Overweight child - has anyone actually succeeded in getting child to lose weight? (Or stop gaining)

[User5274959]

Dd is 9 yrs 10 months
152cm tall
52kg which on the nhs kids bmi calculator puts her at the 95th centile which is well in to the overweight category.

Has anyone successfully improved a similar situation?

She is one of 3 dc and the others are not overweight. She has asd and I believe eats partly as a sensory thing and just doesn't have an off switch.

Meals are healthy and not big portions.

Snacks can be an issue.

Not naturally active, does one martial arts class a week.

School is not walkable but I'm going to start parking further away.

So far have been trying to make subtle changes without making a thing of it but don't feel like we're getting anywhere.

Her waist measurement is also disproportionately large.

Could you remove snacks from the house to remove the temptation? Or just have healthy snacks like fruit?

If meals are healthy and portion size is appropriate, then snacks is what needs to be tackled. You don't say what snacks or how many, but I would start with possibly reducing the number of snacks and definitely changing what they are to healthier options.

Left-field question, but what is she drinking. DD used to drink a lot of milk (really a lot) and was definitely overweight. We watered it down - she drank the same volume, but now only half of it was milk. I'd aimed to have her weight plateau, but it did actually drop, and she's been a healthy weight ever since.

Yes I think I have to, it's hard as the others have packed lunches, so then I hide some snacks but it never works.

Or recently we changed to pretty much just having popcorn, rice cakes and fruit available.

But then she'll make herself bread stuff or help herself to cereal.

Feeling a bit despairing about it but know I just have to do all I can.

I will keep trying these things I just wondered if anyone has actually succeeded in making a change?

At the moment on about 4 days a week I collect her and then carry on working from home until 5 and she tends to just graze.", even if it's healthy stuff.

Maybe I need to book her into after school club as they do some running about but they also have crisps 🙄

I was your DD and would have appreciated the help so well done trying!

Cut out the unhealthy snacks, give her smaller portions at dinner, make the whole family more active together, parking away from school a good idea. You might have to be really present and active in the distractions for a while until she’s used to eating less.

Drinking seems ok - mostly water, occasionally I buy squash

I was my dd too 😞
My mum tried to tackle it but it didn't work, I snuck food and ate in secret

Sympathies, my DB is dealing with a very similar sounding issue, DD is one of three, other two are fine, DD is twice their size, and obsessed with eating. I also feel is a sensory issue, related to something yet undiagnosed. It's calories in, calories out, but on the ground that's not an easy equation to make when they're so determined not to move, and to eat literally everything in the cupboards. I don't have the answer, but I do know that DB and DSIL are commited, well informed and loving parents and haven't managed to crack the code, so you're not alone. Getting a few KM of walking to and from school every day plus not having the snacks in the house might help, but she will literally eat a whole loaf of bread slice by slice in ten very surreptitious trips into the kitchen, or do a whole box of cereal in at 6am by getting up early if not watched like a hawk. Very tricky, hopefully someone will be along with more help.

She needs to move more and eat less.

move all snacks, bread and cereal out of the way and make her a snack to eat after school. No more helping yourself to food. Can she do another class?

You hold full control over what she eats so change the way you shop as a starting point. Have more filling foods so that she doesn’t feel hungry and turn to bread and cereal.

The weather is also changing so get everyone out more, make going for walks interesting so they don’t think urghhhh.

You need to change your habits op.

Children model what they see. She is young, growing and hungry. Get her out and about more, moving more. She will be fine.

This misses the point that OP has other children without the same compulsion to eat, so it's not as easy as, everyone out for a brisk walk and an apple, chop chop. You do not have full control of what a child eats, it's one of the first things they actually can control as toddlers.

Unless you've got a child with disordered eating, it doesn't really make sense. If it was that easy OP would have it sorted now, she doesn't sound daft.

The sensory thing makes it hard. Will she eat those thin rice cakes or breadsticks that have a bit of a crunch? Will she chew some gum?
I've had to spend years trying to make sure my teen dd doesn't overeat due to sensory needs. She does finally go on little walks now though, for a while she wasn't in school or leaving the house.

More sports too! My 9 year old eats like an adult but does swimming, 2 dance classes, net ball and another sports class every week.
She is fairly slim.
you need to establish good habits now, teenage girls are more likely to drop sports than to start a new one.

Being sedentary leads to more problems than just becoming overweight. I'd work on that bit instead, it will also distract her from grazing.

Just dance, swingball, anything that gets her moving a bit. Are her siblings younger or older?

Does she like dogs, can you borrow one a couple of days a week to get her out walking.

Do they have no sports clubs at school? At my DC’s school they can play lots of sports for an hour after school.
She is clearly bored when she comes home and so she is snacking. A very bad habit.

As she has ASD do you know if school are meeting her needs? The more she struggles at school, the more she will want to snack and hide away for down time to decompress.

This. Make it clear she is not allowed to help herself to anything a d all food is given by you from now on.
Enrol her in junior parkrun. It’s free.
Exercise every day, no junk food in the house, no squash and no sedentary activities. She is young enough this can be turned around.

My daughter (now in her 20s) was an overweight child despite my best efforts. She has recently told me that she used to steal food -- sneak it from her brother's Christmas boxes, the cupboard, anything left in the car for journeys etc. She says it was sensory seeking and obsessive comfort eating, and ultimately she needed to tackle it herself as an adult.

You should try everything you can to keep her healthy, that goes without saying. But some of it might not be about the food itself.

At what age is it ok to have a frank conversation with them about the consequences of their actions and actually use the F word not just talk about making healthy choices?

My DD is 10 and a pretty active child but is always complaining that she’s hungry, even when I know she’s not. She’s just bored or wants a snack. I know this because I am and always have been the same. I deny her a lot and am just about keeping her in the healthy range but it’s a battle.

I want her to feel good about herself but I also want to say “look, if you eat as much as you would like to eat, you’re going to get fat and you will hate that”. I was a chubby teen and I wish my mum and been more blunt with me before I got chubby but then would I have listened? I don’t know. I just know it’s deemed the worst thing you can do to a girl is to mention their weight.

How about raw vegetables for snacks?. Having a plate of raw carrots, raw cucumber and pepper sticks will not add too many calories but does add sensory stimulation.

Could you get her on board with healthy eating and lifestyle?
Teach her how having too much bread and cereal is not healthy and that it's ok to feel a bit hungry before meals because that's why we eat meals.
Ask her to come up with healthy snack ideas and say that seeing as it's only 1.5 hrs for dinner, no other snack is needed.
Get active as a family. Do a couple of activities over the weekend like swimming, walking, cycling. Go to the park and take balls, frisbees, tennis rackets.
Make walks more interesting by spotting things, look out for birds and rustling creatures.

With the asd, would a printed schedule of times for meals and snacks help?

My middle child is overweight, his sister is a bit underweight and fussy with food so tricky tightrope of having calorific food available to tempt youngest and no easy access to snacks for overweight one. Exercise is really important, swimming no one eats in a pool! Cycling being outdoors, trying to encourage him to do yoga with me for posture and core strength. It’s hard though.

If it's a sensory thing would just having something to chew on rather than eat help? I thin you can get chewable necklaces for example, that might help.
I would also start giving the other kids healthy pack lunches without the junk everyday so you don't need it in the house.