Overweight 5 year old

[TheTwirlyPoos]

DS had his weigh in at school and it has flagged him as overweight. The centile gap between his height and his weight have always been wider than they should be, even at birth. He is in aged 5 clothes happily.

However his 5-6 school shirts are tight round the neck and his face looks fuller than I think it should. I'm panicking because the number of playdates and parties etc don't help with massive amounts of crap.

He eats a lot. I keep home food as healthy as possible. I make his own fish fingers. Potato wedges are almost always weet potato. Dinner always has three veg minimum. Weekday breakfast is either boiled eggs, soldiers (one solve) and a banana or porridge and berries. He has shop bought bread but I've got a bread maker and will use that from next week. He usually walks to and from school (about 1.5 miles round trip), swims for two hours a week, scoots to church and back once a week and uses the trampoline in the garden (however he won't go on without me which makes it sonewhat tricky to do long stints).

He eats healthily most of the time but I think portion size is a problem. Can anyone suggest anything to help, any guide they've found reliable?

I'm really starting to panic.

His diet sounds healthy and he's quite active. I wouldn't worry too much about a centile gap unless it's really off the scale different. He's wearing appropriately sized clothing, most young kids are chubby faced. Kindly, it sounds like you're worrying unnecessarily.

Thanks. I can't remember how m big the gap is but it was pretty sizeable. Injist don't want to be that parent that can't see it if you see what I mean.

Can you see his ribs? At that age, they should be clearly visible.

You can but not clearly enough I don't think

How big are his portion sizes?

My Ds is almost 4, he’s a terrible eater so has tiny portions and is the opposite so underweight. Ie he likes pancakes so I gave him 1 pancake with Nutella this morning, and he only ate 1/2. That’s on things he likes, on something he doesn’t it’s much less.
So its really not what type of food imo, but the amount.

His portions are big which is what we need to manage, things like porridge are close to what I'd have. But he's always hungry. He eats loads of veg etc and his nutrition is brilliant it's just too much and then the number of bloody playdates and parties.

He's active, he and his sister are currently tearing round the house playing it

Smaller portions then. I don’t think any small child should regularly be eating same size portion as an adult.

My Ds is also super active. Literally doesn’t sit still from waking until bed. A portion of porridge for him I would give about 1/2 a child size bowl. He then eats maybe 1/2 that ( which isn’t enough). But I would serve dh and I about 4 times the amount, not the same

https://healthforunder5s.co.uk/sections/toddler/whats-a-healthy-portion-for-your-little-one/

Maybe this nhs guide will help with approximate portions?

I've had it first hand from nurses, doctors, teachers and health visitors that these weigh ins for reception kids are terrible. BMI is not the right way to measure the health of a 4 year old child.

My son came out as 1 point from being "very overweight". He has weighed 2.5 stones since he was 3, you can clearly see every rib, his knees are bigger than his thighs, there isn't an ounce of fat to be had on him. Hes always been "dense", and heavier than some of his peers but to look at him you wouldn't know it. He has been on the 97th centile for weight since he was born, it's just how he's built. He's very average height for his age too. Every single girl in his class is taller than him (& taller most of the boys), girls seem to be much taller at their age.

Interestingly, in 18 kids in his class, 8 girls and 10 boys, 8 boys came in as overweight. Only one of the girls did, and she is an extremely overweight child.

I'm not worried in the slightest because he gets at least 5 hours of physical activity per week, eats loads and loads of fruit and veg and is never ill. Also, my sister who's a nurse says that these checks are much more for weeding out malnourished kids than to identify a bit of puppy fat in well nourished and well cared for children.

I had an overweight 3 year old, and in our case, she drank only milk (and a lot, more than a litre a day), which was giving her a lot of calories. What's your son drinking? We watered down her milk, and she actually lost weight (not the aim) and has been a healthy weight since.

It's a shot in the dark, but worth checking what he's drinking.

They don't have squash so it is water or (semi skimmed) milk. He doesn't drink masses but I'll keep an eye on it.

I'm stressed about it because he is so food orientated. He constantly nags for it if we are at a party or something. At home they don't walk around eating, he can have a mid morning and mid afternoon snack but it's fruit and possibly a bit of peanut butter. He also eats food so fast. We went to the pub for mother's day yesterday and he had the entire kids meal (which was a big plate of food) before any of us had finished.

He's being investigated for autism, and I'm certain he has ADHD. He does not sit still.

Does sound like portion size is a problem
but at that age he could be due a growth spurt too ,
You might find that he suddenly shoots up and slims down .

@tempnameforadvice thanks. I think that's one thing that's worrying me, the fact that his weight crntile has not changed since he was born. He was ebf til six months then weaned on entirely homemade, well balanced food. I even made my own sugar free jam.

I'm trying not to obsess but it's hard. He had a playdate on Friday, we went out yesterday (very unusual for us, I'm aware we could have not but that seems cart before horse) and he has a party today. I stop him at mealtimes, he doesn't keep getting more and more. Oh this is stressful.

Why don't you monitor exactly what he eats for a few days. Actually weigh what he has and look at the calories. It might highlight some areas where he is getting too much.

My boys were a bit overweight as toddlers and I just gently watched what they ate and they slowly grew into their bodies. They never knew they were dieting.

I didnt do snacks much with my kids but my boys always ate heartedly at mealtimes. They are now very slim adults with no food hangups.

Thanks, this is exactly what I want to do. I've raised it with school because the deputy head (who is very overweight) was praising how well he eats and how he goes up for extra bread etc but is teacher said she doesn't see this. She was surprised he'd registered as overweight.

I try to avoid snacks but they both get so ratty on low blood sugar so I'd rather give them a banana than not.

Thanks, this is exactly what I want to do. I've raised it with school because the deputy head (who is very overweight) was praising how well he eats and how he goes up for extra bread etc but is teacher said she doesn't see this. She was surprised he'd registered as overweight.

I try to avoid snacks but they both get so ratty on low blood sugar so I'd rather give them a banana than not.

@tempnameforadvice
I've had it first hand from nurses, doctors, teachers and health visitors that these weigh ins for reception kids are terrible. BMI is not the right way to measure the health of a 4 year old child

I disagree. As long as it's used sensibly it can provide a useful way to highlight if there may be a problem. Look at the OPs case. The school BMI check has highlighted a potential issue which has motivated the OP to have a think about her lads weight and diet and she's acknowledged that her son is a little overwieght. The OP comes across as a sensible loving Mum who cares about healthy eating so if she benefits from a reminder of her son's BMI then what's the harm in that.
The blanket dismissal of BMI as a useless tool in healthy eating is damaging.

If he's always hungry and suffering from constant blood sugar drops it sounds like his diet is very carb/sugar heavy. Kids need carbs, but not as the primary source of food. A lot of shop bread is highly processed and empty calories. Remember fruit is sugar still, even though it contains excellent vitamins. I would echo what someone else said, write down what he's eating for a few days, possibly in a weekend when you can quantify properly. Then you can really see what is going on.

Thanks, that's a good plan.

@WhizzWoman you may disagree and yes, in this case it's been useful and OP sounds like she has it in hand and knows where to start, but a blanket "your kid is fat" when some of them are absolutely nowhere near that is damaging. Health obsessed parents could start to limit their kids food intake when in fact they've got a very healthy child. I've got a family full of medical professionals and all agree that the blanket use of BMI in very young children is not useful. Yes - it can be in some cases, but absolutely no all or even most.

Bit out there but I wonder if there's any tactics you could do to slow down his meal eating? Before I got to the point in the thread where you said he ate fast, I thought to myself I bet he eats his meals really fast! This is a problem for a lot of overweight people I think. Eating really quickly means your body doesn't have time yet to realise it's full. I wonder if there's any strategies you could try to slow him down a bit without him realising? E.g. maybe serve some meals as separate courses with a small wait in between? Does he eat slower or faster with cutlery? My 5yo often eats faster with her hands so possibly try to encourage good use of cutlery? Talk to him a lot during meals so he pauses to answer, like asking him lots of questions?

With portion sizes, does it make any difference how much you put on his plate? I find with my two unless they're reeeeally hungry they rarely want to eat more of a meal than I put on their plate. So if I plate up big they'll aim to eat that (obviously they often don't) and if I plate up a tiny portion they will usually just eat that and then want a pudding (often fruit or yoghurt not necessarily dessert as such) and not more dinner. Not sure if that applies to your DC though, but if it does you could plate up smaller portions.

My 2 yo is bordering on overweight tbh and he's a 'good eater' in that he eats a pretty healthy diet but he likewise has big portion sizes. He's short and often eats larger portions than my 5yo so I am mindful of all this in our futures too. He likewise eats really fast.

Thanks that's a good idea. I try and give them a 'starter' - usually veg sticks or peas or something - to get them sat and calm before I serve dinner.

Doesn't matter how much I put on the plate, he usually asks for seconds!

I think you've been given lots of good advice on the food front but I would also be looking at his activity levels. At his age he should be getting at least 3 hours of physical activity a day. You've said you wonder if he has adhd because he doesn't sit still, this is good as at 5 years old I wouldn't expect him to sit still for long. I would work on just trying to get him to slow down his eating, maybe engage him in conversation during meal times or ask him questions about the food he's eating sk he stops to look at it and takes his time more, alongside encouraging plenty of physical activity through play, games and sports. I wouldn't worry too much because if he's active and not overeating then he will likely grow into himself, the concern would be if he's not active enough and overheats because then he's just going to get heavier as he gets older.

@tempnameforadvice
....but a blanket "your kid is fat" when some of them are absolutely nowhere near that is damaging

That isn't remotely what the letters would say though. People who take it as saying that are just being ridiculously defensive. The letters are carefully worded. They are factual and informative and are a tool to help parents.