CubeMorphine

[bornintheuk2]

I've lost her again. Can anyone help

Bump. I'd like to know how her daughter is too.

She has a thread in OTBT but hasn't updated for a bit.

I’m here.

It’s been a busy week as I was back at work and when I got home, DH was off to work and I was emailing schools and doctors and all sorts as well as sorting things for my other kids.

Cubette is slowly improving. She’s still having this weird thing with soaring heart rate and plummeting oxygen though- I have asked the GP to contact the/a hospital about giving her a very thorough evaluation. But she’s got a better appetite and is less sleepy than she was last week, which is definitely positive! She is only just realising how ill she actually was.

I think I need to find some space and time to cry and rant about it all irl to be honest. I was telling a friend earlier about it all and she said “oh my god, I expect you felt like she was going to die at some points” and it felt like my chest was tight and my throat was closing up a bit. I haven’t really had a chance to let that all out and I still feel so wound up and extremely worried about the safety of my kids because I do not think they would be safe in our local hospital if they had to go there.

Glad to hear she is improving if slowly @CubeMorphine

Let me tell you, I've had my own severe troubles with my DD this year and...yeah, the moments where it all comes out are like being punched hard in the face. I think we go into parent mode in the hard times and shut down our emotions a bit, and they seep out later in strange and scary little moments. It takes time; there are moments I don't think I'll ever truly get over. Realistically it's probably PTSD and I have got anxiety meds to help.

Take it easy on yourself

@CubeMorphine I'm glad she's improving.
Make sure you take time to take care of yourself too when you can ❤️

Hi Cube. You and your DD have been in my thoughts constantly and I know you've not been been writing this for any of us but my heart goes out to you. You've been so strong and keeping yourself under control, but someday soon you will need to let it all out. Go to a wood or beach and scream or cry as long as you need. How have you got on with the school re: exam entries? Cubette shouldn't have had to sit any exams. Grades should be based on coursework etc.
I don't have a faith so I can't offer you prayers but you have a small piece of my heart. I don't think I will ever forget your story.

@CubeMorphine have been thinking about you this morning. There was a mum on R4 just now whose daughter had died of sepsis and her story of not being listened to and her daughter not being properly cared for really reminded me of your story. How is Cubette doing? And how are you?