Overweight 5 year old

[TheTwirlyPoos]

DS had his weigh in at school and it has flagged him as overweight. The centile gap between his height and his weight have always been wider than they should be, even at birth. He is in aged 5 clothes happily.

However his 5-6 school shirts are tight round the neck and his face looks fuller than I think it should. I'm panicking because the number of playdates and parties etc don't help with massive amounts of crap.

He eats a lot. I keep home food as healthy as possible. I make his own fish fingers. Potato wedges are almost always weet potato. Dinner always has three veg minimum. Weekday breakfast is either boiled eggs, soldiers (one solve) and a banana or porridge and berries. He has shop bought bread but I've got a bread maker and will use that from next week. He usually walks to and from school (about 1.5 miles round trip), swims for two hours a week, scoots to church and back once a week and uses the trampoline in the garden (however he won't go on without me which makes it sonewhat tricky to do long stints).

He eats healthily most of the time but I think portion size is a problem. Can anyone suggest anything to help, any guide they've found reliable?

I'm really starting to panic.

Hi OP, good to see you're already finding ways to make small changes, and please don't panic.

Two thoughts from me: how often are you weighing and measuring him and plotting it in his red book? Centile gaps are an important indicator of weight, but if he's eating lots suddenly, he might be about to have a growth spurt. I wouldn't use it as an excuse, but do keep plotting them E.g. four times per year, so you know where he is.

Secondly, I agree with pp about asking for no crap, or just one treat on play dates. I know from my own unsuccessful adult dieting that the calories in biscuits, sweets and chocolate are quite horrifying. It's very hard, but we're having to do this with my three year old too.

This is a long standing issue, not a growth spurt or "going to be tall" or "BMI is useless for kids".

From what you've said the issue is a) portion size (half what adults get is right for this age, roughly) b) expectations (DH and I were brought up to finish our plates, we don't ever say that to our DCs and they are happy to eat what they need, though my DM tries, DD looks at her like she's mad) c) possibly ADHD - there does tend to be an obsession with sweet things as it gives a dopamine hit.

Have a word with school too, the deputy head sounds like he was over fed and thinks it's the right thing to do for children too! I bet he and the kitchen staff were all brought up to finish their plates.

Hi OP,

If your son is neuro divergent, there is a strong chance he may be eating for other things than hunger. I'm not an expert so hopefully someone with more knowledge than me will be able to help.

I can hear the worry in your words. Try not to stress, you are doing a good job of feeding healthy and nutritious food to your children. i believe building good habits is key. Fruit and Veg adds volume to meals without the calories so you can easily give the same size meals, eg grate an apple into porridge. Remove seconds and get out of the habit of extras. Distract with something fun if he keeps asking for food.

And finally, have a look and see if your local authority have any support available.

Have you tried chewable necklaces? My son is the same and is orally sensory seeking so the chewy necklaces help, along with (when much older) gum.

ND can cause us not to recognise or properly receive our cues, so putting in place other things to keep mouth busy can help.

The other thing I’ve found helpful is vegetables first and then the other food (unless combined and then dish is veg heavy). I find if ds fills up on veg, he eats a child sized portion after, or if I limit the ingredients to have child sized portion of meat/fish/carb then bulk with veg, it keeps things healthier. Obviously depends if your son has any sensory issues around disliking food and wouldn’t work for all, but is part of the way we manage it.

Also if you’re not on the ADHD pathway, I’d suggest going down it. It’s a long process and better started early where possible.

Advice on play dates and parties:

They are drop off now and I would t feed another child "crap". If families come over to our house, we have fruit and veg rather than chocolate & co and if they are your friends you can just ask if that can be swapped.
At parties, can you just load his plate and not reload.

His diet sounds great, sounds like he's found a lot of exercise. Without meaning to sound negative but could this be inherited? At the same time, he's 5, they're still very young and he might just have a growth spurt and it's gone x

i ultimately agree with this. Look at the wider environment- are yourself or others in your family overweight? How much does he play - kids that age need to be active 3 hours a day. Are you an active family? It’s fine to be watch that you are serving him correct but saying no to seconds of health food is making an issue of it. The biggest predictor of kids health and weight is their family’s health so family changes only.

the problem with bmi is that the children are growing . It’s an imperfect tool - he might be just about to have a growth spurt.

He has suspected ADHD and he literally doesn't sit still. Even watching TV he's doing star jumps!

We definitely don't push finishing plates and pudding is 9 times out of 10 fruit so they get that as long as they've tried the main (his younger sister is the opposite of him which makes life a bit trickier!)

DH is stocky, was a rugby player, is very fit but leans towards overweight, they definitely have the same build.

School do appear to be pushing finishing plates, though, and if he has 5 meals a week at school that message will be going in.

How about asking him to drink a glass of water 10 minutes before the meal? It has to be plain water without flavours. You also need to make it fun not a chore for the habit to stick

I'm glad someone said it, Mumsnet isn't the best place to post this because of the competitive undereating as they call it on these threads. The child's diet sounds healthy, I know families where children that age are overweight and they eat mounds of junk food like chocolate and sweets. It's actually quite hard for a kid to get fat.
Having a chubby face is a sign of good health for a child that age (within reason obviously).
I highly doubt ops child is actually overweight and I hope she doesn't listen to some of the more extreme advice on here

To be honest, though, it’s not uncommon for those with ADHD to be overweight and need to chew stuff all the time. If OP is going the workshops for the diagnostic process then she’ll be advised to do some of these things including chewable necklaces.

My boy grew out before her grew up ifswim .. he is now a lean 14 year old

I completely get it, I think my son (age 6) might have ADHD and he grinds his teeth down so they're very small.
But imo if the child fits in size 5 clothes at 5 and eats the healthy food op describes without junk food I doubt he is big enough to warrant a diet. Nutrition is important and it would really suck for a child to have their food restricted just because of one school check which have been known to be inaccurate.

It sounds like your already doing the right things.

I have the opposite they are telling me my DS is underweight for his height! He has 2 breakfasts each morning including protein. He eats more then I do in a day. The problem is its done on a graph basis and many children don't follow graphs!

So take it with a pinch of salt your doing right by him.

Yes, good point, I definitely wouldn’t recommend a diet either, but I would suggest OP looks into the way ND can affect eating and oral sensory seeking and see if her ds fits that, then (if he does) puts those things into place or have them in her remit for if an issue starts to develop.

My son was labelled overweight at his weigh in at school, there wasn't an ounce of spare flesh on the boy.

He's just dense, broad shouldered, thick thighs, rugby player physiche

How you getting on op?

I received the same letter, suspected ASD, he also eats same diet as your son and talks of healthy food (been learning in school)

Hi! We are following the reduced portions which he hasn't really noticed. We have had a diagnosis of ASD. He is definitely worse in social situations, he focuses on food and nags and nags and nags for it. His face still looks full to me but his body really doesn't seem to be overweight to my eyes.

Don't start limiting intake of healthy foods without medical advice. BMI is quite flawed, some people always score highly despite being healthy.

Address the type of food and ensure plenty of exercise.

Review with PROPER medical advice.

This is why the weigh in is flawed - it creates panic.

It might be worth a follow up with you GP

My daughter is bordering on overweight but is reviewed regularly by her paediatricians and a dietician due to food allergies and reflux. She is 1st-2nd percentile for height and 25th-50th for weight. She is often on the 25th which is ok but when she goes to 35th-50th she's then close to 90th percentile for BMI and approaching overweight. She's 3y9m and is only just out growing her 18-24 month clothes as she outgrows them based on her height! She's just had her ready for school review and the HV was pleased with her weight too considering her limitations and issues with foods

She is a poor eater and on a very restricted diet due to multiple food allergies and foods she can't have due to reflux and foods she can't have to protect her teeth from the reflux. She can take 3 days to eat an apple, on a bad day only has 1 meal and no snacks! All of her foods are cooked from scratch due to her food allergies nearly everything in a packets are not an option - even sausages!

I would treat the flag as an option to pause, reflect and monitor. We have a lot of measurements for my daughter and there is a very clear pattern over 18 months. Where she is close to the 50th percentile then she barely gains any weight for 6 months and moves back towards the 25th percentile then will follow that line for 6 months then over 6 months she moves closer to the 50th again. The portion size and seconds need keeping an eye on and I would also monitor how his weight and height vary over a 6-12 month period. My daughter is always quite sturdy looking and she definitely fills out prior to growing up. I would be more worried about her weight if I knew she was always 35+th percentile for weight.

My DD was flagged as overweight when she was younger - after initial panic I did absolutely nothing: We are an active family, I cook from scratch everyday - none of us are overweight. I just looked at the the wider food/activity environment and none of it made sense with her ending up obese. Every year she gets thinner and was recently weighed as part of a doctors appointment and had an average Bmi.

it’s an imperfect tool. You need to look at the types of food and the activity but don’t make an issue of it.

I’m very suspicious now of kids being told they are overweight. They are growing and it’s difficult to use one measure to say that they are overweight.