Overweight 5 year old

[TheTwirlyPoos]

DS had his weigh in at school and it has flagged him as overweight. The centile gap between his height and his weight have always been wider than they should be, even at birth. He is in aged 5 clothes happily.

However his 5-6 school shirts are tight round the neck and his face looks fuller than I think it should. I'm panicking because the number of playdates and parties etc don't help with massive amounts of crap.

He eats a lot. I keep home food as healthy as possible. I make his own fish fingers. Potato wedges are almost always weet potato. Dinner always has three veg minimum. Weekday breakfast is either boiled eggs, soldiers (one solve) and a banana or porridge and berries. He has shop bought bread but I've got a bread maker and will use that from next week. He usually walks to and from school (about 1.5 miles round trip), swims for two hours a week, scoots to church and back once a week and uses the trampoline in the garden (however he won't go on without me which makes it sonewhat tricky to do long stints).

He eats healthily most of the time but I think portion size is a problem. Can anyone suggest anything to help, any guide they've found reliable?

I'm really starting to panic.

@WhizzWoman they are factually worded, yes. But even the most balanced and practical parents will see "very overweight" and wince. If you received a letter about your weight calling you very overweight you'd immediately translate it to fat.

Given the stats on how much obesity there now is in primary aged children, I think considering it unacceptable to tell parents that their child is over weigh is pretty irresponsible.

OP, your plans sound really sensible and think calmly applying them is your way forward.

My DD had a centile gap at that age but was clinically (and very visible) underweight. We panicked a bit but by the time we saw the pediatrician she had filled out a bit because the BMI test had just been taken at a time when she had just gone up by quite a few inches.

I'd base your strategy on whether, looking back, he's always been larger or if this is recent. If it's recent it could just be a precursor to growing taller.

Please look at portion sizes - you give them a banana as a snack - for a 5 year old that is 2 portions of fruit. That on top of the 3 veg at dinner , fruit at breakfast could add up to over 8 portions a day on just fruit and veg.

I have a child who would constantly eat if I let her, so I feel the pain. We have playdates with good friends who understand this too and they stop offering and say no to her having more. Parties we tell her before hand - you can have one packet of sweets there the rest we will save. Cake depends on if eating there I will let her, if not it's next day instead of something else.

Oddly enough the 3 things that worked: always having a small dessert after evening meal so she knew she was going to get a sweet treat even if just fruit and natural yog.
Not offering snacks - wait until they asked. At the beginning she always did, but it dwindled off naturally during mornings and some afternoons. I also give her more yes to her choice of the snack (just control the amount), giving her some more control.
We meal plan and she is allowed to pick one dinner a week.

So what would you suggest? Do you think the government should ignore it?
Parents are allowed to opt out if they want.

It's portion size not what he eats. Having sweets or cakes at play dates and parties will be hardly having an effect at all. Even if he has lots of play dates and parties they don't eat enough at them to make a difference.
Obviously it is better for him to have a healthy diet but even if all his calories were made up of sugar he would only put on weight if he ate to much of it. Of course if that was the case he would probably be hungry all the time and more likely to eat more but you get my point.

I'm expecting the same any time now. Mine is recently 5, and off the chart for both height and weight. He's 125cm and 29kg so over the 99.6th centile for both but proportionately so, so far as I can tell! He recently had a medical appointment and they did comment that he has an "athletic" build - you can see ribs clearly but he's also muscular (God knows where he gets that from!)

He's autistic and although his diet is quite restricted and far from where I'd like it to be, he does eat relatively healthily in the grand scheme of things - it's not nuggets and alphabites every night! He does have a big appetite, and food is also a really sensory regulating experience for him so it's a fine balance sometimes.

Some things that have worked for us are...

Not distinguishing between "dinner and pudding" - he is served everything in one go, so will have his main meal alongside fruit/yoghurt. Growing up for us, it was very much no pudding unless you eat all your dinner and this was something we were keen to avoid repeating.

If he asks for more, we delay it a bit. "Yes, you can have some more X in a minute when mummy has finished her dinner". 9 times out of 10, after 30 seconds he's forgotten that he wants more.

He also has to be doing something (suspected ADHD as well), so he's also not expected to sit and wait for us to finish. He will ask to be excused and off he goes whilst the rest of us finish. Stops him sitting and mindlessly eating what he would have naturally left, just because he needs to be "doing".

That said, some days he is like a bottomless pit! He will always have a snack when he comes home from school (he really struggles to regulate himself if he's hungry) and if I get the sense that he's on a bottomless pit day, I'll just give him his dinner there and then at 3.30 so he's eating a decent meal and can have some toast or cereal if needed before bed. Other days he'll eat hardly anything and we always give him autonomy over that. If he's hungry later, he will ask for something (rarely does!).

More veg on the plate and less carbs. Veg is filling.

I just wanted to come back to this thread and thank everyone for their helpful suggestions. I'm feeling much more in control of the situation. I watched as he was getting out the bath tonight and I can easily see his ribs so whilst he may be overweight it isn't by much, so that feels less scary.

I limited dinner to one sausage (usually he'd have one and a half or two on rare occasions) he asked for more but I told him to finish up all his veg first and then he forgot about it. I kept to half a banana as a snack. I'd usually give him some cubes of cheese in his lunch (he has packed lunch once a week) but I've ommitted them.

Hoping by keeping it this low level I can do it without him realising and essentially let his height catch up with his weight.

Also bought them a new see saw for the garden.

Bananas are exceedingly calorie dense. I would be substituting other fruits or veggies.

That's good you've made a start. I don't think the fact you can see ribs is that relevant if he carries weight elsewhere.

As I mentioned in my earlier post two of my kids were too chubby as toddlers. They didn't have snacks but they ate really well,at mealtimes and I wasn't on top of it. I just made some small changes, just as you have done, and very slowly they grew in height and lost their extra weight. You r son is only five so you can take your time with this. I wasn't weighing my kids but I think they didn't lose weight but that as they grew in height they grew into their weight.

I'd be going heavier on the protein - hard boiled eggs, homemade lentil soups and yoghurt or cottage cheese.

From what you've said it sounds as if he has quite large portions eg almost as much porridge as you eat with berries and a boiled egg and soldiers for breakfast. That's a big breakfast for anyone. Then you say he eats quickly. Then he asks for seconds. I'd offer carrot and cucumber sticks as a snack. I wouldn't give him empty calories like crisps or cakes. Just don't buy them. I'd up his protein like chicken, fish or meat and cut his carbs, 1 less spoon of mashed potatoes, pasta, rice or couscous. Fill him up with an extra spoon of vegetables. If he asked for seconds I'd tell him he's had enough or just offer more vegetables. I'd also be telling school not to give him extra bread. It sounds like he goes to a lot of play dates and parties. Does he get given a lot of crisps and crap at these? This could be where he's getting all the extra calories. I'd try to add in an extra hours swim. At 5 they are not really swimming up and down much so not burning as many calories as if they were. You could take him to Junior Parkrun. It's a 2 km run. My grandson has done it from 4 or 5 and now he's 8 he does the adult Park Run of 5 km with his Mum.

If he's being investigated for autism there must be some other signs but autistic children often have massive issues with food and eating so you can think you're lucky in that area. Just keep offering different foods. That's when they will try and stop eating if they're not hungry x

It’s probably harsh but I’d be asking at play dates for no sugar or processed foods. And I’d miss some of the parties. As an adult if you go to the pub every weekend it’s not a great lifestyle choice so I would do less of it and I’d apply the same to kids. At the very least I’d be full on educating him about food and health and how bodies work with regards to foods and be encouraging a healthier lifestyle getting back to basics cooking together etc. Maybe start growing some veg and activities like that.

No he doesn't have oroodige and egg - it's either or!

Thanks again, we will keep. Going as we are for now, I'm not going to start putting him in things like three hours swimming a week because he will just be absolutely shattered.

He k ows a lot about nutrition. He's very high functioning. He can tell you what contains fibre, why we need that, protein etc etc

He may just grow out of it. Mine were huge babies and very solid pre-schoolers but at 12 and 14 are very lean beanpoles and I worry that they’re too thin sometimes.

Check your portion sizes (I wonder if you are overfilling him in the course of trying to tick other nutritional boxes?) and make sure he’s doing lots of exercise but otherwise don’t let it become A Thing.

You've had some good advice here, keeping an eye on portion size etc. I'd try and distract him after dinner so he doesn't ask for seconds, try vegetables (like carrot and cucumber sticks) for snacks (with a bit of protein like a bit of cheese or some boiled egg if he's getting hungry again too soon) rather than bananas. And he should be active for at least 3 hours, perhaps have a family walk every evening and (if you have somewhere safe to let him run like park or a footpath that's separated from the road) encourage him to run back and forth (racing with you/a sibling/racing himself with a timer)

My son (6) loves fitness games on the switch, like ringfit adventure and fitness boxing (because he watches his dad does them) so he does them on weekend mornings and gets some good exercise that way in a way that's very fun. Could that be an option if you have a switch?

if he fits in age 5 clothes at 5 and is happy, healthy and not lacking any nutrients then please leave him alone.

Are you and your Dh tall OP? Sometimes kids with tall parents seem to need the extra bit before they shoot up.

DD is pretty active and hovers around the edge of healthy and overweight. But she’s solid looking rather than clearly overweight. I’m watching her snacking instead of meals. I’d rather she eats well at mealtimes and reduce all the other ad hoc snacking. Lots of protein helps.

Don’t panic, but be mindful of portion size. I had the same with one of mine at that age. I reduced his portion size with no issue. He loved his food and would eat everything he was given, but didn’t miss it if it wasn’t on his plate. Then just kept him active, he’s a healthy weight now and does lots of sport.

I don't think you need to worry much. He sounds very active and none of the food you describe sounds terrible - I don't believe any child will suffer from eating a full banana or bowl of porridge, or even a second sausage. Just keep him moving and make sure other people aren't giving him too many treats at playdates etc.

I think exercise is key here. A 5 year old( or any child for that matter) should be physically active for several hours a day. They spend the majority of their school day sitting, so need to run around and burn off energy.

It sounds like you are being really sensible and thoughtful about this, OP.

One thing I would add is to make sure he is getting enough to drink. It is easy to confuse thirst with hunger, and I know from own experience that if I have a craving for fruit or sweet things it is often because I am thirsty.

I don’t mean he needs to be constantly sipping from a bottle, but make sure snacks and meals are accompanied by plenty of water.