recent years but there are sadly still some dinosaurs around.

is the coach who made the comments the club’s head coach or just the class head coach? If they run the club I would leave and find a new one. And if you can be bothered, report it to British Gymnastics for a breach in safeguarding policy. As this is not an appropriate way to treat your child.

if it is a class coach, complain to the head coach and also the safeguarding lead. Coaches are not permitted to advise regarding weight except to suggest there may be value in you checking with a GP or dietitian. They should never be making weight loss a prerequisite for membership of a class or squad.

How you manage your child’s diet/weight should be down to you and your medical advisors only.

I hope your child does well in their trial - modern gymnasts are often stocky.

Thank you for your insight! Much appreciated.

The person in question is the clubs head coach. I think you’ve answered my question!

I would let her do the trial if she really wants to but make sure she knows its ok not to get on the squad. The hours it would take up could be used to do something more fun like football or tampolining, or just being.

Don't make a big deal out of changing her diet, just do it gradually without discussion. Think about it at every meal, drinking water instead of juice or fizz is a good start. Add a piece of her favourite fruit at each meal (eg a large strawberry!) to make it enjoyable. If possible avoid snacks altogether, but have fruit or veg eg grapes, half a banana or small apples available if snacks are needed. My children used to love half a pear chopped into fingers at this age. Very sweet but also healthy and gets them used to fruit. There are loads of lovely options in the shops at the moment, peaches, apricots, plums, raspberries etc. Just offer a small piece at first and eat it yourself if she wont!
It might help to lead by example, so she sees you eating fruit as well.
Hidden sugar and processed foods is often a problem, foods designed to appeal to children, eg yoghurts, breakfast cereals, are often over-processed junk loaded with sugar and/or salt.
Stick to fruit, veg, non-processed meat, eggs, cheese, all the stuff our grand parents ate.