Gymnastics coach bringing up 5yo weight

[BoldUser]

My daughter has a stocky build- as did I as a child. Very strong, but I would agree she is carrying some puppy fat too.

She has been attending a recreational gymnastics class for last 18 months and absolutely loves it. She spends more time on her hands than her feet.

Coach today invited her to trial for the squad for a term in September. However she said that whilst she is great at everything else, she struggles on the bars- can hang and swing but lacks upper body strength to lift herself up and over. Alluded to her losing some weight and that this would help her. She also said if she didn’t manage to master the bars then she would fail the trial and go back to her current “fun” class.

I’m torn- she’s clearly got the skill to at least give competitive gymnastics a go. She enjoys it and seems like she would enjoy the challenge. We are working on making healthy choices at home, drinking more water, fuelling our body with the right energy and being strong. However I don’t want to potentially put her in a situation where her self esteem/body image is impacted. The coach mentioning her weight so explicitly is a red flag to me- although I know what she’s saying makes sense. She’s only 5 and I feel such responsibility to get this right as the early years are so formative.

Part of me is so proud that she’s dedicated so much time to practicing that she’s been invited to trial. The other side of me wants to protect her from any body image issues. Parents are not allowed to watch the classes so I don’t have an idea of language used within the gym. What would you do?

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nothing to be "torn" about here - no one in their right mind suggests a 5 year old loses weight, ever. Gains weight more slowly, perhaps, if they are obese, but only a medical professional, and only will all information at their fingertips. Not a sports coach with the aim of making them perform unnatural movements in skimpy clothing

Just leave her to have fun in that fun class.
She will trim down and gain upper body strength in her own time.
Five is very young.

I am fat and have a terrible relationship with food. I also have a 12 year old daughter who is a ballet dancer so I am really, really careful about how I talk about food (and myself) around her. Trying to break this generational curse for her!

I think this specific gymnastics opportunity is a bad fit and would instead consider finding another sort of movement to try out alongside the fun gymnastics class. Or perhaps a different fun gymnastics class altogether if this teacher is involved in both as she will definitely be saying something else to the girls directly if that's what she's saying to you.

I did ballet at 10 and my teacher told me I needed to lose weight as I looked ridiculous (I did not actually, I just didn't look like a ballerina which was totally fair). It really spiralled me into a bad place with food and body image. So please be careful.

I really like my daughter's main dance school as they have a session once a year they call something like 'eating for strength' and it's all about how to make sure you are eating the things to support you in becoming stronger. Huge emphasis on ensuring you have loads of protein, eat a good breakfast, make sure to eat before a long class (she has class 2-3 hours most days), etc.

What rubbish.

I am very worried indeed that you think it is ok to suggest a 5 year old loses weight. Of course it isn't - ever. If this was heard in a school it would be a safeguarding referral.

You do realise that actually schools are weighing primary age children, discussing those results and sending letters home to parents labelling them obese & in need of losing weight?

DS' gymnastics class is 4-6 year olds in split groups, last week the 5 and 6 year olds all did bars and could all pull up over head the 6 year olds then hand walked(?) from one end to the other and back again holding their own weight and separately hung for 30 seconds, apart from one girl she is visibly bigger than the others. Extra weight will make it harder. That's not a squad class it's for fun btw. DS also climbed the high rope and worked on vault which also require upper body strength. She's going to need extra upper body strength to lift more weight than the others so will find it more difficult. It's just a fact.

I mean, if a 5 year old weighed eg 40kg (especially if not especially tall), then intervening for their health likely would involve an expectation of weight loss? Even just maintaining that weight would require significant excess food intake. You wouldn't just want to keep it static until they are 8 or so. Note this is a hypothetical example (and not OP's child) but not that extreme.

Competitive gymnastics with coaches at 5yo , is this really a thing?

Cant it just be a fun thing at that age?

This is where reality clashes with morality.

The reality is that gymnasts need to be lean and muscular and often very lithe to compete at a very high level.

It is immoral suggesting a 5 year old should lose weight unless it is a health issue.

I’d continue as you are making the best food choices and focusing on health and then I’d let nature decide if gymnasts is the type of hobby for her. There are really good other options these days, stronger girls are needed for those cheerleading types of group gymnastics.

It's not just okay, it's necessary. Especially when the parents are in denial and using excuses like it being "puppy fat".

It is not ok, ever. A fat 5 year old needs to gain weight more slowly, they do not need to lose any

Making sure she's healthy is absolutely right, but I'd be very wary of letting any 5 year old get the idea, however subliminally, that her body is at fault or wrong or preventing her from succeeding in some way. Especially as it sounds though she's a very active, athletic child who otherwise enjoys sport, and wouldn't get this sort of feedback from a football or dance coach.

There are lots of children who need to lose weight. I’m not talking necessarily about op’s child here as she sounds active but if she is fat, then she needs help to lose weight.
There should be no fear around telling even 5 yr olds that to be healthy, they need to be active and eat mainly healthy food.
Of course you don’t say anything that shames them or embarrasses them and you don’t need to allude to weight, just things like 1 biscuit is enough because they’re quite high in sugar so we shouldn’t eat too many but fruit is ok if you’re still a bit hungry.

There are no children under 12 who need to lose weight, except in extreme conditions under strict medical supervision, and that would not be because they are fat.

There are children who are overweight who need support and supervision to gain weight more slowly. Never to lose weight

Fruit has as much sugar as biscuits.

Wouldn't be 100% sure she wouldn't hear similar from a dance coach - even at this age I've heard stories. Which is why I was so pleased to find my daughter's dance school.

@1diamondearing you are talking such rubbish I really can't even respond reasonably. There are plenty of fat children who need to lose weight. We have a bloody epidemic of childhood obesity and it's not because they've been eating too many strawberries.

There is fun gymnastics whi h is great for children who want fun, part of taking it seriously is losing weight

I dont agree with children losing weight ignoring that fact that it is part of serious gymnastics os ignorance

Same as I dont agree with children wearing make-up for dancing but that is part of the aspect of some dancing, sure we ignore it doesn't make it go away

@1diamondearing the nhs has advice on helping children to get to a healthy weight. Done children are obese and need to lose weight.
Please tell me that you know there’s a difference between having an apple or a digestive biscuit. If not, then perhaps you need to learn a bit more about nutrition.

Anybody attempting to make a child lose weight would get a safeguarding referral, it is totally inappropriate - I know plenty about nutrition thank you,- I teach it. I am just shocked at a poster suggesting fruit as an alternative to biscuits because biscuits contain sugar.

I think what you mean is some children should build up more muscle and lower their body percentage of fat - this would NOT lead to weight loss - children need to be gaining weight as they grow.

Yes, you're right: dance isn't a great example - I was thinking more of the fun 'tap and modern' dance school I went to, rather than ballet, which is probably even more body conscious than gymnastics.

OP, I bet the local junior rugby team would love to have her, if she's strong with great balance!

Agreed!

Regardless of whether she's overweight, if she's stocky she's not the right body type for gymnastics anyway, and at some point she'll fall behind. What about martial arts instead?

Consider cheerleading. Seriously Look around your for a good club that's local to you.

She can do all the tumbling she wants, plus stunt and dance as part of a team. Girls of all shapes and sizes do cheer and her gymnastics background will be a huge plus if she's already a confident tumbler and bendy.

My daughter and her friends love love love their cheerleading and live for competition weekends.